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Where are you going? And, why? (Pretending like crazy that what you’re doing really matters)

by / Monday, 13 July 2009 / Published in Uncategorized

I recently had my mind blown by an incredibly profound experience of what Buddhists call emptiness, or “dropped-off body-mind.” In such an experience “how it all is and what it’s all about” becomes stunningly obvious. All ideas dissolve–ALL ideas. Ideas, premises, beliefs, theories, maps of reality, are seen as inconsequential, insubstantial, uninteresting, beside the point. Instead, there’s just an infinitely deep peace, a vast expansiveness, a deep and profound knowingness about the essence of it all–and, the realization that all of this is who you are.

In such an experience, this knowingness of how things really are, what it’s all about, and who you really are is so tangibly obvious that it changes you forever. I hesitate to even call it an experience, because this implies a separate “me” that could experience something, and at such a time it’s obvious that experience and experiencer are one thing, not two.

When you have such an experience you also find that it’s impossible to communicate this knowingness in a way that anyone could possibly understand–unless they, too, have had the experience. When you try to communicate what you’ve realized, anything you say seems foolish and inarticulate, even before you say it. There’s just no way to capture it with ideas or words. For that reason, I’m not going to try to explain it (though I admit I’ve tried in many of these posts), because it can’t be explained–at least in a way that would actually be helpful.

Despite all of this, from this experience I did have one insight I want to share–something I already “knew,” but now see at a deeper, more visceral, more profound level.

Emptiness is an interesting term in Buddhism. It doesn’t actually mean nothing, and it also doesn’t really mean empty in the normal sense of there being nothing there, or that it’s all empty space. Emptiness is actually an attempt to describe what I’ve already said can’t be described. It’s a kind of code-word amongst those who have had the experience.

You could, I suppose, call it “no-thing-ness,” because in this state it’s very clear that there are no separate things, that everything is interconnected and all divisions are unreal–other than in a conceptual sense. Things are units of thought, not units of reality. In this state conceptualizations seem silly, unnecessary, inconsequential, and not pertinent to what really is. You don’t want to conceptualize. It just seems like a lot of effort serving no real purpose.

Even if you’ve had such an experience many times before, this is an odd sensation. After all, for almost all people life is almost entirely conceptual. All but a few rare people live in and through their ideas about reality, their map of how it all is. That map has been taken as the real territory to such a degree that it’s all that most people see. But in the emptiness experience, all these maps and ideas just don’t seem to matter or have much importance.

When you “see how it all is” in this way, your map seems so skinny and insubstantial it’s hard to believe you built your life around it. To say that it seems partial is an understatement. It’s like mistaking a stick-figure for the real you, or a one paragraph biography for the story of your life. This realization–that pretty much everything you’ve hung your hat on for your entire life is insubstantial, partial, and largely irrelevant–is life-changing.

When you’re in touch with this emptiness (or, I should say, when you realize that you are this emptiness), you see the truth of what all the sages, Zen masters, and enlightened beings have said: there really is nowhere to go, and nothing to get. In fact, even if there were something to get, there’s no separate entity who could go anywhere to get it.

When you’re enmeshed in your map of reality, it sure doesn’t seem this way, though. Of course there’s somewhere to go, something to get, and someone to get it! Not only can I feel it, everyone else agrees with me about it. C’mon. Look around. It’s obvious that there are separate things and separate events, including a separate “me.”

All of this seems quite real when you identify with your ideas about reality–which is what all but a few human beings do. It can be quite difficult to untangle yourself from your map (or, at least, it seems to be difficult). The mind can be quite subtle in the way it tempts you to believe in your map. For instance, if you know a lot about Eastern philosophy and mysticism and such things, you might identify with your ideas about emptiness and no-thing-ness, all the while thinking that you “get it.”

In thinking about this experience, I realized how much of life is about getting somewhere and getting something. Wherever we are, we’re dissatisfied. If we are satisfied, it’s momentary, and then we’re off after something else. Wherever we are, we think we’d be better off if only we were somewhere else. And whatever we have, we want (or think we need) something else or something more. Whatever our material, mental, or spiritual situation–we never feel like we’re quite “there.”

This is how it feels when we’re under the spell of our mind and think and feel that we’re a separate entity confronted by lots of other separate things and entities (who don’t care about us or have our best interests at heart). We feel, as the poet A. E. Housman said, “Alone and afraid, in a world I never made.”

If, on the other hand, you really, really, really got that there’s just One Thing, and you’re it–not intellectually, but experientially, in your bones–where would you need to go? Where could you go? And what would you get if you went there?

We have this underlying sensation, then, that there’s something we don’t have, and if we could just get it, then we could rest, then we’d be okay, then things would make sense. (Then there’s the other side of that coin, that there’s something terrible that had better not happen, and which in relation to we feel reasonably okay–but that’s another story for another time.)

When you were a baby, life was all about eating, sleeping, and pooping. But once you could walk and talk, then you were getting somewhere. But being a toddler wasn’t enough. You wanted to get to kindergarten, then first grade. You want to learn to read. It’s coming, that something, and when you get it, well, then things will be great. Keep going. Maybe when you’re bigger.

Maybe it will come in junior high school. But when you get there you want to be in high school. Well, maybe it’ll happen when you have sex, or make the football team. Or, maybe, it’ll come when you’re in college, or when you get married, or have children, or get your PhD. Maybe you’ll get it once you get a job, establish a career, accumulate some money. Climb the success ladder, and then maybe you’ll get it. Maybe it will come once you have children, or when the children are gone, or when you retire.

And so on.

Somewhere along the line a few people begin to suspect that it (whatever it is), might not come from worldly accomplishments, so they turn their attention to spiritual development. Getting it shifts to “if I meditate long enough,” “if I find the right teacher,” “if I read enough spiritual books,” “if I say my mantra for enough years,” “if I finish koan study,” “if I experience grace,” “if I please God,” “if I get rid of desires,” “if I study the Bible,” “if I read all Ken Wilber’s books,” and so on. In some spiritual approaches you actually have to die (physically, not metaphorically) before you get the goodie you’re after. Or, you might have to experience thousands, or even millions, of lifetimes before you get it.

Does this remind you of a donkey trotting after a carrot?

Whether you’re searching in the realms of worldly or spiritual achievement, there’s always something more to get. And, whatever you do get, it’s never quite it. It’s like taking a journey to the horizon. No matter how fast you go, no matter for how long you travel, you never get there. The it you’re looking for is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but the darned rainbow keeps moving.

All this seeking puts you in a double bind. Why? Because you’re trying to get something–whatever that indefinable something is–that you actually already have (or, to be more accurate, which you already are). When you look at it this way, you begin to see all the spiritual books and scriptures, the seminars, the meditation techniques, and all the teachers and gurus in a different light.

Pretend for a moment that you’re a fish. You’re swimming along minding your own business when I come along and tell you that there’s this amazing stuff called water. It’s the ultimate stuff, I tell you, and if you can find it all your problems will be solved. Come to my weekend seminar ($995) and I’ll teach you what you need to know. I have it–the Ancient Secrets of Water–and you don’t. Luckily for you, I’m willing to reveal these sacred secrets to a few lucky fish like you.

Whatever you get from my seminar, though, won’t be quite enough, so you’ll have to come to my advanced seminar ($1995). You’ll be much better off after that (at least you’ll think I’m wonderful, because I’ve obviously got it). You may need, however, to study with me individually for a while. This, of course, is more expensive (but worth it). After all, you do want the Secrets of Water, don’t you?

All the while, you’re swimming in it, and you always have been.

Now, I’m not saying that all seminars are bullshit, or that all teachers are conning you. After all, I make my living as a teacher, and I think what I offer is pretty valuable. Some seminars and teachers, thankfully, are doing their best to say (as I am), “Look, you already have it. In fact, you’re it.”

Ironically, as long as you’re thinking, “If I just do more Holosync, if I just do more Big Mind, if I just spend more time with Baba Suchabanana, if I just become a Zen monk, if I read more spiritual books, if I just could get rid of desire, if I could finish all of Ken Wilber’s books, if I could just get rid of negativity,” you won’t see that you’re already it. As long as the fish is searching like crazy for the water, he’ll fail to see that his entire world is water. It’s like those times when you can’t find your keys, and all the while they’re in your hand.

This search for what you already are, then, is a double bind, an insoluble problem, a wild goose chase. It’s like trying to bite your teeth with your teeth, or touch the end of your finger with the end of the same finger. No matter what you do to get it, you’re never quite there.

This is one of the main reasons why life is so filled with frustration. We’re all busy trying to get the un-gettable (or, rather, what we already have). We’re not even quite sure what it is, but we have this nagging feeling that something is missing. Wherever we are, it isn’t quite the right place. Whatever we have isn’t quite the right thing to have. Whoever we are isn’t the right “me.”

An authentic teacher–one who really knows that it’s all “nothingness” and therefore has seen through the double bind–will take an interesting approach to helping you. On the premise that “a fool who persists in his folly will become wise,” he’ll try to get you to act consistently with your delusion. He’ll put you in a microcosm of the double bind I’ve described, hoping that after some intense, disciplined, and incredibly frustrating seeking, you might begin to doubt the whole enterprise and give it up.

A teacher might, for instance, tell you that the source of your chronic frustration is that you desire. The Buddha said that desire (clinging, thirsting) creates suffering. Stop desiring and you’ll be fine. Ah, that’s the secret! So, you set out to get rid of your desires, and periodically you meet with the teacher so he can check on your progress. As time passes you seem to be able to get rid of a few desires, but others seem quite stubborn. “This is harder than I thought,” you say.

Then the teacher really throws you a curve. “Isn’t your attempt to get rid of desire just another desire? What are you going to do about that?” Oops. Now what? “Hmm. I guess I’ll have to stop desiring to get rid of desire.” But how do you do that? The teacher has put you in a double bind and no matter what you do there’s no escape.

Or, he might ask you, in one of many different ways, to be totally spontaneous, to not act from any of your ideas or concepts. So, you work on that. But how can you be intentionally spontaneous? Another double bind.

And, if you do get it, the teacher will tell you what a wonderful start you’ve made, but there’s more. Keep going. He’ll keep jollying you along as long as he can, until you’re tied up in knots.

These double binds are, as I said earlier, the double bind of life in microcosm. The double bind, along with the authority of the teacher (he seems to have it), your intense desire and commitment to get it, can create incredible frustration and doubt. This frustration and doubt is designed to drive you to the point where you give up, where you see through the whole thing.

This Great Doubt, as it’s called in Zen, throws you into the transcendent, into the experience of emptiness, and from that place, you suddenly see how ridiculous the whole endeavor was. You, the fish, see that it’s all water, and what in the hell were you searching for all that time?

Or, the whole thing drives you completely out of your mind.

But let’s look at the other side of the coin, because while all of the above is true–there really is nothing to get and nowhere to go, and none of your getting or going is going to save you or solve the basic problem of life (that we suffer). As long as you’re here, you have to go somewhere and try to get something. You have to play the game. If you don’t, life has no juice, no pizzazz.

You can only rest in emptiness (or Oneness, or whatever you want to call it) for so long. After a while, the relative world comes along and bites you in the ass. Everything may indeed be one all-encompassing and interconnected thing/process, and who you are may certain be that process, but that doesn’t mean the relative world isn’t here.

As that one thing/process manifests as the entire natural universe, it obeys the laws of cause and effect. And, as I said at length in a previous post, there is no escape from that. What’s more, there’s also no escape from the fact that everything in the relative universe is impermanent and eventually passes away or falls apart.

Eastern philosophy has a wonderful metaphor to describe the fact that while you’re it you’re also subject to impermanence and cause and effect: the one energy of everything is playing Hide and Seek with itself. You’re it, but you pretend to not know that you’re it. You hide who you really are from yourself, and then you look for it. What fun.

At first, though, you look for it in the form of worldly pleasures, status, power, and all the other things you think will satisfy you. As you probably know, none of them, at least in any ultimate sense, can satisfy you. When you do get what you want, it only satisfies you for a short while, and then you need something else. You get a new car and for a while it’s all very exiting and satisfying, but within a month or so it’s just transportation. You have one Pringle, but then you want another.

What’s more, whatever you get is eventually used up or falls apart. No matter what you do, eventually impermanence wins.

If somehow you could scratch your itch to find satisfaction in every possible way, until you totally run out of things to try, you might see through it all and realize that nothing will ever give you any real and lasting satisfaction, salvation, or relief. This would be the equivalent of trying in every possible way to get rid of desire, until you were completely stymied.

The great spiritual masters, down through the centuries, have found that this experience of coming to the end of your rope, this experience of Great Doubt, can lead to an experience of awakening, of emptiness, of seeing that you already are what you’ve been seeking–and that all along there was nowhere to go, nothing to get, and nothing to realize.

The Zen master who asks you to get rid of desire, or to show your original face (or one of many other double-bind problems he might give you) is giving you a short cut, because he knows you’ll never be able to try every way of (hopefully) gaining lasting salvation or satisfaction.

So here you are. Perhaps you know who you are. Perhaps you just believe me and the others who may have told you who you are, but it’s intellectual rather than experiential. Knowing intellectually, I’m afraid, isn’t going to help. It might be a good start, but to really know who you are, it must be experienced. As long as it’s merely something you believe, it’s just another “something” to chase after. If so, once again, you’re chasing your own tail, because you’re already it.

But let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you really do know who you are. You know that you are the emptiness the Buddhists speak about, and you know it experientially. You might want to just hang out in that emptiness place, and for a while you probably will. It’s a great place to hang out. But, as I said, the relative world will eventually intrude on your reverie. The organism though which this Oneness is being experienced is still subject to impermanence and cause and effect, and sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with that.

Knowing who you really are makes this a lot easier, though. If you were an actor playing Hamlet, but somehow forgot that you were an actor, and thought you really were Hamlet, it would be a tragedy, because everyone dies in the end. If, however, you knew it was just a play, and that after the curtain fell you’d all go back to the green room, take off your makeup and your costumes, and go out and have a beer together, you’d have a great time playing at being Hamlet.

So after the experience of emptiness (there could be many, each one deeper than the last), the next step is to integrate this knowingness of who you really are with the reality of the relative world. In part, this means acting as if there really is somewhere to go and something to get, while in the back of your mind you know it doesn’t matter. You pretend like crazy, though, that it does matter, and you do this because this is what makes life worth living. And, anyway, what else would you do?

What’s different is that from this integrated place you have choice. Instead of unconsciously careening from one object of desire to another, from one place you think you should be to another, from one “me” you want to be to another, you consciously choose what to want, where to go, and who to be, knowing the consequences and consciously deciding to accept them. You know that whatever you become attached to eventually will be used up, fall apart, or end, but you decide to become attached anyway. This frees you to love the people and things in your life–but to do so with awareness.

Zen student and British-born Japanese scholar R.H. Blyth once wrote to Alan Watts, saying, “How are you, Alan? As for me, I’ve given up all thoughts of satori and enlightenment and am busy becoming attached to as many people and things as possible.” This is an expression of this idea of becoming attached, not unconsciously, but with awareness and choice.

So in your game of Hide and Seek, once you find what you were looking for (yourself), you keep playing, but now your playing is more relaxed. Instead of trying hard you “try soft,” because you know that although cause and effect and impermanence are real, they’re just the play of that one that one all-encompassing “it” and though it won’t always appear as what you think of as “me,” it will always appear as something, and that something is who you really are.


Before I let you go I have a very important announcement–what some people are calling the biggest personal and spiritual growth event of the first decade of the new millennium. On August 29th and 30th, Ken Wilber, Zen master Genpo Roshi, Zen master Bernie Glassman Roshi, and I will present Enlightenment and the Western Mind in Westminster, Colorado (in the Denver area). This will be a highly interactive, free-wheeling event–one I suspect will never happen again, ever.

As you know if you’ve been following this blog for long, for the last several years I’ve been fortunate to know and work with the great author, philosopher, and spiritual teacher Ken Wilber, and to have an even closer relationship with the great Zen master Genpo Roshi. I’ve also done everything possible to share these great teachers with those who use Holosync and are involved with Centerpointe. I’ve had huge positive growth in my own life as a result of these relationships, and I want you to experience the same thing.

This is your chance to sit at the feet and learn from two Zen masters, and Ken Wilber (and me, too). We’ll be talking about the development of Western Spirituality, and where it might go from here, but I suspect this weekend will cover MUCH more. In fact, I’m quite sure that this weekend will profoundly deepen your experience and understanding of who you are, what life is about, and how to live with true inner peace, happiness, compassion, and success.

I’m convinced, in fact, that this is going to be a truly historic event. Many people are calling it the key spiritual event of the first decade of the 21st century. If I were you, I would do whatever you have to do to be there. It took an event of this magnitude to tempt Ken Wilber, who is in poor health, into making a rare public appearance. None of us are really sure when Ken might stop appearing in public altogether.

To see Ken, along with Genpo Roshi, Bernie Roshi (Genpo’s dharma brother, known for his deep understanding, his skill as a teacher, and his compassionate service in the world), and me, together in the same event, is something that will probably never happen again.

Besides, I really want you to meet Ken, Genpo Roshi, and Bernie Roshi–and, if I haven’t met you in person, I want to meet you, too.

The cost for this special event is $1295, but you can save $300 if you sign up by July 21st. Quite frankly, I’m pretty sure this is going to sell out, and quickly, so if you want to be there, grab your spot right away. Just go to and click on “register now” on the right, or call 801 328 8414. I look forward to seeing you at what I’m sure will be the experience of a lifetime.

So, until next time, be well.


(click the player above to listen to this post)

206 Responses to “Where are you going? And, why? (Pretending like crazy that what you’re doing really matters)”

  1. Johnny says :

    Hi Bill,

    Did you change anything in your daily routine to experience the “dropped-off body-mind?” Or was this just a byproduct of continual development? Something occurred within ‘you’ which enabled you to finally experience this.

    FROM BILL: When you stop spending your time in your mind and your mental map of reality, you begin to see things the way they really are. Until then you continually construct a separate self and a lot of other separate things. See my many other posts about this.

  2. Peteris Maris Mikelsons says :

    The “it” sought by everyone including “me” will be manifested at the session in august. I would like to hear about it after the fact from the mouths of babes or from the live masters at their event. please spare me paying to travel and participate, and try to come up with as good a blog as the one you prepared this afternoon on July 13, 2009. i’ll be happy to read it and feedback comments to your feedback at the time of the subject event. Be well and balanced so that you have truth in your “apres” (after) talk. if anything of value gets divulged, found or discussed, then you should be happy to share “it” with all comers who could not attend the event. Hoping that yousee my pointe of vue. Peteris

    FROM BILL: That’s like asking me, if I go to the Strawberry Festival, to come back and tell you what was revealed about how strawberries taste so you can find that out. You want to know what a strawberry tastes like without tasting one. Let me clear this up right now: nothing anyone tells you about “it” is ever going to help you. You must taste for yourself.

  3. Stephen Warrilow says :

    So Bill knowing what you do – why do you charge people for sharing that insight and experience?

    I ask the same question that I did on your last post and that you neither answered or published and I challenge you to do so this time:

    Buddha and Christ didn’t charge a commercial fee for attending their sessions so why do you? Who and what are you Bill? Businessman or spiritual guru?

    Yes as a business-man you have and do provide enormous value for what you charge – and you fully deserve the enormous personal wealth you have accrued from from the valuable services you provide.

    But the whole “the market will decide the true value” argument you always offer is simply a reflection of the industry [personal development] and prardigm and culture[capitalist American] of which you are a part – all of which you very well you know.

    So your dismissals, and criticisms of anyone [regardless of their “shadow material”] who questions any aspect of your definition of and potential contradiction of your role as businessman making a fortune out of “value PD products” and genuine spiritual advisor seem harsh – and is merely a reflection of the culture and paradigm that you are a part of and embrace so enthusiatically.

    [Yes i am aware you donate X hundred of thousands of $ to good causes – cos you told us!! – but Bill did you really have to tell us that??]

    And as I said in my last post that you did not publish – simple direct question Bill – are you a businessman or a spiritual teacher?

    Where is the distinction? How are we to know Bill?

    Please just for one moment jump out of the paradigm of wealth fame and association with Genpo Roshi et al – stand naked and tell us – who are you Bill Harris – businessman – or spiritual teacher?

    [I say all this and ask this simple question as someone who has used and benefited from Holosync for many years and who has subscribed to and benefited a lot from your LLIP courses. In other words I am a repeat customer who has spent hundreds of pounds with you and has benefited massively from your products.]

    best wishes
    Stephen Warrilow

    FROM BILL: How sad for you that you have to ask such inane questions. And how sad for you that the world doesn’t conform to your idea of what it should be. That must be very difficult for you.

    What difference does it make how you or anyone else labels me or what I do? Everything I do is right out in the openand you are free to see it your way. You obviously don’t like the fact that we charge money for some things we offer (and which could not be offered otherwise), so don’t buy them. For some reason, despite all my evil actions, I have hundreds of thousands of people all over the world who are grateful for what I do. If you have a problem with me, go somewhere else where the teacher fits your stereotype of what is “good.” Why keep hanging around here? It’s not good for your blood pressure. Please don’t post again, as I will not publish any more of it. I don’t spend hours each month writing this blog for whiney complainers, and I doubt very much that anyone wants to read about your shadows and personal problems.

  4. Simply I think you said…….

    As long as you WANT–you can never Have?

    Kathie Cureington

    FROM BILL: No, I said you’re already what you want.

  5. Kyle says :

    Thank you , Bill. I think back to the days when I was 15 and looking for information like this in my small town public library. After reading everything there like The Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda, I started ordering books. That was a long time ago. Today, I so appreciate that you share this excellent information with those who want it, free and with fingertip access. A true gift.

  6. Jeffrey S. Donohue says :

    I think…. that you just became “Aware” of the Water.
    From my perspective, everything is right in front of you. The solution to all your problems is right in front of your face, but mostly you have to go on a thousand mile journey to gain the experience and awareness of what was there all along. You could take this experience and say “I know that answer is right here, somewhere” but it’s probably faster and more meaningful to take the thousand mile journey to find the answer to gain experience, awareness and expertise to deal with that which was in front of you all along.

    FROM BILL: What problems?

  7. sheyla says :

    So appreciate you and your blogs… the life force behind them, revealing, dancing, daring, revealing more… Thank you.

    The feeling that appeared when at the end of the page a price tag was offered is not to interfere with the love i have. Not feel. Have.
    Your profound experience with the void really made me happy for you Bill. The aliveness that IS within the dropping of self, of i, of name etc… is not to be transmitted in words as you well know… and here you are once again sharing, revealing, dancing, daring and revealing more. The desire to ignore the sell side of the blog is strong now as the text’s fullness is being read again…

    FROM BILL: Just so you know, the money for the event I told you about at the end of the post goes to Vast Sky, which is a non-profit organization created by Ken Wilber, Genpo Roshi, and Bernie Glassman Roshi. I am not involved financially, other than that they asked me to speak (and I will fly myself there and book a hotel room at my own expense). If you don’t want something that is being sold, don’t buy it. If you don’t want to see such offers, don’t read them. Why does it bother you that people sell things? This is a shadow, my dear (go read my post about shadows). You buy things every day, I assume because you either want or need them. What if you wanted or needed them and didn’t know they existed? What if no one offered them for sale? What would you do then?

  8. Michelle Jaffe says :

    I’ve had a similar experience recently. I had a waking dream where my reality was striped bare of things. The superfluous separated from the elemental. Although the experience was intense, I couldn’t recall an image. I later joked to a friend that once the inconsequential was taken away there wasn’t much left. I now see the elemental much more clearly in my daily life. Thank you for sharing your experience. It has added additional clarity to my own. “

  9. Laurie says :

    Enjoyed your blog. Thank you for sharing. Neal Walsch once said that the more people value something the less they are willing to pay for it. Teachers and clergy for instance. Perhaps some of your readers believe it is possible to sell enlightenment, and they are afraid because they don’t think they can afford it. Silly isn’t it? You can’t buy “it” and you can’t sell “it”. You’ve already got “it” and how you choose to spend your money or earn your money is irrelevant. It’s just a play, as you said. And Jesus? No he did not charge a fee. He asked you to give up all your belongings, leave everything and follow him. Perhaps he meant give up every idea, every map of reality, everything you hold precious, because none of it is of any consequence.

  10. Hi Bill, Thank you for another clear post. I’m a long-term Holosync user and have been pleased to discover that less and less matters much. Even negative comments posted by a few readers about money, and charging for seminars. These remarks are quite silly and smack of smartness. You are not defined by labels as businessman, spiritual teacher or anything else and if people want to draw comparisons with Jesus and Buddha, well … if you can be bothered, feel flattered! I hope the seminar is as good as you believe it will be, and if I lived handy I would be pleased to attend. Meanwhile I appreciate the serenity of everyday life. best wishes, Margaret.

  11. Rosario Oliveira says :

    Dear Bill:
    It is the first time ever that I read something that thoroughly explains all my feelings and experiences. I really agree with you. You expressed it in a perfect way, just beautifully!.

    I have felt this oneness several times already and frankly it is happening with more frecuency during this year. I just love it! there is nothing better that that feeling, it is just pure love in its maximum expression. Pure unconditional love. It is impossible to explain. There are no words to explain the increadible magnitude of that feeling.

    I get so depressed afterwards because coming back to 3D after such an experience is rather painful. It is physically and mentally painful…and the only thing you think about is when you are going to be able to experience that feeling of love-oneness again.

    If I am what I am looking for, then I can tell you that I am just beautiful and that I love myself very very very much. I am so understanding and full of love that I am just gorgeous!…I just cannot really express how wonderful I am…and I did not know it….LOL. Thank you very much Bill!

    FROM BILL: The even deeper insight is that there is no escape from that “3D” you talk about. Yes, the transcendent seems like an escape, but it isn’t.

  12. Andy Phillips says :

    Hi Bill You know I have read so much stuff, and the best of it all is yours. The way you explain things relates to my way of thinking, it really speaks to me and I know you are my main man at the moment. In fact reading this last post, I felt huge love welling up in me for you and the whole shebang – probably assisted by my Gamma Compassion sessions :-)

    Here in the relative world of course, we have to chop wood and fetch water. That’s the ‘business’ of survival for the organism and it is mediated in our culture by money. As you are the priestly elder in my (global) village, I’m happy to pay you for the service you are giving me, just as I put money on the Church plate and subscribe to various voluntary and charity groups.

    Which is why I don’t understand the hang ups with the ‘money-go-round’. I don’t understand those who complain but I also don’t understand why you get so shirty about it. It makes me laugh – and it is in that spirit that I point it out to you.

