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Happy New Year!--and welcome to Mind Chatter #129, the January 1, 2004 Interim Report.
In these Interim Reports, I leave out the "extras" we add to the full mid-month issue of Mind Chatter, and just share with you an article I've written or my thoughts on a particular subject.
On January 16, you'll receive a full issue of Mind Chatter.
How to Make New Year's Resolutions That Really Happen
by Bill Harris, Director
Centerpointe Research Institute
Another new year begins! This is traditionally a time when we reflect on the past year, and make resolutions for the coming year. You probably know that most new Year's resolutions are never kept, and there's a reason for that. For that
reason, I thought I'd discuss what you can do to actually create resolutions that really happen.
I've found that the key to any "resolution" is a decision. You have to DECIDE you're going to do something. You don't TRY to do something, you don't SEE IF YOU MIGHT be able to do something, you don't WONDER IF you can do something. To
successfully make a change, you have to DECIDE to do it.
If you do anything other than irrevocably decide, you will not follow through. You are in charge of deciding. No one can make you decide anything, and no one can keep you from deciding anything.
What, then, makes it difficult to decide, and stick with it?
If you focus on the difficulty of the process of doing something, or the potential penalties involved, it will be difficult to decide, and it will be difficult to follow through. It's almost always best (there are a few minor exceptions,
which I will not deal with here) to focus on what you want and on the rewards to be gained. This creates motivation--and it also gives your brain a strong signal to get busy and create whatever it is you want.
Your brain is the most powerful thing in the universe in terms of creating what you focus it on. Everything you're creating now is the result of your focus (though you may be doing a lot of your focusing unconsciously and
unintentionally).
What, specifically, do I mean by "focus on"? To focus on something means to place your attention on it by thinking about it. There are a limited number of ways you can think about something. Most people consider "thinking" to be talking to
yourself, hearing words in your head, but that is only one way you can think