    Much love, Andy

    FROM BILL: I’m trying to shake them up so they might see that it is their shadow they are seeing, not something about me. These people travel in packs, where they all reinforce each other’s delusion. I’m hoping a swift kick might cause them to own their reaction.

  13. James says :

    Hi Bill,

    Firstly, Id like to thank you for all that your program has done for me, I’ve gone from being miserable in a job that I hated to being extremely happy and enjoying everyday at college studying what I love to do.

    However, the Oneness you describe doesnt sound 100% Utopian to me. I understand what you mean about not getting caught up in the tragedy of being Hamlet, but what about positive emotions, like love? Do they not seem like a pale copy of the real thing?

    Also, I believe that one of the best features of humankind is that we strive to better ourselves (although I accept that there are individuals that either give up or get stuck on the path). But if we accept that we are all everything and have nothing to get, are we losing one of the qualities of what it is to be human? Is playing the game and going through the motions as R.H. Blyth describes really enough? In the past, I’ve had the privilege of doing adventurous jobs that a lot of people would love to do, and I got tired of doing them even though I thought I never would. I’ve come to accept that I’ll always need new experiences to keep me satisfied, and I believe that is what will allow me to grow and learn new things. If this level of awareness was taken away and I realised that we are all from the same energy, would it not be like playing a computer game albeit without the ‘save’ option?

    Before I go, I’ll let you into the secret that Im studying postgrad psychology although you probably already guessed that! ;) Thank you Bill.

    FROM BILL: RH Blyth was not going through the motions, and that is not what I’m suggesting. I’m suggesting that you become deeply involved in life.

  14. Ken Boyd says :

    I am only in the foothills of this journey and am extremely grateful that you offer these opportunities to grow. For me, you serve a purpose in that you direct my search or journey. As I have some cash I am happy to pay for it. I suspect that we are on the edge of a new paradigm. Genpo Roshi has outgrown Zen, Benedict (is is XVI?) is fast losing his grip on the RC church because he has run out of answers. His predecessor could only reaffirm what we already knew, Rowan Williams is hopelessly caught up in the argument of straight v. gay but we the congregation have already made up our minds. Unsustainablle growth and greed have had their comeuppance. The bankers are scrabbling to get their view of the world back but it is no longer there. Bush, Brown and a few others look hopelessly outdated. The Taleban can offer only a XIII th view of life and the world is going to hell in a hand cart. 21/12/2012 is suggested as the sell by date of our existing paradigm. As it is not far off I myself will wait until then, Deo volente, to find out if the separation of spiritual guru and businessman is a valid idea. For myself, I believe abundance to be only one of many gifts from above and it is only the “church” that makes such a division because it wanted the spoils for itself.

  15. Larry says :

    Do you mean to say you have experienced Nibbana, the ultimate goal of buddhism? Are you now an arahat, permanently free from Samsara?

  16. carol says :

    Hey Bill,
    I’ve been ‘lucky’ to have a couple of enlightening moments in my life but since these moments I’ve always felt a little ‘sad’ in the world. Thanks for the notes about integration.

  17. Tim Jones says :

    Thought- provoking post. It certainly raises some interesting questions about how to live ones’ life- if theres’ nothing that can really be done to
    bring about ones’ awakening, do you keep meditating and spiritually questing in the hope that it will help some, or just forget about it and think about something else? British spiritual teacher Tony Parsons dosen’t seem to think it makes any difference to enlightenment whether you spend your life meditating in a cave or lying down drunk in the gutter- if its’ gonna happen, its’ gonna happen…

    FROM BILL: I’m not saying that there’s nothing that can be done. I’m saying that there is no separate doer to do it. Doing happens, the doer is an unnecessary ghost.

  18. Kate Lee says :

    Thank you for this post, Bill. It was very helpful for me to read this today.

  19. fox says :

    Regarding the fact what we already ARE IT, do we continue to listen to holosync?
    If yes, why?
    To increase the quality of life of the dream character?
    Would that not increase the identification with the not existing ‘I’, and hence lead to more suffering instead of an increase of the quality of life of the illusory ‘I’?

    FROM BILL: The dream character, as you call it, is real. If you don’t believe me, pound your hand with a hammer, or visit a hospital. And, awareness of what really is (which is what Holosync, or traditional meditation, provides, is preferable to unawareness.

  20. Sharon Oakes says :

    Thank you so much for sharing your ideas in this blog. It feels like just the information I needed at this time in my life. I feel like a big weight has been lifted from from my whole being. (((BIG HUGS))) *Namaste*

    Sharon Oakes

  21. Nancy says :

    I want to thank you for exposing yourself every month, clearly

    with the intention of helping people, your students, to

    discover/experience more intensely who they are. Your blog is always challenging and thought provoking, and you are saying things that are difficult to say with words. But, until we can do a Vulcan mind transfer, how else can we know what you have learned and want to share? Additionally, I always am grateful for Holosync, which not only keeps me from flipping out, but adds to my peace, creativity and understanding daily.

    I see that you do not just play Hamlet (performer) , but also Socrates (student) and Plato (teacher), Henry Ford (inventor and businessman) and Arthur C. Clarke (author about what is and what might be) and I have no idea how many other parts you experience less publically. — Quite a lot to juggle! I believe this diversity of roles helps you to understand and empathize with most of your students. As John Lennon said, “I am you and you are me….I am a walrus.”

    As you described children challenging themselves to “acquire” more freedom and more skills and more, more, more, I was thinking about how this is the transit from unlimited spiritual being to ego-earthly-bound being who will then try to remember that they are an unlimited being (as you just did). I don’t remember which teacher said that the frustration of the child is because it is difficult for such an unlimited soul to be stuffed into that little body…:)

    It might have been Bruce Lipton in his talk about the next step in human evolution. This period is Ethics. We are leaving the Planetary Cycle which was about industry and power. The next cycle, when we get the ethics right, is Galactic Consciousness…. Personally, I don’t see how I can be ready for such a leap without Holosync.

    Thank you,

  22. Tom Porter says :

    Hi Bill,

    The name Alan Watts seems to come up frequently in your blogs and in your personal appearances. Sometimes it seems that you use entire sections from his series of recorded lectures to illustrate a point. He was a master of the English language and of painting vivid word pictures, so I can understand why you would change very little of how and what he said. However, it seems to me that at times you have not given credit to him as the source for interpretation of a particular Eastern philosophy that you are writing/talking about.

    Please know that I deeply appreciate the messages Alan Watts brought into the world, and I deeply appreciate your messages, as well. I just think it’s a good idea to clearly define and differentiate his from yours.

    Also know that I recognize that I could be making all of this up (my filtering process might be slanting and fabricating incoming data). So I’m offering my comments not as “facts” but as a “possibility”.

    FROM BILL: Alan Watts was certainly one of my teachers. He got his stuff, though, from a whole lineup of other teachers, who got it from still other teachers. We all stand on the shoulders of giants. I use some of Alan’s metaphors (which are really re-purposed from those of Zen teachers, Hindu gurus, etc) because they do indeed speak to Westerners. I’m certainly not trying to say I came up with all these ways of communicating the unknown–and Alan didn’t try to say that he came up with it, either. Every Zen teacher teaches what he learned from his teacher, and then amplifies it with his own way of communicating. I also use many things I’ve learned from Genpo Roshi (and, for that matter, from several other teachers).

  23. Mimi Stratton says :

    I’ve had that experience once or twice in my life and you’re absolutely right, Bill, it does change your life forever. The feeling of absolutely “knowing” goes away after a little bit, but the fact that you know you had it once confers a peace. I like what you say about “choices” with awareness!

  24. Doctor D says :

    Great post, Bill. I think it’s worth emphasizing (especially to some who seem to have a problem with exchanging financial resources for teachings) that if you or anyone else offers something like a book or seminar for a cost, or you or anyone else purchases a seminar or book for a cost that as long as this exchange is the result of a conscious choice, it needn’t be viewed as some sort of slap in the face to spirituality. Sometimes I think people have a pretty limiting belief that unless you’re begging for alms (instead of selling products and services) that it should somehow be suspect. Stephen is reading and consuming a lengthy post about something very personal and profound, for FREE, and can only spend time worrying about the cost of the seminar you’re doing. It is a little sad.

    FROM BILL: Especially when the money goes to a non profit so numerous good things can be done for others.

  25. Jacki says :

    Hi Bill

    I enjoy reading your blog. I like to read different perspectives. The words point us to notice what’s already here. This is my perspective, I’ll share a few insights. It has to do with what you are noticing and the ability to shift your attention at will. Shift attention from filtering your experience through your thinking mind, to having direct experience itself. Let go of needing to know. Put attention on that which is AWARE of everything. Let go and relax into just noticing. I started to notice a silent and ever present watching. This watching watches thoughts (thinking), watches your talking and whatever is happening. I started to notice when I’m aware of something I’m not identified with it. Anyway something miraculous happens in this letting go and watching. From this perspective I realized my experience is all one, I am the giver and the receiver of my experience and when consciousness is held steady in awareness, well this is what some could call enlightenment.

  26. Azwar Yusoff says :

    It is sad to see this argument about the rationale for charging fees for this and that. I hope everyone realises that no matter how enlightened a person is, he/she is still a human being, vis a vis expends resources. Whatever is charged is to help them to continue their well intent mission and it is not possible to do that without resources.

  27. Carrie says :

    Brilliant!!! Thanks

  28. Eric says :

    Hey Bill. So is this like when I’ve struggled with something for some time and then decided to drop it, because I could see that I only had the struggle because I chose to have it and didn’t have to have it? In those cases, I would feel somewhat altered and free for a brief moment before I threw myself into something else. I would always think, this is nice, and then it would be gone.

    If that is what that is, even though you have to go back to playing the game, can you experience it whenever you want?

  29. sheyla says :

    Oh, Bill, you are correct in pointing out the shadow side… that’s why i posted the fact that awareness of it did not overtake from the fullness of your blog…
    I so appreciate you and the time you took to even answer such a unimportant comment. You are wonderful, I love you, and thank you for pointing out the shadow for you are pointing in the right direction!

    FROM BILL: Your comments are not unimportant. And thanks for loving me!

  30. Ghislaine says :

    Thank you for posting that blog..That did answer some questions I had lately in my mind.
    With gratitude,

  31. Nigel lewis says :

    Bill I have been a supporter of you for many years and see you as both a spiritual leader and businessman. I have been using holosync for about 5 years now. I have to say I was dissappointed at the way you replied to Stephen Warrilow.
    It felt that you were offended by him and reacted rather than responded. This gave the impression that you are judgmental and uncaring which I have never thought you to be.I did not expect that from you. It gave me the impression that you were letting your fame go to your head. Hope you do not find these comments offensive this is the first time I have ever posted a blog.

    FROM BILL: Sometmes people need a kick in the ass. I am not here to wrangle with whiners when other students are engaged in what the discussion is about. Stephen has a huge shadow around the marketplace (this was one of several similar posts he has made on this subject, about which he is obsessed). Since he is not open to owning his shadow about this, or even considering owning it, his only reason for being here is to complain. He is wasting my time and the time of the others who read the blog.

  32. nerakami says :

    I think it was purposeful that you posted the comments from both Stephen Warrilow and sheyla as they both refer to you and money. Your responses have the energy of being “offended” by their remarks almost as if you have to justify how and what you do. Hmmm – very interesting as the very fact that it is presented to you indicates it has significance for you and possible introspection.

    Personally, I do not question anyone’s effort to make a living as I have always believed one’s passion ought to sustain him… besides the Universe has a way of righting what may be imbalanced or inappropriate in all our lives. What I am moved to comment on however, is your response to Stephen which surprises me a bit, especially in light of what this blog is about. It speaks from the ego:

    – “I don’t spend hours each month writing this blog for whiney complainers, and I doubt very much that anyone wants to read about your shadows and personal problems.” –

    The fact that it has effected such a response tells me that there is something here for you to look at without judgment but with complete awareness otherwise your response may simply have been; ” If there is anything out of harmony with what I am doing, then I am open to the Universe for complete clarity” – Whether you like it or not, I think you got a message…
    with love and light…

  33. Julius Ko says :

    Sounds like a great event Bill, GL.

    – Ju

  34. Podabla says :

    What’s interesting is that the very experience of dropped off body & mind is well known to people who eat the magic mushroom, yes Alice & Wonderland style. With a little help from psychoactive fungus you too can stop caring about anything and everything, you too can realize how pointless it is to even finish this sen

    In response to that dickish comment by Stephen Warrilow
    Anyone can be a spiritual business teacher man, you don’t have to choose one or other. Besides if everything is one, than everything is spirit, and everything is business, suck on those apples Warrilow, and stop trying to force people to categorize themselves by your imagined limitations of what is allowed in the matrix of controller self.

    Ironically the running theme of this blog post isn’t actually mentioned by name in this post. It’s what Genpo Roshi calls the seeking mind.

    The seeking mind is your self when it is in the process of searching for or getting the new thing or experience, and then after you’ve had that seeking something else.

    No mind, or dropped of body and mind is like hitting the pause button, or taking the spindle off the record of life, which is what people do sometimes when they are just tired of pursuing a fruitless path, or a goose chase, or a dead end.

    It’s the realization that there is no where to go or nothing to do, until you are ready to put the spindle back on the record, lovely music fills the air, you decide to dance for a while, and then you realize your thirsty, and you go to the kitchen to get some water, and you drink the water, and then you realize that you want something else, and then you realize wow I’m being the seeking mind a lot, and if that’s ok, then let it be ok, and if your tired of it…

    Never you mind this now, its not important that you know this, and there isn’t actually anything to know anyways, thought distinctions are artificialities, manufactured illusions, magnificent debris, magnetic anomalous abstractions signalling the smell of hearts desire to an entrenched psychic thirst unaware of its stumbling goat like grazing actuality.

    To know that you are a goat, what is the point? for you will still climb the mountain, still eat the grass, still do what goats do, the only difference is knowing that you are, and by playing your role, your doing what you did before perhaps enjoying the irony of it more, and you might even ask as Bill did in his post, what else is there to do?

    There is an ancient saying: before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water.

    Which brings me to the conclusion of this very long reply to Bill’s post, which is an item of personal interest, and a suggestion for future business.

    On Sunday’s Genpo Roshi’s website hosts an online video lecture, sometimes its live, sometimes it’s a rerun of greatest hits lectures. and what’s cool is that there is also a live chat.

    Why is it that some people will never fly out to your retreats? It’s because some people don’t travel, and some people prefer to avoid the company of groups, some have obligations that require them to stay were they are at all times, and some people have schedules that do not permit a weekend retreat that coincides with your schedule.

    But if you offered a live online video lecture, with a chatroom for participants and volunteer moderators, and charged $40 dollars per hour long session and you managed to fill the lecture with 4000 to 100000 former or current holosync users, and it could go beyond that with big workshops led by visiting teachers, or downloadable videos of your various exercises or games. A live video / chat program for pay would also allow you to reach more people, including more disabled people, while paying for itself eventually with subscription fees.

    I think a lot of people, perhaps your inner circle members, perhaps others would love to have you host a facebook, or gaia like social website, consisting of video lectures from the teachers you associate with, a virtual campus.

    Take care.

    FROM BILL: Very insightful comments about my post. And, we have been contemplating some sort of webinar type of presentation.

  35. Ed Pisko says :

    Bill, Another wonderful post. I too have had the sudden experience of oneness after years of study and meditation. I would say though that such an experience didn’t come with any desire to give away all my money or change my lifestyle. Well I did stop working. While in India, I observed sadhus who covered their bodies in ash and wore loincloths. I view the world as all one and obviously I have no problem with their choice. It has been suggested though that I do something similar at this stage of my life. But as you say above, the act of doing this raises the irony that one chooses this lifestyle because of the desire to achieve something; in this case moksha or enlightenment which is the freedom from desire! or worse the motivation could be the desire to appear compassionate or humble. Krishnamurti, one of the greatest spiritual teachers of the 20th century, loved to wear designer clothes. As you say, it is all about awareness. He didn’t wear them to impress people. He was simply aware that he liked nice clothes so he wore them. You like nice houses so you bought one. I like eating in Parisian restaurants. Some people choose to take a vow of poverty. It is all part of the same thing. It is all one. It is absurd for people to tell you or me how we should live our lives. As absurd as ordering the sky to change color.

    FROM BILL: Everything everyone does is a way of trying to deal with the human condition. That is, until you go through Great Doubt (that any of it will fend off impermanence) and experience No Hope (which, as I said above, is not the same as being hopeless).

  36. Joe says :

    Babasuchabanana, too funny!

  37. carlos says :

    It get a little pissed off when so many people judge the fact that Bill Harris charges money or advertises in HIS BLOG.(I know I am judging too I am judging the judgers)

    Come on people, it is HIS BLOG.

    I even get pissed off when Bill defends himself saying that the money will be donated to a non profit. It is HIS MONEY.

    If it was me I would say to those people that I am going to spend the money hanging out with Donald Trump and 10 strippers so they get the hell out of this blog and stop posting.

    PD I know, my shadows. :-)

    FROM BILL: In this case, it isn’t my money. I’m just speaking at it. It is Vast Sky’s event, and their money.

  38. Rod Lawless says :

    All I know is that if someone offers me something for $1 then that is how much worth I put on it. If it costs $2,000 and I pay for it I will get my 2K out of it. I used to know a guy who wouldn’t even consider a ‘guru’ who charged. He is still on the wheel.

    As for the body of the blog post, Thank you so much. It really made me smile. Sometimes I think I am so close to knowing IT that maybe I already do. Then I read this and you tell me I am IT and therefore I do know it. I just don’t know I know it which is a bit of a bummer. But, hey, who really cares? Not me.
    I woke this morning from,I guess it was a dream, where I knew I was going to die today. It haunted me all day and yet I’m still here. I have had these premonitions before about other ‘worldly’ stuff and they have always been 100% spot on. I was hoping that it was my sense of self, Ego, that was going to die. We’re both still here. And we’re both broke so I hope you can bring out an affordable DVD of the seminar.
    Many thanks for all you do, Bill. (Guruner) That’s a guru/entreprenuer.
    I am what I am, The great sage, Popeye, said that.

  39. Rae Fewster says :

    Hi Bill
    First let me say I am only a beginner in my 3rd month but it is all so interesting and amazing.
    I am writing because I had the same mindblowing experince of
    “emptiness” 0ver 27 years ago. I woke in the middle of the night and just knew everything and was everything. I remember smiling and thinking that in the morning I would wake up and have forgotten everything but that wonderful bliss..the point being the bliss and the remembering of who and what I and we all are.
    I have kept that remembrance with me but have spent all these years since that night trying to let that knowing fill my life all day every day with little success as I have spent too much time battling with pain from a very sad childhood and much depression. Though I am resisting allot at the moment and still feel scared of this whole thing I have a knowing about it as well and just want to say thanks for all the blogs and dvds and the whole thing as I think this has really helped me turn a corner to be where I belong in my life. Thanks and namaste!
    p.s. Bill do you use any of your work to help people in prisons or in mental health facilities?? That would be amazing!

  40. Joanne says :

    Hi Bill

    Just reading some of your messages, there are some real odd bods out there. That stephen W needs to chill out he obvioulsy has issues he needs to deal with lol, what a wolly, i bet he thought he was right smart when he was writing that.
    Thanks for intresting reading, I always like the way you explain things.
    best wishes

  41. Terry Lyle says :

    As usual I’m awed by your comments and even more enlightened by many of the responses. I must confess that I thought your story about the teacher helping a fish to find water and charging a great price was very funny because I knew that at the end of your blog you would have your own offer of a similar nature. But that is the irony (if that’s the correct word) of the whole thing. I am willing to pay you, if I can, to find water if only to learn I already have it. I have done that with other teachers. At one seminar I went to, the teacher commented on how we want things to be like in the Wizard of Oz. And I said, but it’s true…you are giving us things that we already have just like the Wizard!

    Well, I have had a chuckle over the money thing if no one else has.

    In fact, I just realized that all through my holosync meditation (2 years now) and reading your support materials and your books and this blog, you are continuously showing me what I already have….HA! And I am happy to pay!

  42. Sam says :

    This post on emptiness was a really motivating one for me regarding looking at my own practice, especially because you included so many real-world examples of how the emptiness can be experienced in the every day way in which we live in the world. I think that often times talks of emptiness are covered in this sort of mystic “vibration” that is only worthy of anything because it makes you feel mysterious when in the presence of whatever that “it” is, and you’ve really tried to stay away from all of that and deal with what’s really important. I also appreciate the humorous way in which you look at our current ideas of spirituality because it’s really easy to get caught up in that sort of thing when looking to complete ourselves, and I often times look back and laugh at myself when I’ve fallen into these traps only to find out later that I perhaps only need a good dose of confidence in my own ability to find the way within. There is a way to find the light within and all of that, and I think that with proper understanding of the way in which the world works that we can use your discussion here to find that light, however it’s not like we’re trying to chase after the light as if it were a draggon. Finding the light within means doing our own spiritual practice as well as having a definite major purpose which benefits the beings of our world, and noticing that the light comes by the way inbetween when we’re fulfilling our purpose without our having to think about light or darkness or dualitty or anything like that.

    I’ve learned that it’s helpful to look from the perspective of the one onto the many such that the one that is observing everything observes from the center of being and looks out upon the many manifestations which the one observes. I’ve often times gotten trapped in the perspective of trying to look from the many–the disowned selves from which one speakes in big mind is a good model for this–onto the perspective of the one wherein I am the center of the universe and this universe is mine and that is all I see. When I look from the one it becomes apparent that everything is this emptiness, and the one through which this is manifesting is really irrelivent; whether the one has realization by way of Bill Harris or Sam or anyone else listening/reading or whatever it matters because the one evolves, and the whole being feels good because the one is realizing that which I am. And also for me this makes things a lot easier because I don’t have to always focus on what Sam wants or needs, or what I feel that Sam is lacking, because I can rest in the awareness that all is one (from a particular perspective) and actually am more and more able to be free and open with the people around me because they are perhaps the one I am also and don’t necessarily judge me unless I judge myself. This shift of awareness from looking from the perspective of many looking at the one to the one observing the many still has to integrate for me however I find it quite useful for understanding because it’s my one individual perspective attempting to recognize the perspective of the many, however the center of being has no form recognized as Sam or Bill Harris or anybody although it is through everything that exists at the same time. What I mean is that there’s no reason to try to control everything and this is no longer a problem for me as the one, because I can more clearly see when me as Sam is trying to control out of a feeling of lack of power due to the power somehow being given to the many by somebody much bigger than me. All of this power stuff becomes irrelivent because there’s no need for personal power to manifest things or whatever; the tools created by this matrix are very useful in their own right, however as the one I have no need for them. I don’t want to go on too long here talking about matrixes and stuff.

    I’ve recognized this “it” from a very early age and have always tended to seak people who I perceived to have it, and I can’t quite explain how this manifests as the way for me; it’s as if those who have it are the manifestation of the way, and I can somehow recognize those who are an embodiment of the way although I don’t know what that is. I’ve had flashes of intuition about the path leading up to this which I’m sure didn’t come from me, although I’m not sure where they came from, things which when I hear something about Buddhism I suddenly have a flashback to one of these dream sceenes and I understand what they’re talking about. This sudden intuition thing comes with much cultivation, although the foundation for this came naturally without any training on emptiness etc, and I’m quite sure that with what you’re doing here with this blog you’re helping to bring this sort of awareness out of me. And when I look from the perspective of the one looking upon the many I can tell that many have had similar experiences (meaning that I’m not that special) and that up until now there’s been no way to talk about or resonate with that sort of inate wisdom, which is why I really appreciate your efforts to make this sort of thing known. And I also imagine that somehow you deeply resonate with this sort of thing because from my observation it seems that you’re coming out a lot more in these posts, as if you’re really making an effort to stretch yourself out to make space for the learnings to flurrish. I’m really proud of what you’re taking on here, and what you’re doing to help us deepen our practices and come to ever greater realization about our true self. This is something that we need nowadays, sort of like a sword of truth that helps to cut through the illusions of what we thought was spirit into finding our own spirit through the perceived darkness of our world. It’s easy to become jaded due to all the ignorance around personal growth and things of a spiritual nature and often times one feels helpless in that one can never find the way to where one wants to be, however I have the hope of achievement that we will pursurveer and create a new vision of what it means to be enlightened. You’re helping to lay the path down so that we can walk across it. I want to be like you when I grow up. Maybe not exactly the one that is Bill Harris like wearing your head or a Bill Harris power shirt or anything like that (although perhaps a future marketing idea) but close enough.

  43. Don says :

    Bill, what were you doing when you had the big bang experience? I bet you weren’t really doing anything. I had an experience that was life changing when I was 9 years old. I am now 59 and use your book, Thressholds of the Mind, as my belief reference. I had been Baptized 2 weeks earlier and nothing changed but I was just sitting on my bike in the Memphis Country Club parking lot. I was gazing at Sounthern Ave Baptist Church when bam – it hit me. I realized everybody was just faking it. I came back to this non- reality in about 3 weeks because I felt so alone and I thought I was going crazy. I have been stuck here in this hell off and on – ever since. I did have another experience after attending a 3 day Empowering Transformation Workshop with Peter Ralston – who has it and knows how to keep it. His technique is like peeling away your layers through self expression with diads. After his ETW work shop – my wife and I drove home from Berkeley to Fremont and we both noticed that 45 minutes passed as only seconds. When we got home – she began to cry. I ask her why she was crying and she said, “I know this won’t last.” His description of “it” is “I am nothing, but nothing is a good thing.” Peter said he also experienced that we all are it. His experience came after comtemplating “who am I”. He said, he didn’t have his experience until after the workshop and his friend watched him physically change instantly – he told Peter – “you better go look in the mirror.” His teaching method is very hard because you have do the work yourself and let go of your fears and overcome your self consciousness. Seek and yea shall find, knock and the door shall be open. Who you really are is not who you think you are –
    so quit thinking, ha!

    I studied and now teach this abstract force called electricity. I studied for many years and one day – bam – the light bulb came on. It all made sense in a split second – so I know but teaching someone else takes their desire to seek the knowing. I can only point the way and give them experiments to try to have this knowing – they have be determined to stick with it till they get it. When you can’t describe it – you have trouble getting someone else to get it – as you say – “focus on what you want” but as you climb the ladder make sure its against the right wall. A college degree cost a hell of a lot of denario and a 3 day seminar costs a hell of alot to keep up with the latest technologies. Bertrand Russel said in his book “Conquest of Happiness” that we should “get a job” – ha

  44. rosario says :

    Dear Bill,
    I see contradiction in your teaching, please help me to clear it.

    You said: how can you have “x” by your own efforts when there really is no separate you ?
    “You” don’t exist. You are only a concept.
    It is an illusion and because it is an illusion You can’t do nothing.
    It is one big process,
    ONE LIFE living through everything
    (the law of caos and reorganization at higher level).

    Then you said: you can have whatever you want in life,
    1.focus on what you want,
    2.ask how can I get it ?
    3.take massive action.


    If I exist I can focus, questions and take actions.
    If I don’t exist I can’t do nothing.

    Thank you for the answer.
    ROSARIO (Italy)

    FROM BILL: Just because there is no separate self doesn’t mean than nothing happens. Doing happens, but without there being a “you” to do it. The organism you associate with you (you being an idea, but not the reality) has a nervous system, which learns and response to stimuli. It can respond to someone saying focus on what you want, for instance. For that to happen does not require a “you.” “You” is just an idea, and ideas can’t do anything. That there is a separate you is a delusion. That actions happen, or that responses happen, is not.

  45. Chris says :

    Sorry but all this spiritual insight has not done me one bit of good. I still hate life and wish I were dead but hurray when I die i get to rest as some ever present witness. I feel the whole thing is one big cosmic joke but I’m not laughing. At times it all seems like BS philosophy and that there really is no escape from this dull boring and miserable situation we find ourselves in. I would like to be more enthusiastic about life but it just isn’t happening for me.

    FROM BILL: Chris, your reaction to the world and your place in it comes from you. If you are miserable, there are things you do inside, unintentionally and unconsciously, that create your feelings, behaviors, and the kinds of situations and people you find yourself with. The key to moving from “wishing you were dead” (which is where I was at one point) to having a fulfilling life involves becoming aware of how you’re creating your response to life and watching yourself do it. This means being aware of and watching the internal processes that create your life. Awareness will cause you to stop doing what does not serve you. Your way of doing this internal stuff was learned when you were growing up. You have the internal processes of someone who was traumatized or abused in some way. The way your internal processes work will continue to create the misery you’re experiencing as long as they continue to operate unconsciously and automatically. If you become aware of them, and see how you’re creating misery, you’ll stop doing it. You’ll stop created crappy feelings, and you’ll stop attracting crappy situations and people. I did it, and if I can do it, you can, too.

  46. Jacki says :

    Hey Bill
    This has been interesting reading all the responses and reactions to your post. It sparked a question that I would love to get your input on. I only have my own experience to draw from and I have found that the more I let go the simpler things (seem ) to be. I definitely notice when I am in an expanded (open) or contracted (resisting) state. My question is, Do you experience any difference between what some call emptiness and what I would call, not being identified with anything? From my own experience when I am aware, I am open and it feels expanded, I am very present to respond to what’s happening around me in a more direct way. And then there is being identified with things, which is contracting and reacting and we all know what that feels like and how limiting that is.

    FROM BILL: In the transcendent you are it all (or, rather, you see that this is the case–you’re always the all, whether or not you see it). At the same time you are not identified with it.

    Being human (by the way) means sometimes being expanded and sometimes being contracted. Most people are trying to get rid of being contracted. Be human, which includes both.

  47. Sam says :

    I’m wondering if perhaps you can comment a bit more on the changes you experienced recently due to your dropped off body-mind experience, particularly with respect to how you say your life has been changed forever. I’ve come in contact with a similar type of teaching wherein once one comes in contact with the center of being where everything is one and one experiences being through everything at the same time one is changed forever. I can’t quite explain it but it’s as if one finds a balance between the intense gravitational pull of the earth and the brilliance of the high potency electrical energy of the sun, and you find yourself akin to being a bridge between the pull of the plannet and the energy of the sun. It’s as if one experiences being the link between heaven and earth, and one’s personal problems look very small and insignificant in comparison. Of course we still have to read our lines and sing our songs and all of that, however one’s purpose for living becomes much more expanded. Also the field of learning becomes more of a cooperative thing wherein those who choose to participate will very soon be involved in a sort of web wherein everyone feels very close to one another, and the only competition which exists is constructive competition wherein the one strives to evolve its many manifestations. This high level of intelligence which we’re discussing here has no time for power games and all of that nonsense, and those of you on this blog who like to bitch about your own life or about how the people around you aren’t fitting what you think they should be just won’t get it and will be left to try and figure it out by logic etc and will circle forever. I still have a remnent of this within myself, so I am quite respectful and compassionate for that part of the self which is having a hard time, however once you contact this center of being you don’t care about any of that because your purpose isn’t just about your personal self anymore.

    At any rate I’d love to hear more of your articulation of what’s happening here, because I think you’re doing a great job in an area where there’s not many people willing to stand between what’s perceived as the spirit and the vastly differing world of the everyday. Perhaps you can have fun with this and make another blog post about your experience, because (and I only speak for myself when I say this) the courage you have in putting your own experience out there is a great model for the rest of us that have these experiences to believe that such things are possible. After this type of expanded learning is reinforced enough this will become common place and the free market will get rid of all of the ones who aren’t cerious. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I articulate how awesome it is to hear your experience of emptiness because that shows that enlightenment is possible on an individual basis. And being a fish for a while can be fun as well, if you haven’t tried it; just know how to unhook yourself for God’s sake, and don’t blame the fisherman when you get hooked on the same hook over and over because you’re too lazy to go check out the new stream that some other rare fish told you about.

    I don’t want to go on at length here (focusing on what I don’t want gets me what?) however this whole fish thing reminds me of a story in Buddhism wherein there was a turtle who lived with a school of fish. One day the turtle decided to get out of the water and go for an exploration of the land surrounding the water probably for about a weak. At any rate when he got back all of the fish were frantic trying to figure out where he had gone, and he tried and tried to explain this dry land stuff to the fish. They asked him lots of questions about the land: can you get wet on the land; can you swim in the dry land; can you breathe it etc. The turtle was at a loss to explain it and, finally getting tired of the fish’s questions which seemed unanswerable, the turtle decided then to go for another walk for another weak. This helps me to understand how previously I was emurced in my internal map of reality and always would try to figure out what was outside. No matter how much Bill tried to teach me nothing made sense, and nothing really clicked for me because I couldn’t figure out how to ask the right questions. It was only when I decided to explore the dry land of emptiness on my own, when I actually went to my center of being for myself, that everything that Bill said to me in the past made more sense and I had one ahah after another laughing at how much I previously had missed. I still have lots of fun playing being a fish and, in some cases, I take the perspective of the many and become a whole school. However I akin many fish to those people who like to complain because teachers aren’t representing for them what they need, however these people will get hooked over and over again without realizing that they’re getting hooked and complaining about how the hooks don’t satisfy them. If you aren’t content where you are then make plans to change–perhaps catch a ride with the slow-paced turtle and learn a thing or two about trying to hurry all the time–but don’t complain about how the nice new shiny fishing lewer didn’t give you what you were promissed. Some fish–like me–end up somehow getting the bate anyway and get themselves unhooked pretty easily, but still continue to get hooked and don’t bitch about it.

    Sorry; I don’t know where I’m going with this because I seem to be swimming in circles. I just need a school to hook up with perhaps, or perhaps get my own together. Keep up the good work though, and thanks for putting up with my ramblings. I hope that, rather than just putting my shadow out here, that I’m one of those who seems to take this ceriously and is interested in learning.

  48. alison says :

    hi bill,
    i just love drinking the water, that i’m in. thanks for letting me remember i am in it and of it!
    when i save up some more, on to the next level of holosync.
    i feel better and breathe deeper.
    much love

  49. Money Play says :

    That’s awesome Bill, that you had that experience and that you’re continuing to have new, more profound experiences… I’ve had an experience before where I consciously chose to “take the leap” and in which I bounced back up a mile, but only an experience, not a shift. :(

    Lately I have been having fluctuations between totally not caring about anything, and REALLY caring about everything. I’m starting to see that the path you have spoken of where one becomes completely blissful and “stinks of Zen” and then totally falls back into the Game of Life might not always be a 100% completely linear one… haha, but what do I know?

    Awesome post Bill, I look forward to your blog posts more than any other thing each month.

  50. Alemenia Mclean says :

    HiBill I really had a ah! on this blog, just the other day I was bent over the bed tucking in the sheet for the hundreth time and I hit me. I was attached to this activity, because I love to make my bed before I go to work. I also make everyone else’s bed because I love to come home at the end of the day to a clean home, organized home. I was thinking own my way to work about not having any thing to get or be or do. I do it becaues I like to do it. I love to drive in quite to work each morning. I like to stop at my favorite coffee shop and pick up a cup for me and my friend at work. I love to laugh and talk to my self on the way to work about the Excellerated expander course. or Holosync or, sing or, cry because I remember a time when I was fearful that I couldn’t pay the bills, and the kids and I would be homeless. and I jumped from crazy relationship to the other feeling guilty for living like that in front of my children like that. as I scaned back over my life its been a process thats getting better, because I know more, I have more experience and I am aware that I am the creatior of my human exerience, the voices still play in my mind from the past, but most of them are like old friends sure they don’t always treat you the best but hopefully when they learn and grow they will do better, as I have. I hope this blog finds you and you family well. Thanks for the AH!

  51. Alemenia Mclean says :

    IHi Bill I remember when I was little girl. I could tell the most outlandish unbeleivable stories. I went through a period where I just wouldn’t shut up. Even as I played by myself my mom said I always seamed to be playing with someone else. I grew up like that. I still have this unending verb line, sometimes shutting other thing, people etc. out just to play and fantsise. Every things seamed to be just for fun even when it seamed I should be serious or conform, I refused I have for as long as I can remember played this game oh its not all that serious and I seams to work for me. I designated a time when I would have my as I called them then adult thoughts ( I chose 2 am in the morning I would was exactly at 2 am give or take a minute. I would cry out, I would nash my hands together, grind my teeth, think about all the awful stuff that could posibally happen. and then about 2 20 0r so I would say ok thats enough of that, go to sleep you have a big day ahead of you tomorrow. I has sustained me and I could not seep how I did it until I started paying real attention to my internal dialog. the results I was getting, your insightful blogs. I think If I ever saw you face to face I would just faint, whether for dramatic effect. Just because you have changed my life so much. I love you ‘
    Bill Harris.

  52. Thanks Bill,

    As I see it now, I would say that the description of the integration between relative and transcendent is complete RESPONSIBILITY.

    What I mean is that knowing there is no separate self (other than in our minds) means that there is no one to be victimized by God, life or others. So in fact what is happening to “me” is my own doing. Then I see that I am the creator of my life moment by moment.

    So if I am frustrated because of my seeking I can see that I AM creating the frustration, that seeking is PRECISELY the frustration, I am playing the game unconsciously. There is no frustration “out there”, I am creating it with my seeking, what a dumb game. (But we can make it fun too)

    Also is important to say that even after the realization of no – self. We still have tons of shadows and dysfunctional behaviors. I say this because when it happened to me I thought I had everything figured out, but it turns out I didn’t.

    So I started asking myself if I should do more holosync, but always said something like “I shouldn’t need to do that, I realized emptiness”. Well, I was playing another unconscious game. The truth is that I still do things that make me suffer without knowing how. So I ordered Awakening 1, and I see that now is actually MORE powerful, because the unconscious material that comes up is much more easily allowed to surface and rapidly dealt with. Holosync is really a gift to the world.

    I heard you say that you don’t use Holosync anymore, and that Genpo uses the highest levels and no resistance comes up.

    I would say that requires A LOT of awareness.

    I believe with the available technology the highest level is as deep as you can go. Maybe with new quantum technology you can create even deeper holosync levels, are you researching about that ?

    Well, I would say that even if there is nothing to get (or maybe because there is nothing to get) there is something very amazing, beautiful and mysterious about life that makes it worth living, and I have to say that Holosync and your teachings really help in seeing that.

    All the love and gratitude,


  53. Laura Zimmermann says :

    It’s a shame with all your enlightenment you continue to choose to charge such outrageous prices. Greed is ugly.

    FROM BILL: Easy solution to any time you think a price is too high: don’t buy.

  54. Brit says :

    Hi again Bill. You said it. Been experiencing your post for some time. While sweet you reaffirmed that it is time to rejoin the faces and places around me and give um’ all I got. Like you said, what else would you do? Thank you so much.

  55. Jacki says :

    Hello Bill

    Thank you for your reply to my earlier question. I am commenting on part of your reply which was “Being human means sometimes being contracted and sometimes being expanded. Be human, which includes both” I would agree that being human can include both and the transcendent is both. But isn’t self awareness an expanding energy, isn’t it consciousness expanding to the wholeness of universal consciousness? Isn’t it reflecting back on itself to know itself and what appears within itself? Does self awareness include unawareness. shadows, separation, resistance? I just want to be clear on what we are talking about and trying to communicate hear.

    FROM BILL: You got it. Awareness does include unawareness, shadows, separation, and resistance. Even in full enlightenment, even in full awareness, you cannot escape from the human condition, which includes all of these (and more).

  56. Cassandra says :

    Hi Bill,

    You talk about focusing on what you want rather than moving away from, but aren’t you doing both simultaneously? There isn’t too much in the world that I must have…except quiet and a home. But I find myself having to move way to often because either noisy neighbors, barking dogs, etc. I think I’m focusing on a quiet, peaceful place to live, but I also know that I want to avoid noise. Whoa, as I write this I see I am literally moving away from! Yikes! What to do…I am soooo noise sensitive. Help!

    At times I also feel at one with the universe, as if I’ve stepped out of this dimension, but also feel separate and the list goes on.

    I always appreciate and highly regard your insights.


    FROM BILL: I’m not saying that you SHOULD focus on what you want. I’m merely pointing out the consequences of focusing on what you want and the consequences of focusing on what you don’t want, and suggesting that you become aware of when you are doing one or the other, and what consequences are being created. Do people frequently focus on what they don’t want? Sure. And, if they do it automatically, without seeing that the consequences are created by something they DO, they will keep experiencing those same consequences. If they do it with awareness, seeing how they are creating the consequences, they have choice.

  57. Jenny says :

    All of this make sense Bill but my real question is when enough is enough? Does that mean you won’t be sending us any junk mail and special offers anymore since you’ve experienced emptiness? no more cross promotion with your Gurus friend? I have good results with Holosync no question about that but it’s the other side of you Bill I don’t trust….always the almighty $$$$…why not give the proceed to charity for once?


    P.S. I’m doing well financially so don’t give me the money guilt crap..look elsewhere for my sour post…

    FROM BILL: I would never give you any “money guilt crap,” because I have no idea what that means, but you obviously have some unresolved stuff around money and trust.

    By the way, as long as we’re talking about charity, last year I gave $650,000 to charities that help kids and also serve on boards of such organizations. How much did you give to charity, given that you are doing so well financially?

    Also, I am NOT paid for promoting other people’s products–and I don’t suggest anything to Centerpointe people unless I believe it provides the promised benefits. Whether you want the promised benefits, or whether you think the price is worth it, is, of course, up to you.

    If I knew about something that might help you with a problem you have, or might give you a benefit you want, and I didn’t tell you about it, what would you think of me?

    Finally, every cent I make comes from people who buy something from me that they want–and from which they benefit. They buy voluntarily, because they want to. Because of the money Centerpointe makes 33 people have jobs, and who knows how many jobs are made possible among the many vendors Centerpointe uses.

    Am I a businessman? Guilty. Do I do my best to skillfuly describe the benefits of what I sell so that people like you will want it? I sure do. Do I hope to make as much money as possible? You bet. Do I do it by doing the best I can to provide value to our customers? Absolutely. Do I, in fact, try to over-deliver on what I’ve promised? Yes, I do. Do I feel good about making a living helping people have a better life? Absolutely.

    Other than cheating people, the only way to make money is to provide something that people want or need. The amount of money I make is directly proportional to the amount of value I provide, and judging by the success of Centerpointe, there must be a lot of value in what we offer. Perhaps your question should be, “When is enough value enough?” You have a choice about whether you buy something, or even look at the advertising we send. So tell me, where is the problem, other than in your mind?

    Of course the feelings you have about this don’t say something about you, and I’m not suggesting that you look at your own trust and money issues. You might want to read my blog post about shadows. It’s free, as are many of the things we provide.

  58. Kelly Carlin-McCal says :


    Great stuff as always. I love your articulation of things that I too am in the middle of experiencing right now. I’ve been immersed in Genpo Roshi’s Zen Eye the last few weeks. I love that you are really bringing forth the double-bind aspect of the journey. It seems to be the next step for many of us who have been seekers forever. It is really quite profound when you get that even grasping the transcendent is still grasping!

    As far as the money talk, I highly recommend Roshi’s talk called The Secular, The Spiritual and Big Mind. He really hones in on the shadow of the spiritual pov especially around money.

    Kelly Carlin-McCall

  59. Nina Potter says :

    Thanks Bill!
    I have had that experience twice in my life and live every day trying to remember who I really am. I try to help others remember who they really are (me – haha!) too. I was in a bit of a funk tonight because I had forgotten when I came across your post and marveled at how I could stumble upon exactly the right message at the time I needed it (happens a lot).

    I got so carried away with it that I read all the other posts too and was I ever pleased to be turned on to the MindBridge site by Nancy! I had been thinking about Bruce Lipton’s work on cells and evolution and was delighted to once again stumble upon something I was in need of.

    I see now that a good blog writer will attract good posters and much fun will come of it all and I’m no longer in a funk but in a state of love and compassion once again.

    Thanks All of You (even if you don’t remember)!

  60. Allen G says :

    As always, a very insightful post, thank you. I get what you are saying. Unfortunately, I get it mostly on an intellectual basis, and only very fleetingly on a deeper more profound basis. I think that the trouble that I have with this issue is life itself. I have a family that needs food, clothing and a roof. Children that need to go to college. All other reasons and obligations that cause a person “to seek and go after something”. I know that you do not advocate sitting in a cave in the mountains and meditating 24 hours a day. Where I always get confused is how the “nothingness” interacts and relates to “living”. How does a person “not seek” yet still has the motivation to set and achieve goals that MUST be done in order to live. Is this part of Genpo’s triangle? As always thanks, and I look forward to your next post.

    FROM BILL: You’ve hit on the very essence of Zen Buddhism–the integration of the transcendent (the emptiness) and the relative. (You might go read my posts, The Five Stages of Enlightement and THere You Are, Enlightened, where I discuss this very thing.)

    At first people are caught in the relative world which, as you know, involves this and that, here and there, separation, impermanence, and plenty of suffering. When someone has an experience of the transcendence (which I described as emptiness in this post) they experience a huge relief from all the problems of the relative. The transcendent is so seductive that people want to stay there, and sometimes succeed in doing so for a while.

    But here we are in the relative world, which DOES involve cause and effect and impermanence, and though it SEEMS as if the transcendent provides an escape, that is an illusion. Sooner or later the relative rears its head and you are faced with how to live in the relative while you also know (experientially) the transcendent.

    In Zen the highest achievement is sometimes referred to as “Ordinary Mind is the Way.” You may have heard Zen sayings about this: “Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.” Or (more complete, because it includes the stage when you’re in the transcendent), “When I was new to Zen, rivers were rivers and mountains were mountains. Then, when I had attained the transcendent, rivers were no longer rivers, and mountains were no longer mountains. Finally (once this integration of the relative and transcendent was achieved) rivers were once again rivers and mountains were once again mountains.”

    In Zen they acknowledge that all the problems of being human are insoluable. Suffering is inevitable because of cause and effect, which you cannot escape, and because of impermanence, which you also cannot escape. (See my post called There’s No Escape.) Most human activities are really ways to distract oneself from impermance and suffering, to pretend that there is a solution, or to deny that impermanence exists. An experience of the transcendence almost always becomes yet another way to think you’ve found permanent relief from it all.

    In fact, human development is a series of stratgies for dealing with these truths about the human condition. (Again, see the series of posts at the beginning of the blog about the stages of human developmental.) Each strategy works until it doesn’t work–at some point if enough personal experience undermines your current strategy you will have to create another, and humans go through the same stages in doing this: magical thinking, mythic thinking (the magical powers are in some “other” rather than in me), rational, pluralistic, and integral. Most people stop somewhere along the way because the strategy used at that stage works well enough that they are never pushed to the next level. There are many naming systems and many ways of slicing this, but all are strategies for dealing with the problem of how the hell to be a human, given the fact of impermanence and other sources of suffering. Each strategy works until it doesn’t.

    Zen is a non-strategy for dealing with all of this in the sense that it doesn’t try to escape, but rather acknowledges what IS. Ironically, in doing this you are free to be alive now, and to face death when it comes. And, as I said, the pinnacle of Zen is the integration of transcendent and relative. This includes seeking, but the seeking happens with the awareness that whatever you seek isn’t going to “save you” from cause and effect and impermanence. Seeking from this perspective happens because it happens, because that’s what people do–but without the angst and delusion (and ultimate disappointment) seeking usually entails. (Seeking, of course, has it’s fun side, too.)

  61. carlos says :

    I think many people who are after “enlightment” totally disowned money because money represents everything that is mundane and base , things like material possesions, sex , power and specially social status.

    Many of these people look down on business people , they look down on people with a lot of money but guess what , they still WANTED. They want the money and they want all the mundane things that the money provides . They just PRETEND they dont.


  62. Wizwingrower says :

    I have mused over the issue of you becoming comfortable and it’s parallel to Buddha and his cousin who became disenchanted with Buddha enjoying a less stoic existance. Buddha refused to communicate with his cousin who was fixated with the small benefits that came with fame. The cousin became so obsessed with issues that were not important that he eventually met a frightening end. Hm be caeful Steve W ! And Bill please do not loose your hair and become very overweight, we like you how you are!

  63. Michaela says :

    Hi Bill

    Another great post. Thank you for giving your time and knowledge so freely to those of us who do appreciate and benefit from it and to those of you hung up on the whole money aspect, plain and simple, nobody is asking you to buy anything, the choice is always yours so please leave the blog for the intention that Bill created it for.
    I think I have had glimpses of what you are talking about and have realised,at least intellectually, that I’ve been searching for something that I already am. The whole doubt thing still confuses me a little, when we’ve been taught that to experience God we have to have faith. It is not knowing what we are but becoming aware of it.
    Thanks again.

  64. Michaela says :

    p.s. Bill, I forgot to say I love the fact you’re not afraid to show that you’re human. For me that’s what makes you such a great teacher.

  65. Lisa says :


    You really are funny, you made me laugh out loud at a time when I do not have this experience much currently.

    It was delicious, hilarious and totally bridget jones meets buddha meets wayne dyer ….. i don’t know. You just get it and for the first time in a long time that made me laugh.

    thank you and bless you

  66. Tanmayee says :


    I have been reading Bill Harris blog for some time.Brought holosync but not using consistently but very soon plan to reorganize my schedule so that I can use it daily as I believe in its worth.
    Thanks for Bill for his wonderful prodcts and blog
    I am upset about people blaming Bill for his pricing or aggressive marketing.
    We buy so many products. you don’t decide the price or marketing of car you drive or perfume you use. you don’t control pricing or marketing of any product you use unless you make it for yourself.

    what makes anybody think that they can tell Bill Harris how to run his business and how to market his products? Is it because anything related to spiritual development is expected to be run in a different way?

    Unlike most other products we use which don’t add or enhance intrinsic value, Bill harris products can add value and make one a better person.

    If you don’t like what he is doing, as Bill himself mentioned you can go to other places which there are many instead of trying to assert ur opinions on him.

    this is my opinion.

  67. Terry HS says :

    Yes the sniping personal attacks on Bill are now getting a little dull.

    Many of us get tremendous value from these posts and appreciate the fact that Bill freely gives his extremely valuable personal time to help us with our growth and development.

    Please can those of you who resent his success stop posting in the blog. It really is a waste of time for everyone here who is serious about their development.

  68. rosario says :

    Dear BILL,
    You said: Just because there is no separate self doesn’t mean than nothing happens. Doing happens, but without there being a “you” to do it. The organism you associate with you (you being an idea, but not the reality) has a nervous system, which learns and response to stimuli. It can respond to someone saying focus on what you want, for instance. For that to happen does not require a “you.” “You” is just an idea, and ideas can’t do anything. That there is a separate you is a delusion. That actions happen, or that responses happen, is not.

    so my questions is:
    is LIFE living through the body named “rosario” that is FULFILLING its PURPOSE or “I” (the illusion) have the power to choose and create everything “I” desire ?

    A BIG HUG.


    FROM BILL: Living things learn and adapt so they can respond to the environment. They are, in fact intimately tied to their environment–a unified field, one thing. There is, however, no separate agent (an “I”) that responds INDEPENDENTLY of the environment. It’s all one big continuous event, and all divisions are conceptual. Saying that there is a separte you that has a purpose would be like saying that a wave on the ocean moves or has a purpose separate from the entire ocean.

  69. Solcarina says :

    Hi Bill,

    Thank You so much…)for sharing your informative information.

    I love your blog, read and smile for myself.

    Dance with the life.

    Sending love and light, beauty and Joy.


  70. rosario says :

    Dear BILL,
    all the lessons of the internal map of reality (nlp, ect.), course 1, are only a STRATEGY as yuo said “to take people to the point where there is no alternative but to experience and believe that:
    1. there is no “I” that can do anything
    2. It’s all one big continuous event
    is that right ?

    FROM BILL: No, that is not what I am saying. If you investigate your internal process and become aware enough of who they are creating your life you will quite likely begin to wonder, “Gee, if what I though was “reality” depends upon what I do inside my head, then what is THE reality?” Becoming aware of your internal processes and how they create your life is, of course, very valuable in…creating your life.

  71. Sam says :

    Have you ever dealt with the subject of remote viewing with respect to holosync? They’re talking about something called the “sub-space mind” which is sort of like what we experience in the emptiness which has become important lately. They say that there is a connection–in computers they call this a bus–between the electronic super computer represented by our brain (much more understandable when enhanced by holosync or other technologies) and this sub-space mind which for us represents the soul or what some feel now as emptiness. There is another possible “bus” or connection between this sub-space mind and our brain which fascilitates shared perceptual data and a seeming information transfir however we don’t know right now how this type of enhanced information transfir from one consciousness to another–like a download–is possible in the real world. I’ve noticed that it’s quite difficult to get my conscious mind out of the way such that I can get a direct experience of this emptiness or sub-space mind, and most of the time what’s perceived as “emptiness” is just another internal representation of something we don’t quite yet understand, however when I get the conscious mind out of the way I do experience emptiness as the one and witness that what’s perceived has a very distinct flavor to it; at first this felt “other-worldly” to the separate self. I’ve noticed these perceptions when I first started using holosync, and now with remote viewing I’m finding that I can actually start constructing a map of these phenomina at which point a whole new set of experiences open up to me and emurces the separate self in a higher level of emptiness; whether or not this holon representing emptiness reorganizes such that we don’t change back to our previous form isn’t really up to me, or any other personal self, however we’ll soon see.

    While I recognize here that there is most certainly a separate self which has an agentic impulse to create the future the way I want it to be–the world gets better each day and each day I act more in concert with the fellowship of others rather than ruminating what’s either wrong with me or the world–I recognize the idea that in most cases there seems to be no separate self. As a matter of fact there are schools in buddhism which look at this from different perspectives, and depending upon what’s required for enlightenment both sides of the coin are seen in situations appropriate for such. At any rate I was reading some of the other comments posted on this blog post, and I felt an intense sadness welling up inside of me that I couldn’t explain. I was reading one post after another and feeling the pain of the people, and had an intense desire to help them understand that everything’s fine once one goes outside to a neighbor and gets another perspective on their situation besides the one that one is convinced of, however I wondered who is really feeling this pain. I don’t really despair about my life much anymore, because my life is no longer about Sam but about how we’re going to help turn this “pain body” or whatever into something motivating to people to help them provide value to the world, however I couldn’t remain detached in the way that remote viewing (or your courses) teach one to do. I found myself unable to focus on what I want regarding others suffering, and I find that somehow stuff sticks to me and there seems to be no way out. I know that I can releace my own pain with practices I’ve learned, however I feel guilty for doing so when others suffer and don’t have a way out. To the separate Sam self this makes no sense, however when one becomes one with this “pain body” one can’t help but get mired in it and one needs a practice like remote viewing to get an outside perspective on this situation.

    I’ll be at the weekend in Kolorado and perhaps some personal experimentation with this will help us better understand what’s going on. We need a structured way–like Big Mind or remote viewing or perhaps other form of meditation–to fit all of this chaos; to fit the chaos into a new mold which will help us suffer less, and so that we can “wear” our strong personallity in the face of whatever chaos comes up to help each other get along in the world. I think that if we could get a few dedicated people working on desolving this pain body that so many holosync users seem to suffer from then so many people would be benifited, and if we dedicate ourselves to whatever dharma’s needed here then it would be incrediblly easy to suthe the suffering of these people that it would be great loss if we don’t. With all that we have available to us we are incredibly lucky because we have access to information that could quite literally change the face of the planet to one where we all can live in prosparity and joy, and those who don’t get how lucky they are–and how much of an advantage they have over previous generations which don’t have our access to information– need to be taught that their lives get better by making their world a better place and taking responceability for the process. Do it as a personal favor to me, rather than to yourselves, and I’ll be sure to pay you back a thousandfold; with love and light and all of that for real this time. I’m talking about a higher level of the law of attraction, wherein the cinicism of previous generations is recycled into a new form which shows me wear I’m going wrong here like a fish swimming upstream.

    Going back to that bus between the emptiness of the unconscious mind and the conscious mind, we have all of this powerful computing power just waiting to be utilized with the connection being analogous to a 1930’s phone line connecting one to the other. If we could get ten percent of the holosync population focused on doing shadow work, the connection would increase to that of a T3 connection and we could all breathe a collective sigh of relief. I’m not sure if anyone is interested in what I have to say–I’ll have to talk to Ken at this upcoming cemenar and get a lot of these ideas lagittimized–but after reading some of the comments on here my heart feels that something needs to be done about the polution known as the shadow; I feel insane right now and there’s nobody to help me, and I’m really really afraid that it’s just the insanitty of a seeming separate self that doesn’t exist? Am I the only one feeling this? Is there anybody out there, anybody home or awake to what we need to do for our world to heal this polution? Is it just me–this seeming separate agent–who’s worried about polution that doesn’t exist? Is it all really empty inside? Do I really need to bitch about this polution and how eventually this polution–like a cancer–will choak our plannet to death, or should I just go along (get it) for the ride because I can do nothing about it? I already know that this will have little to no impact–with what I can tell from my now narrowly focused perspective–however one has to be willing to try because there is no other separate self to take care of this place we call home.

    By the way you can now sign up for my cemenar on line, but only if you act now and act by the way. The great way is not difficult, it just avoids picking and choosing the separate self who’s going to fix this, however sometimes it’s time for the separate self to recognize that the great way’s not about difficulty but rather about what needs doing.

  72. Sam says :

    PS: I won’t write in again if there’s no change because I have to prepare for this weakend; I’m sure everyone on here’s saying “thank god” or something.

  73. Nancy says :

    Hi Bill,

    During my study of epigenetics, I found some articles that cite epigenetic changes as a cause of autism. They said that there are changes in the brain stem that affect the ability to interpret visual data. I was thinking, about Holosync which enhances the users building of neurons, and the users bilateral integration, and reduces stress (which sends a person’s resources to the brain stem rather than to the frontal lobes). Wouldn’t Holosync be helpful in treating autism?

    Just wondering. Thank, Nancy

    FROM BILL: I suspect so, as several parents and people who work with autistic kids has sent me letters describing some quite remarkable positive effects, but so far no one has done any research on this. I would be more than happy to provide Holosync to a group involved in the treatment of autism so we can gather some more sophisticated information on what would happen.

  74. Thanks Bill,

    I have two separate issues I’d like to address. The letting go of the transcendent, and free will.

    I gotta admit that letting go of the transcendent hasn’t been easy. After all this search and finally “getting it”, to see it slip away (that feeling of being untouchable) is painful.

    It’s a hard hit for the ego, to see that I’m just a regular guy (yes, I am everything, I know, but that doesn’t save me from fear and anxiety sometimes), I realize that there is no me that suffers, there is just suffering without the need for a me that experiences it. In that sense there is no separation, but the suffering is still there.

    I think the hardest thing is the feeling of going back to square one, it’s like being deluded again, just that now I am more aware of my delusion (although never completely aware of it).

    Now on a different subject; you say that there is free will but there is no one to exercise it. I don’t know. I mean, every actions starts with a thought. And there is no choosing of them. There can be an awareness of a destructive thought and it’s consequences, yes. But there is no standing back and seeing two thoughts at the same time to pick the best one, they just come in sequence and there is no choosing them before they appear.

    So the fact that you went form being where you were to where you are, was it really a choice or just a stream of thoughts (without choosing) that got you there ?.

    I hope I made my point, is not easy to communicate this ;)

    All the love,


    PD, I have an autistic brother and will communicate with the institute that treats him (and his peers) to see if they can do a research with Holosync. My mom told me once that he liked listening to it.

    FROM BILL: I don’t think you need to let of of the transcendent (how could you, anyway?–and who would do it?) as much as realize that the transcendent will not save you, or anyone else, from suffering. You seem to be in a process of realizing that this is the case.

    As I look back on it, my post about there being no escape (from cause and effect and impermanence) was too detached. Lately I’ve had a much deeper embodiment of the real pain involved with that realization–as I think is happening to you. This is the difference between getting it intellectually and really getting it.

    Yes, every action starts with a thought, and thoughts do come unbidden, one after another. With awareness, however, you begin to better see the potential consequences of each thought, which does have an effect. As I’ve said before, you can’t do something that doesn’t serve you (and others) AND do it with awareness.

    As always, Santiago, there are beautiful realizations. Looking forward to seeing you again, whenever that happens.

  75. Gloria says :

    What a wonderful post! I have been using Holosynch religiously since Nov 2002 plus many, many other self help tools including, now, sitting meditation. At last I am feeling, on a consistent basis, an enthusiasm for life I never thought was possible for me. Bill’s experience shows me that that too is possible for me and I am truly inspired.

    I have found, whenever I have looked deeply and honestly at my own judgements against others, that there is a huge component of jealousy, along with the shame, guilt and grief of the feeling that I am not doing all I could be doing to be all I could be. Fortunately, I have got to the stage where I can now see what utter nonsense that is – my judgements against myself were expressing as judgements towards others – the shadow is cast on others.

    For those who have a problem with charging for spiritual teaching and have a Christian background – read the Gospels and see how Jesus was supported in his ministry. He had a bunch of women who supported him ‘out of their means.’ As he was known to hang with prostitutes and tax collectors one can only imagine how he was funded.

    Now I’ll go and wash my mouth out with soap.

    Thanks, Bill for an enlightening, educational, inspiring and entertaining post.

    FROM BILL: Save some soap for me.

  76. Natasha says :

    Bill, I see you interacting with us, I feel your feelings in your replies and your being human and I really admire and respect you. You could have replied to some people being totally emotionally detached but you chose not to.
    You are a great teacher to all of us.

    All my best,

    FROM BILL: Anyone who says they are totally detached is deluded.

  77. rosario says :

    Dear BILL,
    you said: If you investigate your internal process and become aware enough of who they are creating your life you will quite likely begin to wonder, “Gee, if what I though was “reality” depends upon what I do inside my head, then what is THE reality?” Becoming aware of your internal processes and how they create your life is, of course, very valuable in…creating your life.

    so you say that
    (1) there is an “I”
    (2) this “I” is creating the life with internal processes

    but at the same time you said:
    There is, however, no separate agent (an “I”) that responds INDEPENDENTLY of the environment. It’s all one big continuous event, and all divisions are conceptual. Saying that there is a separte you that has a purpose would be like saying that a wave on the ocean moves or has a purpose separate from the entire ocean.


    am “I” creating my life with my internal processes or is one life living spontaneously through everyone and everything ?


    P.S: Do you suggest to buy the book of robert scheinfeld, I already studied from time, but I see contraddiction because you, jack canfield and other, support robert scheinfeld, but you know what he says ?
    He said:(1) let go of the illusion of wanting to control, change, fix or improve the hologram, or taking massive actions to make things happen or get things done. Let go of goals, agendas, investments in results and outcomes.
    (2) using techiques (principle of success for self-growth, nlp, goal setting, meditation, affirmations, etc.) that attempt to manipulate the holographic illusion doesn’t work. It is a waste of time.

    why do you and jack support robert scheinfeld if he is against your teaching ?

    FROM BILL: As I’ve said many times, there is no separate self who acts independently of the whole. Such a self is an illusion. The whole acts as a unit, and all actions that seem to be individual happen in conjunction with the whole.

    There is a self, however–your idea of who you are. An idea, however, can’t DO anything, and neither can your idea of yourself. Doing, though, happens, as a response of your organism to all the effects around it, in the same way that a water molecule in the ocean constantly responds to the effects of all the other water molecules. In the case of humans, and to a lessor extent with other living things, the organism you equate with “you” (the idea) has a nervous system that learns, so these responses can be quite complex. This does not require a supposedly separate doer, though. Such a separate doer is an illusion created by the mind.

    As for Bob Scheinfeld, I do not sign on to everything Bob is saying. He is describing his experience–and his interpretation of his experience. This brings up another point, though, which is something else I’ve said many times. Don’t believe anything that anyone says unless you validate it yourself, through your own experience. Our culture puts forth the idea that finding out what is “true” involves choosing between various explanations or dogmas (this is a distinct stage of development–see my posts on human development at the beginning of this blog).

    My point of view is that basing what you think is “true” or who you think you are on someone else’s experience is at best incomplete. Other people’s opinions, including mine, might give you some clues that help you in your own investigation, but just buying what others say is like thinking that a book about New York is as good as actually going there.

    So asking what I think of Bob’s ideas is, to me, the wrong question. I’m basing my life on my own experience, and you should, too. If others tell you about something they’ve experienced (the transcendent, for instance, or perhaps an experience that comes after realizing the transcendent), you might use their information to see if you might be able to have a similar experience (just like the book about New York might motivate you to visit New York yourself), but just believing something based on the experience of another is a very incomplete way to live.

  78. Terry HS says :

    Lol! Gloria’s post is classic. Gave me a good laugh. :)

  79. Nancy says :

    Thank Bill, for your response about autism. I will soon be working with the New York City Department of Early Intervention…. They have access to researchers and enough autistic children that a good blind study could be done. I will get back to you then.

    I totally believe in Holosync!

    – Nancy

  80. Sherry B. says :

    I think what I love most (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) is the reflection I get in my mind from interpreting communications from others. In other words — what I see is ME. If I don’t like what others are showing me, either in their behavior or what they are saying then I know that I have an issue to deal with within myself. It seems to me that the biggest issue for folks is that most refuse to take responsibility for the world they create. What you see/experience is what YOU create. It really doesn’t matter what is (or what seems) to be outside of yourself — so stick to your own business and leave everyone else alone. They are as capable as you in every way since there IS only ONE thing.

    Hey! Now didn’t I just teach myself a fine lesson!!!

    Thanks Bill for all you do.

    FROM BILL: A wonderful insight!

  81. Alex says :

    Dear Bill,

    I want to begin by expressing a deep appreciation for the services you provide. In regards to this article, I am left fascinated, but not exactly sure how to make use of the information – if I have this clear, then an intellectual understanding of the subject matter won’t do me much good. Is the purpose of this intellectual knowing to make an experiential knowing more likely to occur? Or have I missed something?

    FROM BILL: To give yourself more of a chance to get all of this experientially, meditate, preferably with Holosync (which is faster and more powerful). I also suggest doing Big Mind, either in person with Genpo Roshi or on DVD (see for opportunities to do this, or come to one of our weekend workshops), and taking my Life Principles Integration Process online courses ( which will help you de-construct your mind (among many other things).

    Intellectual understanding, including my blog posts, rarely stimulates the experiential of emptiness, but it can, and a few people have had awakened experiences, they tell me, while reading some of these posts. This usually doesn’t happen, though. Intellectual understanding, however, can help validate or understand an experience you’ve already had. It can also help you see to some degree the path ahead, so when you get there you better understand what has happened and its significance. And, it can keep you from being deluded or confused by those who talk convincingly about awakening but haven’t had the experience and don’t really know what they are talking about.

    Ken Wilber is fond of saying that enlightement is an accident, but meditation makes you more accident prone. A seeker can spend a lifetime at this stuff without having an awakened experience, and many do–including some people you would assume had to have had such an experience (some respected Buddhist teachers, for instance–unbelievably, the criteria for becoming a teacher often doesn’t necessarily include having had such an experience, though I think it should). Then, of course, there are many self-taught individuals who claim to be enlightened but, not having a teacher, they have no one to confirm their experience, and no feedback from someone who is farther down the path. Often such people are just using “enlightenment” to elevate their egos.

    Having such an awakened experience seems to involve a total doubting of every reference point that keeps you in the world created by your linear mind–your beliefs, your ideas, your concepts, your sense of self, your accomplishments, and so forth. When you really, totally doubt that any of this is going to help you or save you, or that it makes any difference, you could enter into an experience of emptiness. You can visit it briefly in other ways (meditation being the most obvious), but to really become established in it requires what Genpo Roshi calls Great Doubt.

    Great Doubt seems to be easier when you have submitted to an enlightened teacher, since it gives you to faith and trust necessary to go into Great Doubt.

    The problem with Great Doubt as a path to awakening is that you can’t just decide to doubt everything because doing so involves another idea–that doubting everything will create an experience of emptiness. So you’re still clinging to the idea of getting somewhere, of some relief or salvation, this time through Great Doubt, which is yet another barrier. Great Doubt is something that happens, not something you intend to do, and it happens because you’ve really seen (not intellectually, but in your bones) that all of what I listed above really isn’t going to save you–in fact, nothing is.

    Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle are examples of this kind of experience happening spontaneously, without a teacher. Both had a profound experience of emptiness that came out of a place of total despair. Tolle describes this in his first book, if I remember correctly, and Byron Katie describes it in a conversation I recorded with her, which you can find at (a free online course I created with a number of awakened teachers). Katie probably also explains it in one or more of her books, too.

    The down-side to such a spontaneous experience is that without a teacher you can stay stuck in the transcendent because it SEEMS to be an end-point. I discuss this in my posts about The Five Stages of Waking Up, earlier in this blog.

  82. Jason says :

    Hey bill awesome post! I just thought I’d share that knowing I will never find lasting satisfaction due to impermance ironicly has left me feeling a sense of peace… This too shall pass! But Ill continue to strive whilst resting as the witness… Knowing that where I am is where I will always be. I really do feel freed so now I play soft!

  83. Tony Bardon says :

    Hi Bill, Thank you for your blog which as usual I found most helpful. However, you left us on our own when it came to making the transition from seeker to seer. This is the transition that we all want to make and which we find so elusive. Living in Ireland I have not had the luxuary of attending one of your sessions with Genpo Roshi but I have watched a DVD of one week-end and I can see that this is a vilid road. About 10 days ago I attended a workshop given by Richard Lang of Through a series of self-enquiry experiments/exercises devised by the late Douglas Harding, an English Philsopher, everyone in the room ,as far as I am aware, was able to connect with their true self. I paid Richard a compliment by saying that Bill Harris claimed that Big Mind was the fastest road to enlightenmeent that he had come across but that my experience in the workshop suggests that his way which is known as the “Headless Way” was an even faster route. As a very satisfied Holosync user, I am constandly receiving emails from you asking me to try out all manner of goodies from the spiritual marketplace- a service which I appreciate. I am now going to ask you to check out I believe it holds an important piece of the spiritual jigsaw puzzle for the seeker and may be of assistance to many of your followers.

    Best Wishes,


  84. Thanks a lot Bill,

    I agree so much about the benefit of having a teacher, I’ve always been an independent seeker and it has led me to incredible places, but the information you provide has saved me years (and much more suffering) I believe.

    I think it has been similar to you, you seemed to have tried many paths. I am starting to see the importance of a community though, and of a dharma, of an established tradition and hierarchy, instead of just picking and choosing what comes up but not going too deeply into it.

    I think I see what you mean about not having to let go of the transcendent. I think what happened to me was that I started to conceptualize the experience, to freeze it up into “something”, and then I wanted to hang onto that “idea” of the transcendent.

    Last Sunday I saw Genpo on a webminar (I’m pretty sure you know about his sunday talks) and he told a great story about Maezumi Roshi; when asked about what zen was about he said “is about being stupid”. That helped me in seeing where I was stucked.

    After the experience I started to feel “superior”, “better” than the people that hadn’t have it. Although I wouldn’t admit it of course, but it was true, I was full of hidden pride. But realizing that I am the same regular and “stupid” guy is a relief. I started to feel like I “knew” more. But the truth is that I know nothing and pretending otherwise creates suffering.

    I have to say though that is not easy to be humble, I guess we have to experience the pain that pride creates in order to really get it “in our bones” as you say.

    But the realization that nothing will save us is liberating, we don’t have to attach to anything (even the enlightenment experience, or to non-attachment) because we just see the futility of it. Then we are free to live life now.

    I’m really happy with awakening level 1 though, it’s clearing a lot of emotional stuff.

    I hope you realize how many people you have helped and how the world is a better place because of your work.

    Looking forward to see you soon.

    All the love,


    FROM BILL: Another very important realization. You are seeing things very clearly. When this happens, it does make it difficult to realize how truly stupid we really are.

  85. Gary says :

    Bill, I want to thank you for your informative blog and how you have helped so many people.

    Also, thank for putting the complainers in their place! It’s hideous that these idiots should complain about you manifesting what you what. It’s this sort of class envy that is destroying America’s financial structure. (You can’t have this because that would be unfair to all the people who do have anything because they’re too busy complaining about the people who have.)

    You help people and, somehow, drug dealers and politicians can make money can be paid for helping kill people or give empty, meaningless speeches, and somehow you’re not allowed to be paid for supplying and honorable and helpful service.

    The problem with marxism is that its control. Everybody has to do what I say because might makes right. He could work in govenment and be given the option to put the money where his mouth is and refuse all pay, though I don’t believe Mr. Warrilow would be willing to do this.

    I don’t the impression that Sheyla was agreeing with him however. I thought she meant that regarless of one’s beliefs, their love should be beyond that. I thought she was critqueing Steve in the kindest way she knew how.

    Keep up the good work. You know, I actually hope you do more levels. bring on the next four! At least, by the time I get to it. (That’ll be a while.)


  86. rosario says :

    Dear Bill,
    I appreciate yuor passion to help us,
    and I have gratitude for you,
    but You didn’t answer my question.
    Please, why do you say that (1) learning how our mind works, we will create everything we want, while (2) there is no separate self who acts independently of the whole ?
    The answer is (1) or (2).
    It can’t be once (1) and once (2).
    if you say (1) why you say is one big spontaneous process ?
    If you say (2) why you say that we can get what we want ?

    P.S:I am using holosync and lpip course.

    FROM BILL: I answered the question last time.

  87. carlos says :

    Pride and vanity are very common in all of us and they are I believe one of the main blocks we have to overcome to achieve anything not only to realize emptiness but to achieve any goals in life.

    I think it was Dale Carnigie who said that to influence somebody you should talk about what made that person feel important. (pride , vanity).

    Different people get their “feelings of importance ” in different ways. John Dillinger was proud to be a badass , somepeople get their feeling of importance from the money they make, others from the knowledge they have , others from being like Don Juan , others from being a good father or family man, still others from being “enlightened” or being “spiritual”.

    The bad thing I believe is that many of us have the need to feel superior or have higher status than others so we compare to others , we criticize their way of feeling important ( if it is different than ours) in order to feel ourselves superior . By doing this we disowned even more the traits that we criticize.

    For instance a business man may look down on “spiritual” people seing them as a little crazy , with their mind in the clouds , no direction and no backbone.

    Spiritual people might look down on business people seing them as superficial , selfish and ruthless.

    Probably what is behind that is that They look down on each other as a way to feel themselves superior , In this case We are coming from our pride and vanity.

    When people in “new age” circles speak about getting rid of the ego I think they mean to get rid of our pride.(Of course what we want to do is to include it and transcend it)


    FROM BILL: You’ve made a good list of some of the things a person has to have Great Doubt about (ie, realize that none of them will provide any kind of ultimate salvation).

  88. Luke says :

    Hey Bill,
    Thanks for a wonderful post. I really appreciate what you are doing here! I think that I have always had a good amount of skepticism around the things I am chasing in my life. I mean i know when I get something it’ll fall apart or change eventually so I have had my mind set on LASTING fulfillment and happiness. Thus holosync and various other practices. Do you think this exists?? Your post reminded me of the two common statues of the buddah. In one he is striving for enlightenment, sacrificing himself and steering away from the relative world in search for something more. In the other statue he’s fat, happy, eating a lot and probably having a great time with everyone around him. So maybe he tried so hard for so long and eventually he realized what a wild goose chase this whole game is, and how he was seeking himself all along and just laughed! The game of hide and seek is over! How obvious! hahaha
    But I still beg the question… do you believe there can be any lasting satisfaction in the relative world? Or is it all samsara?

    FROM BILL: No, there is no lasting satisfaction. Really getting that, however, is freedom–freedom from striving, freedom from hope.

  89. carlos says :

    You are right Bill,

    I am remembering my grandfather now. He was far from enlightened and he was not educated , but he was sharp as a blade , had an incredible sense of humour , a very high threshold , was happy most of the times and everybody loved him.

    He was born in the country side and he worked in the fields since he was 8 years old to help support his youngest brothers.

    I realize now that he got his feeling of importance from his struggles and hard work. He died in his 80’s and a few months before he died he used to repeat a lot – ” I have worked a lot and overcome many things but now at the end of the road it does not really matter”


  90. Ted says :

    I look forward to your blog and all the subsequent comments and your responses each month. More often than not I grasp the subject on an intellectual level however I find it is in the comments where I am able to really, really get it. This time was no different but for the fact that they acted as a kind of travel map of just how much positive progress I have made sense I embraced your teachings, holosync, etc. It was kinda strange reading the various “negative posts” and recognizing that only months ago I would have responded in much the same way, but now those non serving parts have fallen completely away. I hope this makes sense to you as I am still learning to express the liberation I feel. I am in your debt, Thank you.
    Now, embracing the voice of my “selfish self” I hope that Centerpointe grows as large as you want it to for the following reasons. More profit means more resources free and other wise to help me and others. Growth means more people employed, possibly me. Finally and maybe most importantly more income means more children receiving help through your donations, I wish it had been me.


  91. Gloria says :

    Here are some words of wisdom from Osho which are relevant to this discussion. I used to think he was a bit of a fruit cake, but he has a quirky kind of wisdom, which I now find quite appealing. This is from a book called Meetings With Remarkable People (P227-8) in which he expounds, in his own inimicable style, on mystics and philosophers of all ages. In this piece he is referring to the two different paths to enlightenment of meditation and devotion.

    “But remember one thing… Each and every master has said it, because the problem is there on both of the paths. The problem is, one can be stranded on the bridge. The meditator may become so addicted to meditation that he may be stranded on the bridge. The lover may become too much addicted to love, then he will be stranded on the bridge. Love is a bridge, meditation is a bridge. And you have to go beyond the bridge.”

    “When your illness is gone, you have to drop the medicine. If you continue the medicine then IT will become your illness.”

    “In the ultimate state, the meditator has to drop his meditation and the lover has to forget all about his love. Otherwise you will just be close to the door but you will not be able to enter the temple. The method has to be forgotten.”

    “Buddha said that each method is like a raft, like a boat: use it to go to the other shore, but then leave it there and forget all about it and go on your way. There is no need to carry the raft on your head. If you carry the raft on your head you are just stupid.”

    “All methods are methods, all means are means. And if you want to reach the end you will have to drop all means and all methods. That is the only way to enter into the ultimate. The lover will have to forget all about love, and the meditator will have to forget all about meditation. Yes, there comes a moment when the meditator does not meditate, because he has become meditation himself; now meditation is not a separate activity. And there comes a time when the lover does not love, because he is love himself. There is nobody else separate from love, love has become his being – he has forgotten all about it.”

    Bring it on!

  92. Thanks Bill,

    I was listening to Sally Kempton in a Great Integral Awakening series (do you know about them?) and she said that at one moment in the path we’re like “bliss bunnies” we just wanna get away from the world and be blissful all the time. But then the shadows come and it doesn’t feel so much like fun anymore and you see that staying in that state of wonder is not really the goal.

    But then at another stage we see that bringing that state of wonder, of continuous “aha” to the world is one of the best things you can do.

    I’m still confused I have to say, because in some way when I hear that, there is a “should” feeling, like trying to freeze the world again, like a belief system that gives me “relief”. But on the other hand, living in the continuous flow of the unknown, without picking and choosing, without anything to hold onto gets kind of unbearable sometimes and I don’t think the point of this is to keep suffering.

    I guess I’m just back to let whatever happens be ok,

    However, now I feel like a kind of “worshiper” of life, like realizing that whatever arises in the moment is precisely life force energy, even the worst of feelings, including feelings of separation, fear and anxiety, they too are life force energy.

    So in a way I’m trying to maintain that sense of wonder through the (necessary ?) purification period.

    Even in this confusion I have to say I’m grateful for all the wisdom that has come trough you, this has been an amazing journey and I wouldn’t trade it for the world !

    All the love,


    FROM BILL: Too many teachers can spoil the enlightenment. Just be ordinary. Quit trying to figure it all out.

  93. Bob Hughes says :

    In your materials and blogs you’ve introduced us well to Genpo Roshi and Ken Wilbur (wishing him the best),
    but at least in this post you say little about Bernie Glassman.

    Buddhists in general suffer from detachment from the social world. Not Glassman.

    Roshi Bernie Glassman is one of the most socially active Zen Buddhists that I’ve ever heard of.
    He wrote about his model for social change in his book, “Instructions to the Cook: A Zen Master’s Lessons on Living a Life that Matters.”

    Got any more on him?

  94. Bob Hughes says :

    Thanks to Tony Bardon above for his comment and the reference to

    This is a must read!

    I apply Holosynch to the practice of Tai Chi.

    But Douglas Harding’s experiments are super powerful.

    No-head directly corresponds to “Wuji,”
    the state of “grand emptiness” which is the primordial state of non-being, a state of “Nothingness and boundlessness,”that holds all the beauty and grace of Taiji.

    What do you think, Bill?

  95. james says :

    Thanks for making Holosync Bill.

  96. james says :

    Bill, the amount of benefit you have bought the community by developing Holosync alone is immeasurable, you certainly deserve something for it. If you didn’t run Centerpointe as a business, how many people would benefit from it? Not very many.
    Stephen Warrilow obviously didn’t use his CDs properly and wouldn’t have understood the onine courses.
    I would pay double the cost of the program if it was the only money I had and I don’t have Brittish Pounds to pay for it with.

  97. ROSARIO says :

    Can I (the illusion) get everything I want ?

    FROM BILL: Who would get it?

  98. Thanks Bill,

    It’s so easy to keep falling into seeking.

    I was wandering what you think about this:

    I’ve been doing Integral Institute’s 3 body work out for a while, and I love it. In the beginning they start by describing how all sensations, thoughts, feelings, etc. are objects, arising in awareness (which is not an object). I have also heard K. Wilber say that “objects come, they torture you and they leave”.

    I think I know what they mean, but I see separation in there. That’s a witness posture, which seems like ultimate reality. However, I think this is a deeper level of delusion, because there is really no witness, saying that is just like creating a new self (the witness) when in reality there is no self at all. And there are no “objects” and “subject” (the awareness they point out to).

    After all this changes I feel a deeper peace, and also very exhausted, this shakes the system in a way that leaves me all tired, but relieved. It is like being born again (and somehow I think new births tend to be painful).

    As always, thanks for making this wisdom available to us.

    All the love,


  99. I forgot to say that I realized that yesterday when Genpo pointed it out during his sunday webminar.

  100. Lynn says :

    Hi Bill,
    I had days, off and on a couple of months ago, where I had went in and out of days of more stress than usual, from resistance out of seeking, issues related to health, and too, going through what i considered ‘the dark night’, intermingled with days of the below.
    First let me say, that i was SO much better being with ‘the dark night’, than I would have been in the past, especially feeling as stuck as i was, this is because of Holosync..
    in the past, i would have run for rescue.
    I am aware of the difference now between running for rescue and seeking help to get unstuck.
    I have never experienced anything quite like the below, and it was wonderful.
    After listening to the latest Genpo Roshi live on Big Mind TV, it made clearer, what i could not articulate….
    This is what i felt…….

    “i’m okay no matter what
    I’m even okay, when i’m not okay, and when others are not okay
    I don’t have to ‘fix’ the suffering
    I can just settle and relax into this life
    I cannot do anything not in the present”

    I couldn’t even try to explain, or want to explain what the experience was like while in this state.
    I really felt in and of life, in a very different way.
    There too was no ‘high’, no great awareness.
    the awareness was of how it felt in this connectedness, presence……..but this too was not profound at all, it just was.
    I wasn’t even aware of feeling ‘life force’.
    it wasn’t that kind of ‘NOW’.
    I felt like the fish, the water, the bowl, outside the bowl……all very subtle, this knowing and in the ‘background’, this awareness.
    I have had feelings, even in stress, that there is something like a ‘goo’ around me, some feeling of comfort, protection, connection.
    This time, i really felt, i am too made of the same substance.
    i had been going through what i perceived to be ‘the dark night’, and more physical pain, and i had this experience……..that it was all okay and I did not have to ‘fix’ it, and with that, everything shifted. It didn’t go away, but i was not it anymore and it could be on the sidelines.
    I had no desire to seek, to change anything.
    This felt life at its most ‘normal’…..and too, at its best…..everything, the little things, ……this is what it is all about………full, complete, ordinary, no highs, no great wisdom, no insights, but the experience of connectedness, and oness…..again, not profound…….not even aware of that is what it was at the time…………i have experienced connection deeply before, but not oness like this…….there was always something ‘out there’……..and I would connect with me here and them, it, out there……it was wonderful, but also exhausting at times………with this more recent experience, …..there was no ‘out there’ .
    It was SO peaceful!!

    I too have had experiences of ‘quiet mind’ in which i was so happy, but I still felt the separation, as if i was some ‘being’ looking out at the world, but this was different,, and was not completely of no mind.

    Then, fear tripped me up..
    and with this, i looked all around me, at my life, material things, non material, through the lens of seeking/wanting…….and, I realized i could always be in a state of wanting/seeking, in every area of my could never end.
    But have been so grateful to have had choice, and gratitude, which no longer comes from fear, from what might be, as it did last fall, , due to this economic crises.
    Gratitude transformed to daily, subtle gratitude, even in the ‘dark night’, that most of the time, so much, especially material things, is good and fine as it is.
    It is so nice to feel not wanting or needing the smallest thing, even Holosync, if it comes to it, and we cannot afford the next level………it’ll be okay.
    When I first began Holosync, i wanted to be at level 12 already. Now, wherever i am with Holosync is okay, truly.
    And it was Holosync that helped me with all this.
    I know now, more deeply, that seeking rescue is not going to rescue me from anything, that it is actually going to create even more resistance to peace.

    I have found i have huge resistance to wanting to change, and realize that all the working so so hard in trying to change has kept me from it…..put a huge huge boulder in front of me.
    dropping the hard hard work, and the intense seeking, can help dissolve the boulder.

    what i realized above, is that there is nothing to be rescued from, as this all is what it is about…..they say it is about the journey. getting this really deeply is something very different than getting it only intellectually. ..I would say, that it is about awareness of being IN the journey… is the resistance as you have said so many times, that keeps us from. We are trying to rescue ourselves from what we perceive to be negative, bad, to make us feel special, because we do not feel special, etc., etc., …. So many seek the non dual because it omits all that….and by that omission, it is resisting and omitting…..and too, on some level, to me, it may be judging when it is not mature…..but accepting it all………, that is the best, so far better, so much richer, deeper, and more interesting than the non dual by itself……and……….much more compassionate.

    meanwhile, i have just touched in…i do not live there.
    I too have found, that while in a state, if I try to conceptualize it, or try to find out ‘how i got there’, it takes me out of the state.

    I used to seek the non dual.
    But I realized there was a huge dichotomy about all this.
    How does one unconditionally love self, others, by trying to omit and change so much.
    Then I went through a long period of not wanting it at all.
    I wanted the integrated state.
    I then had to let go of resistance to the non dual, when i got so stuck in the muck w/ the dark night, and have trust and faith, if I went there, I would not get too attached there.
    And it has been very helpful.
    I will say, when i need a little grounding, voice dialogue, in the dual really helps, immediately.

    I have realized more deeply, that when i feel too wise, there is a lack of wisdom, so i try to watch out for that……..
    It is usually the case of feeling either too wise or too uncertain.
    Very rare and very wonderful to be in the more integrated state of knowing, with less attachment, how unwise I am, and a smile comes..
    I find it much easier to access from feeling too wise, that integrated state, but if not grounded in the too wise for a while, i quickly fall back off into uncertainty..

    I am so happy for you and this experience. Thank you for sharing, and as always, for Holosync!
    very best, lynn

  101. ROSARIO says :

    how can it possible to use VEDANTA teaching and NAPOLEON HILL teaching at the same time ?
    It has no sense.
    One exclude the other.

    FROM BILL: despite the fact that ultimately everything is non-dual, here you are in the relative world, the world of cause and effect and impermanence. True awakening integrates both.

  102. ROSARIO says :


    is it true that the “I” that is thinking now that is writing to you is only a VOICE in the mind, that the true I “PRESENCE-AWARENESS” believe to be that VOICE, but is not true because this VOICE, is only a sound and have no independent power to think, choose, do, etc. ?
    is it true that is ONE spontaneous happening because there is no one that can think , choose, act and get something as says VEDANTA ?
    Now NAPOLEON HILL, NLP, etc, say that I (the VOICE) can get what I want if …. etc. etc.

    P.S: Bill, as you can see, my questions are always on this argument because I see a contraddiction. GRAZIE.

    FROM BILL: These are all just a lot of ideas. Ideas about all of this are not the answer. Increase your awareness and your questions will disappear.

  103. Kurt says :

    Now is all there is, however try to define that one!

    Great post, reminded me of a comment you made on 1 of the CDs from you: “Who’s been coming to these seminars for years now? (Loud noise of all the proud people who’ve don dozens of seminars) and then you: “Someday you’ll get it’.


    And Mr. Warrilow, a question for you: What’s wrong (if ever there were something as right & wrong) with being a spiritual guru and a businessman at the same time?


  104. Kurt says :

    Came across this quote this morning which fits well with the discussion above:

    “It’s a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.” Albert Camus

    FROM BILL: I would probably reword it to say that a person isn’t going to create happiness by renouncing money. Money, really, is a medium of exchange that keeps us from having to barter for everything, which makes it quite difficult to get what you want quickly and easily. If I want something from the grocery store and I have an article I’ve written, the store might not want the article, so I have to find someone who has something the store wants and who also wants my article. To complete the transaction I might have to trade several times. Money makes this process easy: I sell my article to someone who wants it, then take the money to the store.

    Money represents value I have provided to someone else. The person offering the money gets to say how valuable something is. If they don’t think it’s worth the price, they don’t buy it. If enough people say that (by not buying) the price either goes down or the item disappears from the market (if it can’t be provided at a lower cost). Under this system people who provide more value to more people make more money.

    The only exceptions to this are criminals, and the government. The government takes money from people who earned it, and often gives it to those who did not earn it (including big corporations). Other than that, as far as I’m concerned, anyone who makes a lot of money deserves it–other people voluntarily gave that person money in exchange for something they wanted more than the money, just as a person pays the electric company for electricity because they want it more than the money they pay for it.

  105. So Bill,

    To truly wake up we have to really FEEL the pain of impermanence, the pain of knowing that we are babies falling down the precipice just trying to hold on to the rocks that are falling with us ehh ?

    And this realization doesn’t come without pain, and is not like the jump to the transcendent, which happens quickly, this takes time.

    Now every time I see a person I just can’t help to think that they too are going down and that nothing will save them or bring them permanent satisfaction. This seems obvious of course, but now is different, because now is not just an idea that seems very far away, now is like having death right here with me.

    Pain really humbles you right ?

    I’m just letting it be, I’m letting the house shatter. However I keep writing to you because is helpful to have contact with someone who’s been on the path. (although we can get too attached to our teachers also)

    I guess when we think we are awake that’s the moment we are more deluded.

    How do you cope with it ?

    All the love,


    PD, I guess I’m just seeking comfort, but what the hell ;)

  106. Terry HS says :

    I found myself feeling quite alarmed by the first paragraph of this article – I wasn’t sure what the reason was at the outset and then it came to me in waves. Rather than going through all the ins and outs of that (which of course is just my stuff), I think it can be boiled down to a few questions.

    As someone at the unitive stage of development, are you satisfied or are you driven by an impulse to ‘keep going’ to keep striving spiritually to ever higher levels of ‘understanding’, realisation and awareness? If you are driven to keep going, how is this any different to striving in the material world?

    Isn’t this just another case of more is never enough (a central theme of the egoic sense of self)? More enlightenment, more realisation, more connectedness to source etc etc….When I hear awakening characterised in this way, I find it disheartening as it sounds like more of the same sense of lack – only within a different context – this time spiritual.

    My purpose for embarking upon this path is to become so deeply rooted in the now that I am no longer driven by the NEED to strive – the need for more of ANYTHING. It seems to me that peace requires total acceptance and an end to spiritual seeking – once we are that, why would ‘higher levels of understanding’, whatever that means, be of any interest at all?

    FROM BILL: So you’re striving to end striving? How’s that working so far?

  107. Terry HS says :

    Fantastically well actually. In my moments of clarity, it’s been clear that need-based, self-seeking striving is completely unnecessary as I am completely whole already. There is no lack, there’s nothing to understand, no one to understand – nothing exists but the deliciousness of now – In my experience of this perspective, so-called ‘higher levels of understanding’ are meaningless. I am meaningless – I am nothing and all there is. Everything is perfect and as it should be. There are no problems to be solved. No mysteries to be figured out. No grasping for anything at all. Just restful acceptance of all. My aim is to live this realisation as opposed to experiencing it for fleeting moments. Hence my almost religious use of holosync to help quiet the mind.

    As an aside, I’m not suggesting that striving is bad – rather that striving which is motivated by self-seeking is a marker of a sense of lack (on an emotional level) and a desperate grasping to mitigate that lack – in other words more of the same egoic stuff that generates all our self-created suffering.

    Are you going to answer my questions now?

    FROM BILL: Hmm. I still find striving necessary, as when I’m hungry, or cold, or need money to pay my bills, or need the TV remote. Perhaps a higher level of realization might include knowing that the nature of human beings is to strive, and that in fact they must do so in order to survive (and, in fact, in order to have an interesting life), but that when striving to do so with awareness, so to see the potential consequences and to be able to CHOOSE what to strive for or become attached to.

    Life without striving is dry and, well, lifeless. This isn’t about ending striving, but about ending UNCONSCIOUS AND UNAWARE striving.

  108. Terry HS says :

    Well we can certainly agree that striving is fun. But I”m not talking about ending striving neither am I referring to taking action to get basic needs of food and shelter met.

    I’m talking about ending the NEED to strive motivated by the egoic “never enough” structure: the self-seeking, fear-based striving that permeates the collective so much today.

    “Once I’ve accomplished this, or achieved that, then I’ll have finally made it. I’ll be someone.”

    That’s the kind of striving that I’m suggesting falls away from a person who is truly awakened, because at that stage there’s no need to stand out. No need to “be somebody”.

    Such a person may go ahead and do great stuff that gets them noticed anyway – but they don’t NEED to do it. They’re not trying to mitigate some deep seated sense of “I’m not enough”.

    From this place (that is free of self-seeking), their action is more empowered anyway as it doesn’t have a stressful undercurrent to it.

    But we’re veering off topic slightly – as I was actually asking about spiritual growth and if you felt satisfied with where you are or if you felt an impulse to keep going. It sounds like you’re saying that you feel the need to keep going, which is fine.

    For me, the point of starting the path is to end it – not to be a seeker for the rest of my years as a human. I don’t know that I buy the idea that the path to awakening is a never ending search. I guess time will tell.

    Thanks for your responses and materials. Your 9 principles DVD is outstanding. Other people in the office listen to the radio every day. I listen to you and Marc Gilson :)

    FROM BILL: But you DO need to strive. It’s TRUE that you never have enough. You need “enough” in order to stay alive, for one thing.

  109. Marlina Rinzen says :

    Hi Bill,

    Thank you as always. You are very generous.

    Marlina (of the thousand notes in LPIP…)

  110. Terry HS says :


    What’s happening here is you’re misinterpreting what I’m saying, then arguing against the misinterpretation.

    I have overcome destitution and homelessness in my own life, so I fully understand what’s required to get basic needs met. That’s not what I’m talking about.

    What I am saying is you want to strive for lofty goals? Fine (I certainly do). You want to achieve big things? Fine (I do). But strive for those things understanding that you are ALREADY valuable, REGARDLESS of whether you’re a zillionaire or a janitor. Striving from a place of self-acceptance is much more powerful than striving from a place of EMOTIONAL lack.

    I actually think that our points of view are entirely compatible.

    I’m saying that people should strive for things from a position of self-acceptance and a realisation that they are valuable regardless of whether or not they achieve this or that success in the external world. And you’re suggesting that ‘striving with awareness’ is the way to go.

    If we follow your paradigm where awareness brings about a dropping off of dysfunctional thought patterns (which I believe it does), then striving with awareness would mean that the feelings of inadequacy that motivate the UNHEALTHY form of striving – (the type of that I’ve been banging on about) would fall away, making a person who was striving in this way (with awareness) far more powerful and effective.

    So we agree that striving with awareness is the way to go.

    until the next time,


    FROM BILL: When you’re really aware, you realize that being inadequate and being valuable are both part of who you are, and beyond that, they are both IDEAS about who you are, and in truth have nothing to do with you. With awareness, everything sorts itself out. You don’t need a philosophy to tell you what is what, or who you are. I get that you no longer need to convince yourself that you’re okay, which is good. What you’re saying, though, seems like it’s still a reaction to having once thought that you weren’t. Eventually, if you keep going, you reach a place of complete ordinariness–not valuable, not inadequate, just ordinary.

  111. John Neilson says :

    Hi Bill,

    It seems that you are increasingly integrating your teachings from the Life Principles Integration Process with those from your Holosync support material; which is a good thing. BTW your new Holosync promotional video is excellent. But I don’t like the haircut. You must have been hanging out with those Zen Buddhist monks too much. :-)

    I am at the end of Purification-1 and have done the 3 LPIP courses. Also I have read Genpo Roshi’s BMBH book and watched through the DVDs of the Feb-2009 workshop you and he gave. And I have attended a one-day workshop with one of Genpo’s proteges in Sydney, Australia.

    I had some very beneficial shifts of perspective following that workshop. But the effects don’t seem to be permanent . . . . they sort of fade away over time. Genpo said in the 2/09 workshop that it was just a sampler; that you need to undertake daily practice to arrive at the Integrated Human Being position.

    Now, reading your article, I’m a bit confused. Is all this searching a waste of time, money and energy? How do I come to the realization that everything is really no-thing at a visceral level? I already know it at an intellectual level – news, politics, business etc are all a big joke, and not a very funny one at that!

    Many of the personal/spiritual growth models emphasise working with your feelings – BMBH, Sedona, Power of Now etc – but when I try to do that I don’t have any feelings coming up. And I don’t think it’s a question of suppressing them. I’m just OK about whatever it is. So I say to myself, “OK John. Just go with the flow – just LWHBOK. Like Alan Watts’ friend, just forget about it all and get on with living, but with awareness.”

    That still leaves me dissatisfied. So I suppose there must be some shadow material lurking in the background. Genpo suggest that “what bugs you” is the key to Shadow Material. Well what bugs me is the same as always . . . not enough wealth, dissatisfying relationships, muddle-headedness and poor organization of time and space. I have come a long way in the last 5 years and these things don’t bother me as much as they used to.

    During my first personal growth workshop in the 1970s I resonated deeply with Neil Diamond’s song “I am I said”; especially: “I’ve got an emptiness deep inside, and I’ve tried but it won’t let me go.” It’s not as big as it was, but it’s still there.

    I can’t afford the air fares from Australia to attend any of Genpo’s workshops even if I could afford the fees. But I have a strong feeling that BMBH work is the most effective way around to get “it”, or realize that I already have it. I’d just like to know where to go from here, and how to reach both the place of no-thing as well as that of the Integrated Human Being.

    FROM BILL: That empty feeling is the human condition. Stop trying to escape from it. Letting whatever happens isn’t a technique to get you to a point where yoiu think everything IS okay. Everything will never be okay. Really acknowledging that creates freedom. Trying to get rid of the empty feeling is an unwinnable game–the essence of the Game of Black and White. Still, being human, you really can’t stop playing. You can, however, watch yourself play with awareness.

  112. Terry HS says :

    Gosh you give me too much credit :) I certainly have not reached the stage where I don’t have to convince myself that I’m okay. That would be nice. Lol! In fleeting moments of clarity, I have that realisation, but it’s not something that I’m living full time yet.

    I think it’s appropriate to play the game of black and white with this stuff up to a point. The aspects of being human that cause self-created suffering are dysfunctional and it’s okay to want to drop them.

    I see identification with mind as the problem and identification with reality as the solution. I also think that when a person is truly awakened, the dysfunctional parts of the so-called human condition – a condition which in my view is not static, fall away leaving such a person with an experience of life that is whole and complete, rooted in emptiness.

    I’m fascinated by your comments on ordinariness. Please say a bit more about this. I wonder if you’re talking about the same experience of spacious alive stillness that I’m referring to.

    FROM BILL: All you have to do is be aware and everything sorts itself out–that is, everything that can sort itself out.

  113. Sam says :

    My question regards the experience of emptiness as it relates to the unitive stage of development, because presumibly the experience one has of emptiness should be absolute and true from this stage and on the flip side of the coin perhaps one must be at a unitive stage of development to have a direct experience of emptiness without filtering it through the mind and hence creating some sort of lower interpretation. I believe that I do have a direct experience of emptiness and, even if this experience is obscured for a while, I can readily come back to my center of being and have this ahaha experience “on demand” whenever I’m actually being who I really am rather than what I think; after a while this realization of the center of my being will be perminant, which may or may not be unitive in its scope, however for now I’ll have to be content with the experience (really still added by the mind somehow) having a sort of polarization in that it’s on again and off again. When one becomes unitive one drops the experience of emptiness, because the one becomes so obsorbed in what one is doing that the body seems to drop away from our experience and we somehow feel ourselves being the one ocean of consciousness. We’re always there, accept that mostly we’re focused on our body believing that this is the center of our being, and so it’s not really correct to call this an experience unless we’re talking about the experience of crossing the threshold into or out of nowhere. It gets a bit weird at this level, and I’ll try to hold back my rambling at this stage. I know I’m not there yet, and I often tend to get in the way with my own ideas and hamper the flow of what’s going on and perhaps loose my purpose of enlightening into a sort of ego trip. Sometimes we must swim upstream for a while to accomplish the goal of floating down the stream that carries everything effortlessly forward, however unfortunately I tend to get in the habbit of swimming upstream just because it’s the opposit of what is natural so I think there’s progress because I’m battling with fear endlessly or something.

    At any rate I want to get back to this unitive stage experience of emptiness–perhaps we can call life now–and try to understand how some can think of themselves as unitive and still be screwed up. I believe that perhaps an aspect of my consciousness is unitive–like an aspect of us being the controler or protector voice etc when genpo speaks with big mind in a group–but perhaps this is only one aspect of my consciousness. There is a sort of “big mind Sam” that can hold this experience and, with continuous development, can learn to clearly articulate the unarticulatable in such a way that helps you to speak your own wisdom which is clear than I can say. However I often wonder how much of this is my own pride or self-surving biases rather than an experience of emptiness, because I often get on this trip wherein I believe that I have this enlightened experience and others who don’t should just listen to me because I know what’s right for them. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is not so because the more I relax my grip on my internal map the more I naturally stop rejecting what others experiences are and the more I learn from them, however this is this certain part of myself that clings to “I’m special and you’re not” even though I feel very guilty and ashamed that I put others down like this unconsciously; if I could make this “I’m special” voice a conscious process I could attain from the list of twelve great ritches the abilitty to share my blessings with the world, and I would finally be satisfied and content knowing that life is going the way I want it to. I don’t think that this is exclusively my problem however, because I recognize a lot of these patterns in the people who write in here: you might be able to fix other people’s situations, but you just don’t know how bad my situation was, and if you really took the time to find out you’d surely change your tone just like everyone who’s tried to help me… I feel bad about this victimization and I want to do something about it within myself, and I need to recognize how much of this motivation is a true unitive impulse to integrate this stuff or is it simply shadow? For instance the thought popped into my head that I’m making an either-or exclusive decision and that a person at the unitive stage would be able to cognize far beyond this matrix of possibilities, however I’m not quite sure that someone below the unitive stage of development could have the cognitive capacity to reflect upon one’s own mind and make decisions about it’s functioning based on data that this mind doesn’t already have. Rather than going into what some call overwelm here I’d like to get this type of thing figured out, because it seems to me that far too many of us holosync users seem to think that we’re entitled to the enlightened experience and that someone must give it to us because we’re for some reason deserving. Bill must tell me how to feel happy because he owes that to me, and if he can’t then it’s his fault and (games people play).

    I’ve been doing my own research on big mind and the shifts that the process fascilitates, and also about what Ken Wilber said about ten percent of the population being happy or something; he said if they would practice then we’d all be cool and the world wouldn’t suck so much or something equivillent. At any rate perhaps there is a certain percentage of the primary self systems within holosync users–perhaps ten percent or so–that are at what we might call for sake of argument the unitive experience of life; this is a state brought on by holosync most likely, rather than a true stage development from the population selected or technology. Perhaps it’s possible for you, Bill, to do some sort of shifting thing on the blog here that calls to the self systems associated with emptiness or unitive experience. Perhaps if we alter our evaluation strategy a bit we could ascertain which integral signifiers are associated with these types and target posts related to shifting that part of the consciousness rather that dealing with victoms and fear and shadow. I’m sorry I’m rambling again, but this seems really easy to do and something that at least some of us could integrate as a stage development rather than a state; if we extrapolate this out to the marketplace the competition for true value would weed out those people who just want to bitch–or when I’m this way it’ll cut down on my rambling–and target those segments of our consciousness that really are providing integral value in this way. It would foster more creativity on the part of those who are providing this value because similarly to the centerpoint retreats those who are more unitive and advanced in their development can carry more and those who are more beginners can show more of their potential. At any rate those are my thoughts, for what if anything they’re worth. Thanks for listening.

    PS: what I’m really getting at; what this is really about; what the definite major purpose of all of this is… I want to eventually use big mind as a sort of internet wherein I can readily contact those who I designate as part of my mastermind group and have them interacting with me virtually in a live setting. Big mind isn’t nearly at this capacity yet and, from what I’ve witnessed, it aint getting there any time soon by discussing fears or shadows. We really need people who give a shit about this as I do, or perhaps people who care enough to give me the feedback I need to make this happen. This big mind is only one small portion of my definite major purpose here, and I will make it the way I want with or without any external approval, however I think that perhaps many people can benefit from this who aren’t now because they’re suffering in fear and have nobody to tell them to just be happy. After a while we need a reorganization, and we need people who are really interested in moving this forward for everyone rather than just for themselves, and for people like me on the vurge I need feedback on whether or not it’s my ego/matrix-controled map or a higher impulse for change. Basically rather than hiding in shadows for fear of being all that we can be, we need an articulation of who’s sentient and who’s not before it’s too late. But of course the self who’s articulating this doesn’t exist within the minds of most people, and until a sufficient number of people catch on this seems to be insanitty. I appologize once again, but I just can’t help myself. I’m like Alice in Wonderland: “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom ever follow it” boo hoo, poor me the victom who can’t change.

  114. Sam says :

    I believe that I have something to add to the discussion between you Bill and Terry HS about striving. I know quite well that I’m on the path of enlightenment, and I have ideas about what that all means and how I fit what seems like different from ordinary life into that which seems ordinary. I think that when we’re talking about striving in a negative sense we’re talking about the sort of thing I do when I get off topic and ramble in my posts here–thankfully Terry HS seems not to have this difficulty–which is my striving to make everything make some sort of logical sense. I know that one needs to turn of the logical conscious mind for the helpful information of the unconscious to come through, recognize that Terry HS and Bill Harris are inherrently one and that I can learn a lot from their points of view from whatever part of my unconscious is part of this discussion etc. Although I know quite well what I’m doing when I talk about enlightenment I seem to not make it come out right, and if enlightenment were my true experience I wouldn’t be caught in all of this because I would just describe what I’m thinking and feeling. We’re I think talking about the striving to be ones true self, whatever that means, and to become comfortable in one’s skin. Even some perceived enlightened people aren’t really happy and would benefit from being more happy, and perhaps one day we can be happy being ourselves without having to strive or push to be who we already are. When I don’t push so hard for my own strive-drive towards my own hidden agenda I can learn a lot from Terry HS and others on here because all of that’s dropped away, however I still can’t tell how I’m doing this to myself. Maybe this takes more than one and we would do well to work together on this, as a couple people or a collective, and we need to work more to reach across the isle to really see what the other side–that of the person across from you–has to teach us.

  115. Caroline says :

    I truly enjoyed that.
    Love to you

  116. Caroline says :

    Not that it matters

  117. Terry HS says :

    I want to say a thank you to Sam for a thoughtful, sincere and moving post. I felt my perspective broaden after reading it. I think Sam may be alot more advanced than he or she realises.

    love to all


  118. ROSARIO says :

    PLEASE, can you explain at best when I can make love with my girl, and not dissipate the energy reorganizing itself at higher level ?

    P.S: My girls thinks that I am crazy to reduce our meeting to make love to let energy to reorganizing itself at higher level.

    FROM BILL: I’m on your girlfriend’s side on this. Everything you do dissipates energy. At least this is something fun.

  119. ROSARIO says :

    in your book at pag.83 there is 3 ways people deal with overwhelm, and you say that people when stressed dissipate energy through anger, crying, physical activity, SEX, etc, and that block the system to reorganize at higher level.
    Now you answered that is fun to make sex.
    so what is the right thing to do about SEX to let the system reorganize at higher level and not block it ?

    FROM BILL: Are you using sex to get rid of negative feelings that you should be watching with awareness? If not, screw your brains out and have a good time.

  120. Terry Heart Solomon says :

    Lol! Bill you are too funny.

    FROM BILL: How much less funny would I have to be to be just the right amount of funny?

  121. Chris says :


    Can you just give me a little reassurance that it will all be ok? You wouldn’t believe the shit I’ve been through, just during awakening prologue. Currently now on level 1… and feeling the daily pain of impermanence and a new perspective that is a total 180 from the previous one. Everything seems strange and new now.


    FROM BILL: As long as you resist life you’ll have trouble. You have to find out HOW you’re resisting life (hint: you are focusing on what you don’t want). Ultimately no one is okay. Everything eventually falls apart. When you come to terms with that, you’re free.

  122. Sam says :

    First off I’d like to extend my sincere appreciation for the comments made by Terry HS about my posts here, because it made me feel really good and helped me to open my heart some more to the possabilitty that I can contribute what seems like confusion in a way that helps myself and others. I think that we need to encourage more of this type of productive engagement with life and some of what we’re doing here seems to be stimulating this sort of growth. I feel that if we model this type of cooperative learning now that we are laying down tracks which will make it easier for those who come after us to sync into a more negotiable path.

    Also to the one who was interested in tontric energies, especially as they relate to holosync, I might be able to give some advice. This will apply to more than sex; this type of learning helps me to get through overwelm.

    For starters, pay more attention to the gaps between movements rather than the movements themselvs. This goes for sexual movements as well as the movement of your breath, as the gaps act as doorways to the soul.
    Notice how each movement takes you to a higher level of energy, and when the movement stops how the energy seems to plateau inbetween until the movement starts up again and takes you to yet another higher level. For instance when breathing in the energy goes to a higher level, then there’s a gap when the breath stops when the energy wave balances, and then the out breathe brings you to a higher level which again plateaus when breathing stops.
    By placing attention on the gaps rather than the movements one can much more readily contain the energy within rather than releasing it–let your imagination go nuts–and allow yourself to experience a continuous full body orgasm which is wonderful to share with a partner.
    This energy is also a great gateway to higher levels which can be used for manifestation, either of personal/global desires or special programming for guifted children to which you wish to pass on certain genetic quallities that you’ve cultivated within yourself.
    It’s also helpful to pay attention to when the energies compliment each other by balencing. This is both noticed in the gaps between energy waves, and sometimes when breathing one notices an opposit energy going the other way; for instance when breathing out one sometimes experiences the universe’s opposit tendency to push back in the opposit direction as the breath which when focused upon increases energy exponentially.
    Imagine yourself breathing through every single poor of your body, as if you body were a sponge letting the air go in and out, and allow the universe to support you with complimentary energy which will act to support your energy through the changing process, and will allow you to re-consolidate your energies and let you come back into the natural flow of your own process.

    I believe that these techniques are useful because they are independent of any belief system, and they seem to help one find his/her own way into the energies that one needs to discover. I believe as Bill does that the best learning is experiential based on one’s own discoveries, and since I’ve started using these tools I’ve noticed that all of the stuff that Bill’s told me that seemed not to make sense makes sense for me now that I’m finding my own energy rather than trying to figure out what to be from him; when I have my own foundation for who I am and then add what he’s saying to it, it makes much more sense than when I try to make him not only teach me the material but tell me who I should be such that I might understand it.

    Also I have some thoughts on delta and how we might be using it more and more with our shared learning. I’ve noticed that with practice I can maintain a state of awareness wherein my body has a very low level of perception, such that it’s almost not there, and that I can simply be an energy wave in the void rather than a person known as as Sam. This doesn’t mean that Sam doesn’t exist, but rather Sam is not really important for what I’m trying to accomplish here. Once I accomplish what I need to I’ll bring Sam back in to enjoy the fruits of my labor, but until then he’s on vacation. Is this how it is for you; not really not there, but perhaps lower in perception than usual. Also with practice the body doesn’t fall out of perception, but this seems to be where I’m at currently.

  123. Sam says :

    Bill, how are you?

    Your post got me thinking… is it possible to design a “holosync”/binaural beat track that attempts to create the brainwaves associated with an experience of emptiness or non-dual awareness. Theoretically speaking is it possible to say measure such an experience (get in Genpo or yourself and hook them up :P) on an ecg machine and then attempt the translate those brainwaves onto a technology like Holosync? Could you comment abit on that idea and the difficulties if this is impossible.

    Thanks buddy

    FROM BILL: Sam, Sam, Sam. That’s what the whole program is about. That’s what The Dive and Immersion are for.

  124. Terry HS says :


  125. Sam says :

    Yes, but I have never had such an experience while listening over the past couple of years. Why is this? Stick with it I guess..
    Have you found these types of experiences occur more at a particular CD?

  126. Jason says :

    Please, Please, Please so something in Canada with Genpo preferably in late 2009 early 2010 I am coming up from Australia and I SO hope to meet you in person!
    Big Mind Vancouver November 2009? YEAH!!!

  127. Money Play says :

    Bill I really hope you answer this one…

    You say human beings are open systems, and when pushed to their thresholds, open systems will either break down and cease to be viable as a system or evolve to a higher order. But the thing is, an open system needs energy input from an outside source to evolve to a higher order. So, in human beings, what is this energy input that can make us leap to a higher level? Because without this external input, we would simply break down as a system.


    FROM BILL: Food, air, sensory experiences.

  128. Sam says :

    I thought that I might give some clarrification for Sam’s questioning with respect to the holosync process. The experience of emptiness isn’t really an “experience” as we might call it in that it aulters your consciousness by way of adding some sort of aultered state experience to it, however in a funny way what seems to happen is that when one has a realization of emptiness the stunning beauty that can often arise for the meditator can seem to be an aultered state and very often does aulter one’s consciousness forever. The idea is that holosync helps us to sync into the extra gears which make the brain more suitable for the insite regarding emptiness, but it’s kind of like a beautiful car; no matter how long you admire the car, sit in the car and play with the steering wheel and so forth, until you actually drive and experience how cool your trip becomes with those extra gears you aren’t really going anywhere (although when you’re a kid this often seems fun, doesn’t it). What you can do however is listen to the second track of the holosync cd a couple of times after listening to the first one, and imagine your body being a sponge that allows the breath to flow in and out through the poors of your skin. Continue this process by imaging that the air you’re breathing turns into light which is vibratory in nature. If you can get into this experience while listening to the imursion portion of the holosync you’ll soon notice that your body seems to drop away and you’re left with an experience of nothingness; it’s really hard to describe, and you have to take it on faith and trust me that it will happen if you’re willing to give it a try. Sometimes we can get a bit worried when this is about to happen, and the majority of people tend to call this overwelm and toss out the experience as something they regard undesireable although they may be meer moments away from a really huge breakthrough into the experience of emptiness. What’s also nice about doing this breathing exercize while listening to holosync is that it continues to deepen your experience of emptiness, and continuously with that practice you’ll begin to witness a sort of progression where the thing seems to unfold in a progression similar to an assembly line wherein it continues on and on and on forever; quite a trip if you’re in for it. Also–and this is just my own oppinion for now–if one does diligent breathing practice while in the delta portion of holosync (or others technology) one becomes habituated to the experience such that after a while one can do the breathing exercize while not listening to holosync and evoke a delta pattern while awake in daily life (this by the way is useful for yourself and those around you, and there are many guifts in store for you if you continue with the training). Delta can act as a portal to higher levels of mind, including the forfth state beyond delta. There’s alpha, theta, delta, and then a forfth state known as turia or sometimes we call this the witness, which (if one wants to call emptiness an experience) people term the experience of emptiness. Eventually one becomes so integrated with the practice that one carries the turia into daily life and becomes a fully integrated freely functioning human being who becomes a blessing to the world at large. This is really the goal for all of us who are interested in making our world a better place, because if we could get our president to experience this state it would evoke in him the capacity for faith that he can act to pull us out of this mess and encourage each one of us to really contribute what we came here to share. Hope and change for real, and we can actually use our practice with holosync and other practice to be useful for something other than just me and what I want, thank god. At any rate I probably went on way too long here, and so far makes no sense what so ever, so I’ll stop for now. I hope this helps, and if you have any questions or perhaps just want to share your experience please feel free to contribute. We are very fortunate to have an opportunity like this, and we shouldn’t take our good luck for granted.

    FROM BILL: Way too much thinking.

  129. Sam says :

    There has to be something for this self to do, doesn’t there? That’s the whole reason that this illusion was created in the first place, and why rather than trying to fix it or escape from it we should be creatively thinking about how to make it better because it’s fun. I do appreciate your thoughtful responce though, although I don’t think that you have the problem that I do of thinking too much with respect to this discussion.

    PS: what’s the difference between thinking and imagination? I’ve been having some really cool thoughts about the modeling process with respect to Walt Disney and his way of constructing amazing internal representations, and all of a sudden I popped through into a different place wherein everything seemed like a cartoon and it all had a really disneyish soundtrack to it. One could say that perhaps I thought too much to cause this to happen, because when one isn’t ready this experience often can seem like a bad psychadelic trip, but at a certain point thinking had nothing to do with it and I was simply there in the imagination of Walt Disney having way too much fun for one person to be having. I mean, just outragious! This can’t be good for me, although the me it’s not good for hasn’t been found yet by my watch or anybody else’s. WRITE THAT DOWN said the queen! Twincle twincle little bat, “how I” wonder wear your at.

  130. Sam says :

    Can you please do a post on internal resources that we don’t currently know we have without awareness, perhaps like courage and imagination? Also you might include people who take your courses but who are not really cerious about doing the homework, and then who bitch when they don’t understand how they’re getting what they don’t want? Brad Antin talked yesterday about how we must take on the risk for our prospects such that they are more ready to commit to a decision, and I imagine that often times as people who are trying to help we must market our solutions for people such that they’re more likely to be committed to change. What we’re interested in here is providing real world value and teaching people to imagine about how it’s possible to be different rather than ruminating “aint it offle” and going into victom stance or fear of the unknown, and it’s our abbilities to take risks and dare ourselves to be great that will allow us to be models for the rest of humanity to follow. Genpo talks sometimes about one’s commitment to the way in that it’s not about the personal self’s desires or fears but rather about a larger practice, and working with Brad yesterday helped me to put things in perspective. Sometimes “way too much thinking” is necessary to get us to do what we know we need to do for ourselves and for others rather than just shining it on for everyone continuously and pretending like we’re having a good time.

    I was really proud of you for going into the idea of emptiness because this certainly isn’t an easy topic to discuss here–perhaps the most difficult in the world–and this time I want you to stretch yourself even more. For instance what did it feel like the first time you got the awareness you speak of, and what did it feel like when those internal resources you also speak of came up within you for the first time? Can you put yourself back in your body at the time for us, and help us to see what you saw and feel what you felt at that time? Can we “travel” with you to that place and experience it, if only for a moment which enspires us for the rest of our lives? Or perhaps use your creative imagination to construct for us a world like Disney land where we can play together? OK I just went too deep again off the deep end, but this Walt Disney thing I’m tapped into is really a lot of fun. I want you, Bill Harris, to experience these internal resources for yourself and help to share them with the world; this is your mission, if you choose to accept it. Wait till the pulse comes, and then ride that wave across the ocean of consciousness forever as I am.

  131. Timmy says :

    Hey Bill.. :)

    Enjoyed that post, and then the fact you first tell us how “stupied” guru and spirituality are in fact or in the sense on how they sell it and then you finish you post with a spot on you’re own product.. :P Nice.. But hey, if anyone buys it must mean you done a good job writing your post, cause then people just don’t get it, well for me, I get it.. ;) So I won’t be needing it.. I just had a good laugh reading and listening too what you why saying.. ;)

    But the experience is cool, and can be experience totally free of charge, just by trying to understand you post, really understand what can be understand but only experienced from within. ;)

    Ouuuutta here… ;)

    See ya Bill! :D
    Big love from me!! :D

  132. Sam says :

    Apparently the idea of your selling water down by the river didn’t go over so well. Isn’t this exactly what you’re doing? You talk in your post about how water is sold to “fish like me” which although a loos analogy still fits the situation, and yet when I post about it here you seem unwilling to put it out there; god knows you’ve allowed numerous other examples of my garbage to be articulated, so why would you filter out this one. You did sound a bit synical about the “fish like you” comment which leads me to believe that you’re a bit jaded about the whole thing, which in my oppinion means that you should stop the bullshit and get into something that you’re not so synical about, as real value is only added to the world when we’re involved with a labor of love. And if 80% of your actions are involved with giving synical responces to people on this blog rather than trying to help people, I would do a cerious evaluation of your life here and figure out what 20% of your actions are going to do something with this blog that really will help the world and add value. I know that I need to practice this in my own life, however for one of your stature I’d imagine that you’d be much more proficient than this… Don’t just play office right now, please, because it’s not time for playing office and pretending that we’re doing something great. The world needs us and right now I’m not sure how to contribute what I have to offer, so for someone like you to be providing something which I’m positive is only one tenth of your full potential is a huge waste. Don’t make me use my loud voice!

    FROM BILL: If you already have water, don’t by any from me. For someone who already has it, you sure spend a lot of time writing book-length comments to me.

  133. Chris says :

    Bill, I’m just a bit curious. How exactly do you go about finding your separate self? What exactly would you be looking for?

    FROM BILL: Great question. You’d be looking for that old seprate self you’re so attached to–the one who “does everything”–the one who thinks and feels. Present it for inspection. Show it to me. But it has to be a separate self, not something connected to everything else–a separate self that can take actions it decides to take, completely independently of the environment, conditioning, or any other relationships with the environment. A true independent agent.

    The thing is, you can’t, because the separate self is an IDEA you have of yourself, and an idea can’t do anything.

    A famous Indian saint, Ramana Maharshi, suggested a method for looking for the self that he called Self Inquiry. Ask yourself, “Am ‘I’ the body?” Then, look to see if you are, until you’e sure. (Hint: If you’re the body, who is observing the body? Hmm. Maybe the body is object, not subject.)

    Then, once you realize (experientially, because you REALLY investigated this, not because I told you so) that the body isn’t the “you” you’re looking for, you could ask, “Am I my sensations, my sensory impressions?” Again, look. And, again, if you really look, you end up realizing that there is something observing these sensations. Maybe these sensations, these feelings, are object, not subject. (Your feeling of ‘I’ is actually just another feeling among feelings.)

    Then, you ask, “Am I my thoughts?” Well, once again, something is aware of these thoughts, so again, the thoughts can’t be who you are. They, too, are object, not subject.

    Maybe you are the thought “I am.” Same thing, though. Something can observe this thought. And, as with feelings, the thought of I is just another one of the thoughts.

    At this point, if you’ve really done this–not just thought about it, but really looked for the self, while really, strongly wanting (needing) to find it–you might hit a point of despare about ever succeeding. This despair takes you through the doorway into what Buddhists call emptiness, where it’s clear that there isn’t any separate self.

    A skillful teacher is one who pushes you to look until you have looked everywhere and are possibly on the edge of madness. After all, what would you do without a separate self? Who would you be? How would you get along in the world? The prospect of losing this supposed separate self, for most people, scares the shit out of them–until they experientially realize that it doesn’t exist, at which point they wonder what all fuss was about. Who needs a separate self?

    At this point it’s obvious that the body doesn’t need a separate self in order to function; that feelings happen without the need for a separate someone to feel them (the feelings ARE the feeler, just as the lightning IS the flashing); that thoughts happen without the need for a separate thinker to think them. There’s an organism, yes, but it isn’t separate from ANYTHING, and it acts and feels and thinks without the need for any sort of “self.”

  134. Terry HS says :

    I just started Purficiation Level 1 and had an experience which I thought would be fun to share.

    As I was listening to the Dive (during the 14 day acclimation period), I zoned out as usual and then sort of consciously decided to bring my attention back to the meditation.

    I became aware of the fact that I was in a very different state to the norm – I had no attachment to my thoughts and the relative world seemed like a movie – events that had caused me anxiety that day just appeared as one of many images in my mind but with no emotional investment – and no discomfort at all.

    It was like there were a bunch of different cinema screens in my mind all going on at the same time playing different events and situations that had happened in my life.

    Although I could zone in on any one that I chose – it surprises me (when I think back to it), that I wasn’t even curious about watching those movies or nostalgically reliving my past – I was just I guess you could say in a state of profound peace and lightness.

    “Gosh” I thought..”This is it”! This is how it happened for Eckhart. I’ve got to really embrace it to ‘help it along’ to ‘make it permanent’ – Internally I repeated the words “I am” – again and again, getting progressively louder, more insistent, almost violent – then the experience was gone, and it felt like I had ‘pushed it away’.

    FROM BILL: Yes, that is It. A perfect description of the experience of no-self. Isn’t it interesting that when this happens all the contents of your awareness seem distant and unimportant–including those that you usually think are crucial. Just pure and empty awareness, with the contents of awareness somehwere out there, orbiting far away. Congratulations. Now, though, don’t cling to the experience. Who knows when it will happen again. Just keep meditation, and keep observing your mind.

    The Purification levels are definitely an amazing experience.

  135. Gosia says :

    I remember reading for the first time about non-existance of separate self and it did scare the shit out of me. As I got used to this idea it became pretty common, almost a cliche, yet still it’s entirely intelectual.

    You can tell (prove) me a 1000 times that this is the case and I do and will belive you but I swear I don’t feel it. If I’m not to pretend, it is maybe the only thing I’m 100% sure of – all the people in the world may be just concepts, but sorry, it doesn’t appeal to me. No matter what I believe or crave for. Damn it I know it better don’t I?

    Thank you for broadening my perspective!!

    P.S. Love you sense of humour XD

    FROM BILL: I’m amazed that anyone can feel it. Feeling the separate self is like feeling the equator, or feeling the number 3. The self is an IDEA about who you are. Why would learning that your idea of you isn’t you scare you? That’s kind of like eating the menu instead of the food, or camping on those little triangles on a map, thinking that the map is the real territory. You have an idea of who you are, but who you really are includes your connection to everything. Your idea of you is puny and leaves out most of who you are. Why cling to it?

  136. Sam says :

    I don’t already have it at all. Meditation people always talk about this water thing, but I’ve never gotten what that meant. They also talk in some mysterious ways about rain, but I’m not quite sure what that means either. What I’m always getting at is that there is a huge amount of resources hiding within holosync and other technologies, and I imagine that this water thing is getting these resources to flow. I really appreciate what you do and really enjoy it when you stretch yourself beyond your limits to show us about these resources, and it seems (to me at least) that you let things flow a lot better when you’re in your passion and are really enjoying what you’re doing. I just hate to see you doing something that you’re not really enjoying because it’s difficult to get things to flow when we’re swimming upstream, however this is probably my perception of what’s going on rather than anything about you. I’ve seen several ecxamples of you when you’re really in your flow (so to speak) and when you shine really brightly, and it just seemed to me at a certain point that perhaps you aren’t shining as brightly as I know you’re capable of because your heart’s not really in it. This could be due to people not really getting it and posting in problems or other such things, or it could be people like me who like to sturr things up (for better or worse). I see a huge potential in you that still has to be tapped and I want to really encourage you to be a beaken that shines through the darkness to guide us home (although this probably sounds a bit sappy or a eutopian way of leading us to the prommice land or something) however perhaps what I’m doing isn’t helping. I probably just have way too much time on my hands.

    It seems to me that the idea of selling water by the river is just what ancient buddhist and zen buddhist teachings are trying to tell us to do, however unless one is deep enough into the religion to get past the “ism” notions often attached to them one often wonders how this is possible. Buddhists talking about how to use attachment to fulfill an unfulfilled desire, quenching our thirst by those things which supposedly buddhism is telling us to get rid of (like desire). This doesn’t make a lot of sense to people, and I commend you for going so far as to tackle this idea; it’s a really noble endevour. Although I’m not a meditation teacher I would encourage you to keep going until you can take the whole world through this experience, but my standards are really high; even I can’t live up to them, so how can I expect you to? Nervana is an unconditioned state which is described as non-duel (hence nervana isn’t really a thing but an idea not to be attained ever) and I’m asking you to explain it with language which by its very nature is duelistic and requires conditions to fit within the framework of the language. I’m impossible, and I appologize for that, but I’ve come here for a definite major purpose and I love that you’re part of it; just be the part of you that you love as much as I do.

    FROM BILL: Sam, you’re never going to get this unless you shut your mind up and quit thinking yourself to death. I’ve told you before. Quite trying to figure this out. Your mind is what is keeping you from experiencing it, and you keep it going all the time. Give it a rest.

  137. Chris says :


    Please help. Of course I’m a separate self! I eat, I sleep, I decide what to do when I get up in the morning and go about my day. Everyone looks like they are separate from me. I touch objects and move them around. I feel pain in my body sometimes. I take in input from my environment and I decide what to do with it.

    Sometimes I feel connected when little “coincidences” happen and someone answers a question spontaneously that I’ve been thinking about, or when I see a system at work that involves me and a lot of other things or people too.

    I watch my thoughts lots of the time — that’s how I grow and make better decisions! I watch my feelings and I really “get” that they come from inside me and not from anyone or anything else now. I “get” that most people are just walking around interacting with me based on ideas of themselves, and I’m doing the same much of the time. This has REALLY become obvious to me lately. And it’s really obvious how my choices (even the unconscious ones) affect the conversation, the interaction, and especially the outcome of the whole darn situation.

    But it’s still ME doing all this stuff, right? I decide to move my hands over these keys, and they type out these words. Please help. I don’t understand.

    One time I was looking up at the stars when I was younger and was imagining who God must be to create all of the stars, planets, galaxies, and little old me down here on earth. Then I remember wondering, “Well, who created God?” And it sent my brain for a loop, and then I remember feeling very at peace, very in awe of everything for a few hours.

    Several months ago I was just about at the end of my rope emotionally, in an unfamiliar place, with nothing I could do about my situation. As I was sitting there feeling helpless, a wonderful calm came over me that made me feel so loved and cared-for — more so than any time I’d ever felt so before. I couldn’t speak (and didn’t want to) because it was so powerful, and I remember just wanting to stay in that forever.

    Were these the times when I was feeling and experiencing the connectedness you are talking about? How do I feel this way more of the time?


    FROM BILL: First of all, you will NEVER understand this. It isn’t understandable. Anything you understand about anything is just an idea about it–but it isn’t it. Would understanding something about strawberries tell you how they taste? Of course not. Ideas about strawberries aren’t strawberries. So first of all, this isn’t about understanding. Understanding, even if you could do it, is the booby prize in life.

    Yes, there is an organism there. If moves, it respondes to stimuli, and so forth. But there’s no need for a separate self to “do” these things. The self is an IDEA, not a solid, real thing. Your mind thinks there is a separate agent that does these things, but really the organism doesn’t have, and doesn’t need–and could never have–a separate self.

    First of all, everything you do is a response to your environment. The organism and the environment are one system. Where is the “separate” agent in all this? NOTHING is separate from the whole, nothing acts or decides or thinks or responds except in response to everything else. This makes it impossible for there to be some SEPARATE agent who could decide anything.

    What you think is a self making a decision is an organism responding. In the case of a human being, the responses can be very complex, because the mind that stores the programs for responding is quite complex. But there isn’t a self in there initiating anything. You type in response to something. Doing happens, yes. Responses happen. It just SEEMS as if there is a self in there directing it.

    The “self” is a collection of ideas, nothing more. When you type something, ask yourself who is doing it. Look for that separate agentic self. See if you can find it. That’s the practice. You might also ask, who is looking to find a separate self?

    The experience of no-self can happen, but there’s no one for it to happen to. You describe a couple of experiences of it in your post. It’s there. As long as an identification with this idea of yourself, though, the no-self experience will be elusive.

    I strongly suggest that you come to one of Genpo Roshi’s and my weekend workshops. And, of course, use Holosync. The experience of no-self is, in a way, an accident. Big Mind and Holosync, however, make you more accident prone.

    See Terry’s recent post–it’s three posts above or below yours (not sure which).

  138. Money Play says :

    “hold on loosely, but dont let go. if you cling to tightly, you’re gonna lose control”

    I think 38 Special knew what was up with being attached versus having preferences :)

  139. Bill,

    I see a lot of posts asking what is the separate self. In my mind the separate self is a perspective, a way to see and experience life. That’s why we say “I cry” or “I laugh”, but its more like the universe is crying or laughing. It’s just doing it from that particular perspective. That perspective is what we think of as ME.

    I would say that even animals identify themselves as a ME (all the way down to viruses) that’s why they run when being chased, but again, it’s the universe running from itself.

    When we become more aware of this, we see that the separate self is not solid, that it changes moment to moment whether we want it or not, and we are liberated from that particular perspective. As I understand it, it is this tendency to have fixed ideas and ways to see the world what causes our suffering. Maybe that’s why The Buddha said “The correct view is no view”.

    I also don’t think we can COMPLETELY let go of the separate self. If so we wouldn’t jump when a car is about to hit us. I don’t think even the most enlightened zen master does that (Though I know of monks that set themselves on fire).

    That’s why this enlightenment stuff is a trap. Because EVERYTHING we try to do to go beyond the self is false. As long as we identify with a separate self trying to become enlightened it will never happen. No matter how much we expand our perspective, it will always be limited.

    And the funny thing is that even if it happens (and we have an experience of no-self for an extended period of time), we still feel fear and anxiety. I guess the difference is that we know in the back of our minds that it doesn’t matter anyway, that It’s just a game of opposites that goes on forever and ever.

    Actually the ME that started writing this post is now utterly gone.

    Anyway, I think all we say about this is pretty much bullshit, but it’s fun to make maps and models about it, even if it is just a finger pointing at the moon (as they say in zen), because in reality there is no moon.

    Love to all,


    FROM BILL: Beatifully said, from someone to whom those reading this blog should listen, as he knows what he is talking about from personal experience.

  140. Thank you Bill,

    You made me blush…..Is in it funny to recommend to listen to someone who says “it’s all pretty much bullshit” ?

    But seeing that it’s all bullshit is the most liberating thing there is.

    I find that a good approach is to learn to love our own bullshit, because it’s our own creation, to become one with it, be honest about it and enjoy every second of it.

    Thanks again for helping me in seeing that.

    Love to all you seekers.


  141. luis says :

    Gracias por la informacion, pregunto si el sistema lo tienen en español o como podria yo aqui en Mexico, difundirlo
    Mexico, D.F.

  142. Terry Heart Solomon says :

    Thanks for your comments.

    Your enthusiasm was very encouraging but kind of caught me off guard, as after I had the experience, I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t a permanent shift. I hear what you’re saying about not being attached to it though.

    It was definitely interesting to not be emotionally affected by life. It’s strange because as I think about it now – it’s as though I had a super-human ability – to just zone into any memory of my life that I wanted. As I type this, that’s quite fascinating – but when I was in that state, it was so irrelevant it didn’t even occur to me. I knew I could do it but didn’t care. I lwas just…….space.

    From your perspective what is the significance of this experience? And would you say that the no-self state is the same as the transcendent?

    FROM BILL: Yep.

  143. richard mccaul says :

    hyy bill really cool i find my self in the evenings after a long day in a relaxed kinda no mind non perceving state almost a pure awarness.the results have suprised me as im at awking level 1. ps iv dedicated a youtube channel to holosync hope dont mind

  144. Terry HS says :

    I must say that after the experience I was somewhat disappointed that it didn’t result in a permanent shift.

    I was however encouraged by your enthusiastic response. Thank you.

    It was definitely strange to be seeing these ‘stressful’ thoughts and not feeling the anxiety usually associated with them. Is this no self state the same as the transcendent?

    If so I can sort of see how it might be viewed as dysfunctional in certain ways – because you’re just so detached – nothing matters.

    Eckhart has said that early in his shift he had a couple of years where he was so immersed in being, he lost the ability to do. It took a couple of years to integrate the experience, and come to a place where he was functional in the world again.

    Could you tell me from your perspective what the significance of the experience was in my case?

    FROM BILL: Go back and read my post about the 5 stages of enlightenment.

  145. Terry HS says :

    I’ve read them (and listened to them) countless times. They talk about the inhabitance of the various stages. They don’t explain why a singular brief experience of no-self might be significant.

    I would really find an answer to this question helpful. Is there any significance to a brief experience such as this or not? If so, what is it?


    Oh and apologies for sending the duplicate posts – it looked as though the first one didn’t go through.

    FROM BILL: This is why I suggested you read that post–your experience is a description of the first Rank of Tozan (of 5 Ranks). Of course an experience of emptiness is valuable. It is a stage that ultimately can lead to embodying the transcendent all the time. And, as I said in that post, there are stages after that where you integrate that embodiment with the relative world.

  146. Sam says :

    I just wanted to say to Terry HS that it’s really cool that we seem to be on the same level of holosync, I assume starting at around the same time, because it also sounds that we’re having some similar types of experiences. I’m not sure if this is due to the level of holosync or due to wear our internal map “tells” us to focus on, but I find it interesting nevertheless because it helps to proove that we’re all connected. Rather than trying to figure out which experience to be in, and which is the trancendent virsus our regular lives etc, I find it rather useful to simply note which one I appear to be in and recognize when I’m shifting from one to another. It’s possible to get into a sort of space where you can watch several movies at once with respect to memory and imagination and with practice we can start to control and influence those which are within our personal internal map of reality, however I believe that this is simply a natural progression of our human evolution; we are re-descovering and developing an ability we had as infints to imagine our world in differing ways than those which our internal map dictates, and to many people this re-integration often feels like a state of sorts. If you all of a sudden found yourself experiencing life from the perspective of a baby you might indeed feel that there has been a shift in state and often times this type of thing has triggered what Bill calls ahaha moments, however when we get more advanced in our cognition these types of things will become common place and we won’t place as much emphasis on the whole “trancendent” aspect of our nature; we’ll hopefully be having too much fun to bother adding labels like trancendent to our experience, just as most people don’t notice shifts in their breath which those who look for such things might call mystical experiences.

    I want to thank you for your continued input here because this really helps me in my own experience. Just to know that someone else out there is experiencing similar types of things that I am makes me feel more secure in what I’m going through, and gives me faith that my practice of discovery is actually working. It also informes me that I’m really not that special, because others (who are on the same level with respect to holosync) are experienceing the same or very similar phinomena, and it also means that I’m not alone in this. When one person experiences something amazing we all benefit from that integration, and it really helps when someone smart articulates it for those of us who may otherwise be unable to do so for ourselves.

  147. Terry HS says :

    Thank you Bill for your response. You are quite right and that post does actually answer my question. How fascinating to learn that I have now entered the 1st rank of Tozan. It’s nice to know that my efforts are moving me in the right direction.

    I’d like to say another thank you to Sam whose comments have given me great encouragement. There aren’t too many people I can talk to about these experiences as so few (relatively speaking) are on this path.So this blog and the Centerpointe support team are a real gift.

    I had a pretty tough time yesterday and it was really helpful to speak to one of the coaches. She helped me remember the importance of taking responsibility for my emotional state. When I notice bad feelings – I’ll sometimes repeat internally “I’m responsible, I’m responsible, I’m responsible…” and I find it really softens the edge and gradually melts away the discomfort.

    When I was having my freak out yesterday – I was paying attention to the beliefs that were emerging and thinking back to it find some of them quite shocking. I guess the thing is to own these thoughts and allow them to develop and mature into something worthwhile.

    Anyway, thanks again.

    Best to all,


    FROM BILL: When you are in emotional distress I would focus on what internal pictures you are making and what you are saying to yourself–along with watching the sensations in your body. The internal picture and dialog, along with any other internal representations (sounds, smells, tastes) directly create your feelings. In watching these you see exactly HOW you are creating the feeling. Just saying you’re responsible might take the edge off, but seeing exactly what you’re doing to create the feeling gives you choice. In fact, when you really see how YOU are doing the feeling, you can’t keep doing it if it’s a bad feeling. If you saw how you’re doing it, why would you keep doing it? The awareness creates choice.

  148. Kirsten says :

    Very intriguing post! I definitely have much to ponder. Thanks for sharing your insights!

  149. Grace says :

    Hello Bill,
    I enjoyed your blog and appreciate what you’re explaining. Tonight, I do understand what you’re saying, with luck,I may also understand tomorrow.
    Thank You for sharing your wisdom and love of humanity with us.

  150. carlos says :

    Hi Bill,

    I am now doing Purif 1 disc 3 . Great improvements have happened in my mental and emotional states. However sometimes holocync brakes me down REALLY bad.

    I remember that you said that most people start letting things be ok somewhere between awak 4 and purf 1 . When I did the first cd of purif 1 a couple of months ago I didnot felt almost any upheaval. I was so happy thinking .” great I guess the bad part is over”. And then the cd #2 got me really bad.

    When the upheaval is moderate I can deal with it using different methods. On certain occasions the upheaval is so overwhelming that it feels like there is no way I can deal with that in the moment , other than just taking it.

    In those moments I still know in the back of my head that my resisting is causing it. I see my thoughts , my pictures , my focus on what I resist but still It seems to strong and real to even think of doing something about it or let it be ok. I think my resisting the awareness created by holocync has also reflected in my life in a negative way . when I hit one of those bumps I lose motivation and momentum and I sabotage myself .

    Overall though the program has been great , and now I naturally do things (that work for me) that I thought it would be very hard to do before holocync. I dont engage in drama with other people , I dont judge others much, I accept others and accept what is ( except on those periods of upheaval) , I stand for myself effortlessly, I dont take things personally , I am way lighter and more myself.


    FROM BILL: Now all you have to do is stop resisting those parts of being human you think are wrong or bad.

  151. Bill,

    I was thinking about this idea of reincarnation. I have been experiencing this “I have been here before” feeling. But is not like saying “I was Napoleon, or Cleopatra” in my past life. It’s more like the common feeling of having been a ME before. Of course this may just be another delusion of the mind anyway, but…

    However, I think Buddhist and Hindus are speaking from a different level of consciousness when they refer to this. As Alan Watts says it, there are two possibilities. Either we die and “reincarnate” in a different body, but don’t remember our “past life”. Or we die and “some body else” is born. But in reality both options are the same. Either way we will experience ourselves as a ME that is now completely different.

    So in a way we are ALL (including animals, plants, or maybe even atoms) reincarnations of that same “I AM” feeling. Just with different “stories”. But of course we identify so much with those particular stories that we end up believing that I am different from YOU.

    But YOU and I and Everybody else reading this are in fact different “incarnations” of The Self which is kind of this I AM feeling, and that is only one. That’s why Bill or Santiago CAN’T wake up, because they are just stories, what wakes up is The Self, which is not a story. And it doesn’t matter when the story dies, because that Self (that sense of BEING) will always be here, just as a different story, as a different perspective. I think that is what they mean with reincarnation, is not the story that reincarnates, (besides that would be boring, the fun of the game is actually being somebody else, completely new).

    So in a way, by disidentifying with the story and identifying with the Self, the question of reincarnation or life and death is not even an issue.

    At least that’s the way I understand it so far.

    Love to all,


    FROM BILL: Well put.

    I happen to know, though, that you are the reincarnation of Eleanor Roosevelt. This was obvious to me the first time I set eyes on you.

  152. Dear Bill,

    HOLOSYNC gives me the feeling that I am ready to experience the
    insights you are going to bring me: I am looking forward to it!!

    When I listend to the CD you sent me, the music at the background gave me experiences through my body and it felt good.

    I am very grateful that I discovered HOLOSYNC: it just happend and
    that’s why I know that I am ready for this.

    Thank you beforehand!!

    Love and Light


  153. Jean says :

    Thank you Bill. Life is different. It is better…. I ride the upheavals with grace and witnessing. My life is better and i am in “IT”. It is refreshing.

  154. Yes, that was before being the 6th patriarch…. anyway, is nice to see you again gran pa Theodore.

  155. shawnesey says :

    carlos, i’m on disc 4 of the same level. i still have peaks and troughs. you’re not failing at this. thank god i just saw your post, ’cause i don’t know what’s normal for this level… yes, the dips are there, but there seems to be a general upward trend. stick with it, man.

  156. jason hall says :

    Hey Bill i no what you saying about the one energy thing and how it can be great to just cut loose from the formed and stop acting for a little while, its great to go sit at a train station and just witness everyone acting out a suit so to speak or skirt .



  157. Chris says :

    Hi Bill,

    I’ve used the timeline process about 7 times so far to clear up emotional issues that I have with various things in my life. Is it ok to use it again and again, even for seemingly minor things? Possible to use it too much?



    FROM BILL: Time Line is a way to let go of emotions you’ve attached to a past experience and now attach to experiences in the present that remind you of the past experience. Why not just let go of them and skip the Time Line. If you’ve done it over and over, you must, by now, know how to let go of emotions.

  158. Chris says :

    I wish I could be with y’all in Denver!!! Please keep doing these events and I’ll be able to make it one day (I’m in Abu Dhabi right now). Thanks Bill — you don’t have to post this… just wanted to say thanks for Holosync and your LPIP courses.


  159. Mary Alice says :

    Hi Bill,

    I know you’ve got your Enlightenment and the Western Mind seminar this weekend, but when you have some time…I was wondering if you’ve ever studied String Theory or M-Theory and if you have thoughts about how it could relate to no self.

    I love your blog!
    Mary Alice

    FROM BILL: I am not an expert in string theory. Like the Self, though, string theory is an idea about reality.

  160. carlos says :

    Thank you Shawnesey for your comment and support ,

    Yes I am already on this boat and I am sticking with it all the way to the end, and although I know tha holocync wont save me from impermanence in all his forms , at least I have the consolation that as the weeks and months go by I am doing something consistently everyday to make my life a little better.


    FROM BILL: Holosync will make you more AWARE.

  161. Thank you Bill for this enlightening post, you’ve just made my day!

    I love this part in your post…

    “What’s different is that from this integrated place you have choice. Instead of unconsciously careening from one object of desire to another, from one place you think you should be to another, from one “me” you want to be to another, you consciously choose what to want, where to go, and who to be, knowing the consequences and consciously deciding to accept them. You know that whatever you become attached to eventually will be used up, fall apart, or end, but you decide to become attached anyway. This frees you to love the people and things in your life–but to do so with awareness”.

    This part tells me that ‘living in the moment’ with awareness is important to a fulfilling life in this physical realm. Wow… this is beyond words.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, Bill.


  162. Madalin says :

    Bill, I have felt all my life that the world in general, and therefore people had no real agenda or purpose. I did not have any insights about directing my life and was perplexed on how others managed it. Holosync is giving me
    the ability to see that there is nothing wrong with me for not believing in or having “a purpose in life” but I can start making my everyday life more enjoyable because I want to not because someone told me I should.
    Thank you

  163. Sam says :

    Can you do us a favor and tell us how you’re aware, instead of continuing to tell us about awareness and how holosync will bring it? Just using awareness as a placeholder for something that you can’t describe is really lame, and it’s a disservice to those who really get what’s going on. Don’t be lame anymore, for god’s sake if not your own!

  164. Sam says :

    PS: I really loved your description of your heart opening at the big mind workshop this weekend; it seemed as if a totally different Bill was speaking up there on the stage, someone who was really alive and enjoying what he was doing (perhaps only due to increased awareness at that time). Do more of that sort of awareness with us, because I’m sure that beyond a shadow of a doubt that you know full well what I mean.

  165. Kyle says :

    Hey Bill,

    Just wanted to say thanks for the Vast Sky talk Yesterday. Watched by internet.
    I thought your part was powerful. The connection was real, about the sadness, and resonated.

  166. Rae says :

    I wish there was another place on your web site for forums or just to hear other peoples experiences. I have just begun Awakening 1 and am having a difficult time. I have depression problems anyway ( they go back forever ) and as I live in England I dont use the phone help option. I have emailed. Sometimes I don’t know what is from the meditation and what is just my own stuff that I would have anyway. I realise I am only at the beginning and everyone is different but it does help to hear other peoples stories at least at this stage. I wish I had an amazing thought to put down but this is it. I have stuck to this without missing a day for 4 months and don’t intend to stop but it is pretty hard right now. Thanks for hearing me and namaste. Rae

    FROM BILL: Get skype so you can call anywhere in the world for almost nothing and DO call the support line. Also CAREFULLY read the support materals several times and do what they say. Take advantage of all the support we offer!

  167. Sam says :

    Sorry for being an asshole yesterday. It was my awareness–or lack thereof–that caused me to act that way and, although there is surely an unmet desire there, one who is so immature at times shouldn’t carry that much stuff around by oneself. If you play with fire, often you get burned in the process. Anyway I did appreciate your talk about the heart as this sort of sadness can often be the start of something really huge, and I don’t want you to stop just because. The reason that this resonated so strongly has something to do with all of us with respect to the four quadrants pertaining to integral view; it’s possible to expand the lower left quadrant, rather than being stuck in our individual perspective(s), and because you are a center of influence you could be a bridge for all of us to gain higher awareness. I hate to see such a golden opportunity be wasted. With respect to what you do at centerpointe there isn’t much talk about the quadrants, however with what you’re doing here I believe that a lot more is possible for all of us when we embrace awareness.

    You spoke on a retreat cd about how weaker people in a group are often able to work harder because the stronger nervous systems “carry” the energy that would otherwise be limiting beginning meditators at the retreat; I don’t want to offend people by talking about weak virsus strong, however when I attended a retreat I was the weaker one. We could do sort of the same thing here by way of your blog and could really give people a real flavor of what that awareness tastes like. Just imagine what that golden opportunity would be like. Also as a side effect of the awareness new powers come, specifically the power of imagination and enhanced creative abbilities. Think about it, ok? This has been studied in ancient buddhist scriptures, and I’d actually like to make the enlightenment concrete and shareable amung people; there is a lot of essoteric wisdom that may be fascilitated by holosync, and the more we engage our minds in thinking about possabilitties the more we create a sort of neural net that is readying itself for a download of awareness. It’s crazy but it just might work if you’ll use your wonderful imagination. I mean isn’t this what your first course is all about? What about the second course? And the third course, where we’re supposed to make what we want happen in the world? I want to see from your perspective what success looks like (period)!

  168. Anna says :

    Dear Rae!!!!!!!!!! Keep listening.Just keep listening.Your depression is just the dirt coming out. After a while it is gone and you will see that it was just your core belief about yourself that had created it. You start to see how unuseful the belief is. You will change your mind about yourself and the depression disappear automaticly. It is like looking for the treasure inside yourself and when you finnaly start seeing it you can taste the first drop of relief. Believe me IT IS MAGIC…!!!

  169. Sam says :

    Hi Bill! Thanks for your articles, they are relly good.
    For some weeks I have had an idea in my mind about reality that really scares me. The idea came to me after I had used the holosync demo maybe 7-8 times (I have ordered Awekening Prologue now). Its the idea that evrything and everyone are an illusion created by me, that im the only real person in the world and that thought makes me feel afraid and I feel discomfort. I dont like the idea, and it feels scarry when I think about it. It sort of have a grip of my mind, and it doesnt want to go away. I dont know what I should do.
    Thankful for answers

    FROM BILL: Since you have no evidence that it’s true, anymore than you have evidence that there are fairies on Jupiter or that there is molten chocolate at the center of the Earth, I would just give up thinking about it. When you learn something that is undeniably true, even though it might not be what you would like to be true–such as realizing that everything in the world is impermanent and eventually falls apart–acknowledging the truth of it is ironically freeing. Entertaining an idea about reality that just popped into your head, however, but for which there is no evidence, isn’t going to serve you.

    I would observe your mind and see HOW you think about this idea (do you make internal pictures, say something to yourself, or what) and what feelings are created as a result. Be a scientist and observe yourself to see how you create the feeling of uneasiness.

    Or, just decide to drop it and do something more fun. Grab your girlfriend and get naked, or whatever.

  170. Terry HS says :

    Oh wow….You are hilarious! Lol!

  171. Peter says :

    Hello Bill, thanks for the post.

    I wondered if you could answer me a question about buddhism, if you know something about it: according to buddhism we reincarnate constantly because of our ignorance and when it is uprooted, reincarnation ceases.But what happens next? And it sounds as if life is an ”accident” and that we should escape from it by shoving off ignorance.So our only purpose is to “get away” from this place?
    I don’t know if you’ve studied such buddhist teachings but you are the only person I know who has some experience with buddhism so please answer if you know something about it.

    Keep up the good work!

    FROM BILL: This is really too big of a question for me to answer in this format. Let’s just say for now that Buddhism is about seeing the human condition, including life, death, impermanence, and cause and effect, the way they really are, and for what they really are. This means seeing life without adding ideas, concepts, beliefs, or ways of trying to escape from the human condition. What you’re describing is a more superstitious view of Buddhism, which many Buddhists do put forward, rooted in a time when much less was known about science. My suggestion would be to find out about life and what it’s all about for yourself instead of deciding what to believe from a book or from what someone else says.

  172. carlos says :

    LOL!! Your comment reminded me of a friend of mine that anytime somebody got to serious or start arguing to much about something He would say ” go get a girlfriend or at least masturbate or something”


  173. richard mccaul says :

    iv had several droped off mind experiences recently on lvl 1 cd4 i think im gettin this watchin thing down too. i kinda dedicated this channel to holosync

  174. Sam says :

    I often wonder about the same thing, Sam, especially since Bill talks about how we’re creating our reality with our mind. I wonder now if this is only ones perspective though, and that perhaps if one considers being the center of the universe with everything revolving around the one–Sam or whoever–it’s possible to get some uneasiness due to the incredible energy that the person must be feeling. After all if everything centered on me, I would feel uneasy because that’s a huge responceability to take upon oneself. That’s only one perspective though and, while it sometimes can be fun, it more often causes problems than useful solutions to apply to one’s life.

    I would always in this situation try to remember that it’s always possible to take the perspective of the one, wherein everything is a direct manifestation of the one I am. However one must remember in this situation to remain in the one’s perspective, wherein the one looks out upon the many manifestations–Sam and Sam and Bill or Terry HS or Ken Wilber or whomever is the object of meditation–and observes all of the activity going on. However one sometimes attempts to look from the many manifestations onto the perspective of the one or, in other words, the many voices contained within the one attempt to focus their energies upon the one object of meditation; this causes a system crash, and should be avoided at all costs. It’s difficult because there are many points of awareness, and when these many points of interest start to consolodate their attention upon one point the energy goes all sideways and can’t function. When I recognize that my point of interest is the one I am, and that I can look from here onto the many other points of interest–and perhaps take one of them as the one I am–and simply observe things as they are, I have a lot more control and can much more readily re-own and embody what I need to function in the world.

    Above all though, recognize that nothing can hurt you and that this uneasy feeling means that something is happening; we don’t know what, but something. If you can simply let whatever happens be ok then you’re much more likely to take the ride, as if it’s a roller coaster. I often would get an uneasy feeling before riding roller coasters, however after the ride was over I’d always try to get back in line right away again. I eventually realized that that uneasiness is part of the fun of it all, and that perhaps rather than fear that uneasiness is excitement and anticipation regarding what’s about to happen? Just relax and have fun with it and it’ll all sort itself out; the figuring out part is already done, my friend, and there’s no need to go there.

  175. Terry HS says :

    I’d like to say a thank you to Richard Mccaul for posting his YT link. It’s got some really cool videos on it. The discussion with Bill and Ken is especially good – it’d be great to hear that in its entirety.


  176. T says :

    its all true. I know exactly what you are talking about. Good to know there is someone else out there.

  177. richard mccaul says :

    o thx terry im workin on that but i really like to thank bill for this amazing journey iv joined inner circle im gona enjoy my next decade probly more than my last thks bill

  178. Rae says :

    Hi again.I just wanted to say thankyou to Bill and also to Anna for answering my post.I will take the advice and Anna you nice words bring me so much hope. I thank al of you out there for listening and reading these posts are such a highlight to my day. Namaste, Rae

  179. Sam says :

    I just had a really kick ass idea while listening to holosync, and I can’t contain it anymore. We’ve talked quite a bit on this blog regarding disowned selves, and how we often need to re-identify with these disowned aspects of ourselves such that we might become a fully integrated and freely functioning human being; lord knows the world needs more of us as this time is crucial for our development and we need more embodiments regarding this. At any rate we all disown things however not all disowning is a bad thing, as we can disown things which we put in our black pile (see the post regarding the game of black and white) but we also sometimes tend to disown other things in our white pile. For instance someone else has something that I want and, rather than just talking to them and asking them if I can learn from their experience, I get all pissed off about it; actually not really, but… This disowned good stuff has been called the “golden shadow” by some and it is very powerful once one comes in contact with all of the goodies that one disowned which are beneficial. At any rate back to the point.

    I was thinking of Walt Disney and how we can reintegrate our golden shadow by way of our wonderful imagination. It would make sense as Walt Disney was human that he tended to disown things, such as we all do, and part of what he probably disowned was part of his imagination. I mean the possibilities regarding the imagination are imfinite (rather than infinite because he wouldn’t say it correctly as I imagine) so there would be no way for Walt Disney to own all of his imagination unless he approached the speed of infinity (imagine that). This is mind-blowing to me because I actually asked to speak to Walt Disney while listening to holosync by way of big mind, and some pretty cool stuff started to happen. I’ll leave the discovery up to our individual selves to evolve our imaginations, but it’s a cool entry point and something fascinating to at least consider the possibility of exploring. JUST DO IT! There is a whole city waiting for us to re-awaken, which was abandoned a long time ago in a galaxy far far away (perhaps so far away as for the trip we’re taking to take way too long for some of us) by an ancient Buddhist society, and it just takes your willingness to participate and have fun. I mean, what else are we here for? Use the force, don’t let it use you!

  180. Sam says :

    September 5, 2009 at 10:29 pm “T” says:
    its all true. I know exactly what you are talking about. Good to know there is someone else out there.

    I’m unsure. What this means.

  181. David R says :

    Hey Bill, This post reminds me AVATAR

    I did their training years ago and the space you write about was my experience, however briefly. Can recall also being at the point of discreating all that I am… but then what?

    It is interesting how the mind cannot, and quite naturally, comprehend the non mind.

    Do we exist if we cannot monitor ourselves? How do we know we exist if there is nothing to see, feel, experience?

    More to the point, isn’t that what we a re here for in the first place.

    Take the baggage and guilt of it all and experience it.

    Funny creatures these human doings….


    Here’s what I am doing when I am awake a way to make lot’s of people happier.

    FROM BILL: What makes you think you need to monitor yourself? And what makes you think that if you enter the transcendent you won’t feel anything?

  182. Haris says :

    I am on Level 3 CD3. Last 3 years have been very tough in business and personal life for me. I went through a tough divorce after a 15 year marriage, found my perfect partner and fell in love and got married. Successful business you know the Million dollar home, exotic cars just a great life. One day My wife found out she had 3 months to live with pancreatic cancer and after a tough battle of 2 years and me not working and just being with her in hospitals she passed away at a young age of 34, about 19 months ago. I ended up loosing my business and the all the glory and riches. At the middle of this I came across Holosync, been a faithful listener, the help line has been an incredible support. If I didn’t have Holosync I think I would have fallen into the trap of drugs, alcoholism because everything happened so fast and the trauma, I just depended on Holosync. I have learned to let go, however as I more time passes my energy is coming up and sometimes a the start of a new level I need to sleep 12-13 hours a day. I thought there was something wrong with me. Now I accept it and just let it be as some things are just coming to the surface and mind and body needs the healing. Instead of worry and fear I witness things and then let them go, I know my life will be back and it’s all up to me. The more I go into deeper levels of Holosync the more the awareness and not to fight, just accepting things the way they are. I have taken more time during each CD then most sometimes as long as 4 months on one CD instead of the normal 6 weeks. I know without Holosync I couldn’t be this strong and face my fears and anxiety about the past with such Gratitude that at least I had the means to be with my wife and that meant a lot to her and myself. Awareness is just beginning as I go up in the levels I know it will have much more deeper meaning. As I put my business and everything back in order at my own pace now, the appreciation of things will be far more enhanced. Now I understand what Bill has been saying as I observe friends in this economic cycle go through divorce over the loss of money and material things, they just don’t have the realization of a deeper energy within themselves that nothing on the outside can effect them, it is always the energy inside you and Holosync the just make you so aware. Letting go is the best gift from Holosync!! As I realize most all live in the past, the past emotions and past stays with us and repeats itself. Learning how to live in the present moment and being the observer, the witness is the Holosync solution.

    FROM BILL: Very well expressed. Good for you for being open enough to have these insights and to want to embody them. Keep going. It gets even better as you go deeper into the program.

  183. Terry HS says :

    Wow. I’d like to say a thank you to Haris for having the courage to share such personal challenges so openly. His courage and resilience is inspirational.

  184. Chris says :

    I’ve been using Holosync for about 2 months so far, and thought I’d respond to Sam’s post from Sept 3rd above.

    I’ve been meditating for years, and about a year ago, I hit a snag. Every time I would meditate, I’d get paranoid that something sinister was lurking, and just waiting to catch me ‘unawares’ and do something undesirable. I would also get frequent nightmares along the same lines. No matter what I did, I could not shake this feeling when meditating, so I decided to just stop meditating all together, after trying all kinds of ‘tricks’.

    After starting Holosync, I reading through some of the support materials, I came across some of Bill’s writing on the ‘Witness Position’, and thought it was interesting. I quietly filed it away in the back of my mind, and carried on.

    About a month ago, (a month into using Holosync), the paranoia suddenly came back while I was meditating. It left me quite distressed the first time, but after thinking about it, I decided to try the ‘Witness Position’ the next time it occurred.

    The very next time I used Holosync, it happened again, and this time, I chose to become aware of it in a different way. I felt the initial panic, but then focused on ‘watching’ myself get agitated… just observing. Almost miraculously, within a few moments, the paranoia was gone, and I couldn’t help but quietly chuckle, and marvel at how easy that had been.

    Interestingly, I haven’t had the problem since!

    So to Sam, and anyone else who has a similar issue, definitely try ‘observing your agitation’ while in the meditative state. It works!

  185. CJ says :

    Hey Bill…. Just a little question, are you gonna update these new blogs in your iTunes Podcast? I love listening to your blog on my iTunes while I am driving, it really makes the whole experience really awesome. thanks for all your hard work.

  186. Bobagua says :

    Dear Bill
    This sight is new for me and I must say I love it, especially your blogs. I find it a little disappointing though that you are charging so much – 1295 dollars- for an event. What happens to the people that don’t have the good fortune to possess so much money and experience such a ‘ historic event ‘? I don’t mean to sound cynical because it’s obvious that you have helped and are helping many people out there . I look forward to using the CDs in the near future. Many thanks…Bob

    FROM BILL: First of all, it’s not my event, so I have nothing to do with what it costs. Second, it costs money to put on an event, and those who put it on, present at it, help with the logistics, provide the meeting room, and so forth, deserve to be paid. There are many things in life that cost more money than some people can pay. My suggestion would be to find a way to be of service to others that allows you to make enough money to buy whatever you want.

  187. Glenn says :

    I haven’t started to use Holosync yet, but I have been reading up on it. these changes that I read of are amazing. it would almost be hard to believe if I weren’t hearing it from so many people. I just started using “The Secret” a little while ago, and that small change in thinking made a huge difference in my life, so how much more would it be changed if I were to do to do this…. The possibilities seem endles!

    Thanks, Glenn

  188. Heikki says :

    Hello Bill!

    Im now doing purif 1 cd 4. And Im telling that Im living in middle of heaven now. Really. Yes, everything is so perfect in my life and in my world. Everything, what ever happens, its still “perfect”.

    I want to share an experience of my own.

    My mother died couple of months ago, and I saw her lying on the floor, dead as a stone.

    At the same time when I felt great sadness because I will not see her never again, I felt also much, much greater gratitude that I have had spend over 4 decades with her.

    When my father died 15 years ago, I spend long time with “vodkabottles” and never had really time to think what I feel. I just wanted desperately to forget it.

    Gratitude, it is really “the key-world/feeling”. And I found it with holosync.

    The journey will continue

    Bill, be well;-)

    FROM BILL: Yes, almost everyone once they get into the Purification levels says what you are saying about life. My biggest challenge is getting across to people just how potent and amazing Holosync is without seeming like I must be overstating it. You said it beautifully.

  189. […] like this Bill Harris’ writings and I think his message here is one of the true keys to living happily as a human […]

  190. John says :

    RE: carlos says: August 25, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    [1] I too am at Purifcation-1 but CD-1, not CD-3. I have also been worried that many of my previous changes have flown out the window. I get angry at trivial things and intolerant of others to mention a couple. Maybe I should just ride out the storm in the hope that progress will resume with CD-2 or -3.

    [2] On the subject of “emptiness” and searching for that which we already are- I have recently been diagnosed as an Asperger’s Syndrome person. It explains a great deal about the way I function, including why I don’t “get it” when doing various self-improvement courses like Life Principles Integration Process, Learning Strategies, Sedona, BMBH etc. And it throws up the question of what my purpose is in life – I’d better find out soon as I’m78 already :-)

    [3] Being told to just accept the emptiness doesn’t cut it. Focusing my mind on the opposite doesn’t either. I would really like to know how Holosync might help me cope with Asperger’s Syndrome or if it will have any effect. The Holosync Support people were unable to offer any advice beyond “just keep on keeping on”.

    FROM BILL: Holosync has helped many people with Asperger’s, including my son.

    Emptiness just means that nothing has any intrinsic separate identity apart form its relationship to everything else. All you have to do is look around to see that. I’m not asking you to accept anything. I’m asking you to look with awareness, whether it’s at the fact that everything exists in relationship to everything else, or whether it’s to watch your own internal processes, which is what I’m asking you to do in the online courses. There is NOTHING to “learn” in these courses. Everything you might learn is by observing how your own internal processes create how you feel, how you behave, which people and situations you attract, and what all that stuff happening around you “means.”

    When you have upheaval while using Holosync is does NOT mean you aren’t making progress. It means that you are becoming aware of more of your own unconscious shadow stuff and are resisting it. Stop resisting and it will feel better. The more you become aware of this stuff, the less you will unconsciously create suffering for yourself, so this IS progress (though the resistance is unnecessary).

  191. elizaveta says :

    I have been using Holosync on and off for the last month or so, together with other techniques.

    I think it’s a useful tool.

    I also don’t think it is an end-all to anything.

    Be honest with yourself, respect yourself and your experiences and read some books by Shakti Gawain – and you’ll save yourself some money and frustration.

    Enjoy life and be of service to others.


    FROM BILL: Holosync increases awareness. Lack of awareness underlies all the problems of life THAT YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT (there are plenty you can’t do anything about). Meditation makes you more aware. Holosync meditation makes you MUCH more aware, and does it faster. I have never said that Holosync is an “end-all.” There is no end-all. Holosync does, however, make the user much happier, much more peaceful inside, much clearer mentally, and much more aware. That’s actually quite a lot.

  192. Dee says :

    Wow! What good stuff to read. Many laughs and a light heart.
    This is my second page and look forward to reading all sometime soon.
    Your answers are very informative.
    Thanks to everyone again for sharing.

  193. Cassandra says :

    Hi Bill,

    I just had an experience this evening that I want to share with you and your readers. I have been experiencing the “dark nite of the soul,” where I felt I was in “nothingness” – the void. I doubted everything, every belief system, and even your teachings, Bill.

    I decided to confide to my mother about my depression. She was frantic and quickly said, “Did you call your doctor for medication,” and so on. I understand a mother’s concern, but we as a culture are soon to cover up anything that is unpleasant. Depression is so unacknowledged; maybe that is why some of us have to carry this shadow. How quickly we’re told it is not ok. How soon we pathologize it and want to medicate, suffocate this so-called demon. It such an invalidation to me, saying that I’m not ok. I am ok even when depression has me in its grips.

    I decided to voice dialog with the mature and immature depression using Genpo Roshi’s technique. It was powerful. Oh, how I love awakening!



  194. Tom 80305 says :

    Bill, someone in my extended family has Asperger’s and I did call in to your help line and ask about. They were guarded in their reply (rightly so), so I didn’t pursue it. But I am interested in your personal experience, how Holosync helped your son. Is he more socially adept? Can he cope better with life? How long did it take? How bad was his condition to start with? Etc.
    It is so painful to watch this young man in my family, see his pain, and think he may “not get it” like John (and by the way John, my best to you and I hope you do “get it” before you leave us.)

    FROM BILL: Of course we are not touting Holosync as a cure for Aspergers, first of all. We may be doing some clinical studies soon about that and a number of other conditions about which we’ve had extensive positive feedback from customers over the years.

    My son has used Holosync, though not regularly. When he has used it I have seen remarkable changes in the short term (he’s depressed and won’t speak to anyone, he listens for 30 minutes and his entire mood changes, for instance). The longer-term effect that I would expect would require more regular use (which you are motivating me to make happen).

    We do have quite a bit of feedback from people who have used Holosync with autistic kids (including teenagers and young adults) and the feedback is quite encouraging–less acting out, better language skills, more calmness, more eye contact, and so on.

    I would not hesitate to get relatives suffering from something in the Aspergers spectum to use Holosync, as I suspect that it will be very helpful. Let me know what happens.

  195. Samuel says :

    My girlfriend also has Asperger syndrome. I have introduced holosync to her. I really want ot help her. She is the sweetest and most beatiful girl on earth

  196. Hi,

    Just began reading this post and the first paragraph pretty much summed up what I’ve been experiencing…

    “All ideas dissolve–ALL ideas. Ideas, premises, beliefs, theories, maps of reality, are seen as inconsequential, insubstantial, uninteresting, beside the point. Instead, there’s just an infinitely deep peace, a vast expansiveness, a deep and profound knowingness about the essence of it all–and, the realization that all of this is who you are.”

    I’ve adopted this way of being recently and I thought it was indifference and shutting the planet out , but this didn’t make any sense. I’m deeply content but find it increasingly difficult to even envision let alone give an opinion about anything. It’s like what is the point. I find myself laughing internally to myself everytime I am in a conversation and feel prompted to add something but the desire to do so dissipates. I find myself just listening to others and being ok with that. That which I had to work at before seems to just occur naturally now. It used to worry me how people reacted to what they perceived as indifference. Now there is just a feeling of ok.
    So anyway I thought I would post back. I’ve just started awakening 3 and resistance breaks through in days rather than weeks. I’m looking forward to future growth and new experiences.
    My deepest gratitude for the profound difference that you and Holosync technology have made in my life.

  197. Marcus says :

    Margaret – I’m at that place where I think adding to a conversation is pointless. Is that what you meant? Maybe I’m thinking that most conversation is meaningless, yet that is how we interact, so we must do it. This is hard to express.

    Thanks for posting what you said.

  198. Greg Brown says :

    Hello Bill,

    What an astonishing article. Yet somehow I’ve always known all that, including having had a “dropped-off body-mind” experience (although at the time I didn’t know that’s what it was). I had the experience one day many years ago when I asked God a simple question (while in the shower, if you can imagine that). I asked, “What is existence?” And damn if He didn’t answer me. Unfortunately I wasn’t prepared mentally or emotionally for the incredibly overwhelming experience and so I only have a memory of having had the experience (meta-memory, I suppose). I do not remember anything from the revelatory experience itself (and there may be nothing to remember except that, as you’ve pointed out many times, existence is all interconnected). But I do remember that I was absolutely convinced I totally understood what all of existence was, and I felt it was a kind of “knowing” that I assumed could be remembered. I wept bitterly for hours after I realized my focus on the emotional nature of the experience caused me to forget (actually ignore by virtue of my placing my focus elsewhere) what had been revealed. I felt I had wasted an unimaginably valuable gift that many have spent their whole lives trying to acquire. And for me it all happened in a matter of a few seconds. Thank you for reminding me of one of the main reasons I undertook Holosync meditation. I very much would like to have that experience again, but this time be better prepared for it.

  199. George Amabile says :


    Health. A matrix
    of jewelled afternoons,

    hard shadows on glazed snow,
    the sun, splintering, through evergreens.

    Such definition. Exhilaration
    a quick lick of blue light, and wind

    like raw silk in the lungs
    on the trails, thighs powdering through drifts

    or gliding over the rhythmic slither-hiss and glass
    clicks where waxed edges plough the small ice

    lace, and bunched, roughed up snow goes by like the white rush
    in a speedboat’s wake and the breath is pulled in or measured out

    by body heat, stoked and banked in its nest of layered cottons
    and polyester skins, until the everyday word chains clear

    off and I can see how language is an architecture
    of knives scissoring this from that, I from my structured

    muscled bone, we from they, and everything else
    from the world in which it lives, a habit I learned

    when my pulse abandoned childhood, a contract
    with factual destinies that hang like snow packs

    over the landscapes we cruise through
    so easily we forget to ask how we got them

    around us, or how we can leave them
    out of our dreams.

  200. Good post mate. Can I book mark your site into Spurl? I couldnt find it added there.

  201. Alessandro says :

    Hi Bill. What you generally says makes sense and is something everyone knows but in some way neglects and pushes down, pretending as if life is made of bills to pay and kids to raise (or whatever). Many of your thoughts reflect what castañeda says in his books: this sense of oneness, this controlled folly, this expanded awareness, and the final discovery of the totality of oneself. In my life I have often been thinking that way, since my childhood and withouth reading any books or following any seminars. However I have not found that inner peace and greater happiness. The approach to the Eastern phylosophy seems to me another interpretation of the unknown. I do not exclude that my awareness is too low to make me realise that we are only this unique flow of energy, but at any rate I am having a very hard time accepting the fact that we all are the same, and no matter who we are or what we do..we all go to the same place. I am having a hard time believing that life is a play and we all are actors playing roles, and that awareness is the key. I might be biased but I still have a strong Catholic inherithance leading me to believe that life has a meaning, it is not just a play. I still have this voice inside saying that who does Good will walk through a different path from who does Bad. And Good and Bad are not just the result of our internal map of realities. By definition Good is Love and Bad is its opposite. To be more specific: to help somebody without any interest or expectation in return is Love; to kill or hurt somebody for one’s own interest, entertainment or pleasure is Bad. For how unintentional or not premeditated can our actions be, we are responsible and there is a price to pay for everything. As well as there is a reward at the end of the road for those who deserve it. I still believe in duality and responsibilities that will be carried over the next life. At this present stage and from my perspective God is not just an idea. And yet, as you said, I feel that something is missing, that whatever I achieve is never enough, that happiness fades away as soon as I reach my targets in life. And then I get lost

    FROM BILL: Everyone makes sense of and navigates through life using the best method they can find. Methods work until new evidence shows us the ways that they don’t work. As long as your method works for you, great. You did say, however, that you have not found the peace you’ve been seeking. Hmmm.

    I have never said that we are all the same. I have never said that life is a play and we are the actors (I have said that life is LIKE a play where God is playing all the parts–this was a metaphor used to make a certain point about life). I have said that awareness is the key to life, or at least to gain choice over those parts of life over which we can exercise choice.

    Yes, all actions have consequenes, something I have said repeatedly. If you do things that cause suffering for yourself or others, there will be consequences. What you think is “good”, however is not universal. Someone else thinks your good isn’t good.

    You are assuming that in saying that goodness and badness are ideas you assign to things, and that nothing is intrinsically good or bad that I’m advocating that “anything goes” and that without a clear idea of what is good or bad people will run wild, but that isn’t the case. The way I am navigating my life doesn’t involve dividing the world into good and bad in the way you’re describing it so I can do good and avoid bad. I navigate in another way (I do it, but I know I’m making it up, and I do it in most cases without a lot of intensity–everyone plays the Game of Black and White; some just play with awareness, consciously, and some don’t) .

    The problem with the good vs bad method is that, first of all, what is good and bad is arbitrary (as I just pointed out) and differ from person to person. And, good and bad are ideas, not physical realities. At a certain point some people have the realization that things don’t fit in neat packages. The world is full of contradictions and paradoxes, and a set of rules might be helpful, but no set of rules applies to every situations. Then what do you do? It’s when a person gets in a serious situation where this happens that they realize that the good/bad game have limited utility. Temporarily they are at sea, with no way to navigate, but at some point they move to the next developmental level, where they find a way to deal with the fact that there is no neat and orderly way to deal with every situation. You might go back and read my series on this blog on human development, with this question in mind, as one’s relationship with good/bad, right/wrong is one of the things that “develops.”

    Personally, I look at the consequences of what I do, and whether what I do creates suffering for me or for others (which is not the same as whether or not it is “good” or “bad”). Because I don’t see people as “others” what I might do to create suffering for them creates suffering for me. I don’t mean this in a philosophical or theoretical sense. I clearly see how the cause and effect of the situation will play out, and I see how causing you or someone else suffering really is causing me suffering. This isn’t a moral position, though it might look like one from the outside.

    Duality is looking at things in terms of polarities: good.bad, here/there, buying/selling, here/there, up/down, having/not having, sick/well, alive/dead, me/not me, better/worse, etc. I’m not sure what it means to “believe in” duality. All of these terms I listed are ideas about reality (in fact, beliefs are ideas about reality). This is what Shakespeare meant when he said, “Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

    Such ideas have utility in navigating life, to be sure. They are, however, just IDEAS about reality. They are not the reality they represent. They come from your mind, and are not intrinsic to the realities they describe.

    The real secret of metaphysical, and really of life itself, is that those things that look to be in opposition are really allies–they go together, they make up a single unit, not two oppositional differences. The oppositional difference are mental, not real. Each side of each polarity depends on the other for its very definition. There is also no clear dividing life between each side (except in your mind–where does up end and down begin, or good end and bad begin?).

    A person who sees that all supposed oppositional ideas (including good and bad) are really one unit, one unified field (rather than being at war with each other, as most people assume) has a completely different relationship to the universe that someone who is playing an unconscious version of the Game of Black and White, where White must win.

    You’re looking at this as a set of ideas to be evaluated and compared to some other set of idea, where one is chosen as better that the other. This is really what “I believe in duality” means. One dogma, one description of reality, one set of rules for natigating life, is seen as better than another. I’m not suggesting this, however. I’m not presenting this as a possible competing dogma and asking you to possibly choose it. I describing a way of seeing things that only makes sense if one has had certain realizations, and these realization don’t come from choosing one set of ideas over another. They come from gaining a certain inner awareness.

    When you are not aware of the way these polarities go together, you don’t see it. I don’t mean know ABOUT it, intellectually, though that might be a beginning of the awareness I’m talking about. I mean have a deep experience of the truth of it as, for instance, you had at some point in your childhood a deep and embodied awareness that you can move your body intentionally, or that you have thoughts, or that actions create consequences. If you didn’t know that you can move your body intentionally, or that actions have consequences, and that someone told you all about it, you still wouldn’t be like the person who experientially knows these things–any more than being told all about New York is the same as actually going there.

    So I get that you experience life the way you do, and I get that what you are doing works for you (other than you say that you haven’t experienced the peace you seek, which I guess means that it isn’t working that well). As long as a person’s method for understanding and navigating life works, they will keep using it, which is fine with me. I’m trying to get people do do certain things that helps them become aware of the things they have not been aware of to that point.

    I do this because awareness creates choice. Right now, for whatever reason, you’re unable to choose peace. What you do to keep yourself from the peace you desire is happening outside your awareness. Therefore it isn’t a choice, which means that when you experience peace or don’t experience peace happens automatically, outside your awareness. Otherwise, you would automatically choose peace.

    “Believing in duality”–playing a more serious, more intense version of the Game of Black and White, where the world is clearly divided into good and bad, and seek to have everything be good and get rid of the bad, is a recipe for a lack of peace. This puts you in a double bind, because, as I said above, these are merely ideas about reality, not actual intrinsic, physical realities, so how would you get rid of them? And, as I also said, bad depends up on good, and vice versa. Getting rid of bad would be like getting rid of selling, but hoping to retain buying. Peace will never come from trying to get rid of half of everything, especially when the division of this half from that half is happening in your head.

    If experience (or deep spiritual practice) causes you to see the flaws in appraoching the world in this way, you’ll be forced to find another way, one that embraces both sides of your dualistic world, and at the same time sees that it is mental, not actual. This won’t come from me telling you about it, and if it did it wouldn’t be of much use to you. My telling you is designed to intrique you into possibly examining your way of looking at life, not intellectually, but spiritually. And, as I said, if what you are doing is working, keep using it. I’m not trying to make a judgement about what you are doing.

  202. Alessandro says :

    Thanks for your extensive reply, I really appreciate your view. For what that matters I was exposing my opinion and never said that my method works. I am still in the middle of a quandary and am approaching life with a certain degree of skepticism which probably makes me be the way I am. Maybe unawarely. And as Oscar wilde said: “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars”. Thank you

    FROM BILL: When you are in the middle of a quandry is when you usually come up with a new way of navigating life.

  203. Bill Mayhall says :

    Bill: Concerning those who question how much you charge and many of the ads you endorse: Even though I never had the privilege of working personally with him, I read every book that Rajneesh ( Osho) wrote. When I discovered, however, that one of his hobbies was collecting Rolls Royces, and that he had over a hundred of them, at first I became a little disenchanted. HOwever, as I continued reading, I finally understood that he was not entrenched in an addiction to wealth or his collection, but, to the contrary, he was simply playing the game of life – but with awareness, and that he could let go of it at any time without pain…which, as I understand, he later did, when he left Oregon. Being old and retired, I sometimes wish I could afford more of what you sell, but then I realize that gaining awareness through the use of Holosync, and reading, listening to and practicing the printed (free) materials will keep me at the place I want to be – living and enjoying one day at a time, with awareness. I have mentioned it before but I want to say it again: Holosync is one of the few products I have ever received that has a bigger payoff (for me, anyway) than even was promised. Glad I discovered you and Centerpointe! Bill Mayhall, PhD

    FROM BILL: Well, I’ve kept Holosync pretty inexpensive for over 20 years. In fact, it is considerably cheaper, NOT considering inflation (which has been substantial over the last 20 years), than when I started the company. A Centerpointe deeper level, if you use it for the time period we suggest, costs barely more than $1 a day. If you are on Awakening Level 4 or beyond, it costs barely more than fifty cents a day. We also offer payment plans to make it easier. If you drop your loose change in a jar when you start each level you should have enough to buy the next one when you are ready for it.

    As for Rajneesh and his Rolls Royces (or anyone who is accumulating expensive stuff), I always wonder why people let this bother them. Actually, I don’t wonder. I think I know why it bothers people. Most of them are envious. They’ve disowned their own desire to have nice things (someone taught them that it was bad or wrong) and now they project this onto other people.

    Unless a person is stealing whatever they have, what difference does it make what they decide to do with their money? In Rajneesh’s case, rich followers bought the cars for him. Stupid? Perhaps, but it was their money.

    I have made a lot of money over the years Centerpointe has been in existence. This has happened because a LOT of people have wanted to trade their money (and, as I said, not really that much of it per person) for the benefits we offer them–which are substantial and, in fact, life changing. And though I have a fairly nice house, a nice car, and I own a fairly expensive airplane, I really can’t find much that I want to buy. I’ve always done two things with the money I make: save it, and give it away to charities that help kids (I give away a lot of it).

    I am very happy to hear that you are benefiting from Holosync.

  204. Bill I had an experience of the same nature around this time last year while participating in a program during which I was learning to shift my energy and release energetic blocks.

    During one guided meditation I at first saw myself, as though I was an onlooker of myself, but then I somehow suddenly realised I had become myself and was now in my own body.

    As I stood there I looked out and saw I was witnessing myself as part of all this was is and will be. I was me but I was also a part of everything esle. I could not see a single person or animal, just the tops of trees and valleys extending as far as I could see, yet I “knew” in that instant that every other being was there with me.

    I got that we ARE all one – something I have long been saying and have believed on some elvel…but here I was “experiencing” what you call NO-THING-NESS.

    I have not studied Buddhism or any other kind of religion for that matter, I have always just sought my own truth and used my own feelings and instincts to decide what that is.

    It’s lovely to know that others are finding this truth on their own way too. I no longer think in terms of “in the end”…as I don’t see there BE-ing an end, only an ever changing Universe).

    Love and light,
    Lyn Bowker

  205. James Dai says :

    Great Doubt is another barrier.

    Then what can be done?

    What can be done intentionally to get to emptiness?

    Can nothing be done?

    Can I choose to do nothing then?

    Will that bring me there?

    Do I just wait for the grace to come down?

    Is there any way I can intentionally bring myself to the point of Great Doubt?

    Doesn’t that require that I try to do something with all my strength and then realise that it is for nothing?

    But being cognisant of that already preemptively stops it from happening!

    It’s all going in circles! How do you get to it when you want to?

    How do I come to a realisation? How do I intentionally lose myself? How do I make sure things turn out all right?

    FROM BILL: Things aren’t going to turn out alright. Everything falls apart in the end. Doubt that anything–religion, right-thinking, money, good health, intelligence, wisdom, power, the right philosophy, this or that way of thinking, or anything else–will save you from the human condition.

  206. Kareem Sdoia says :

    I have never ever believed that examining can be so significantly exciting.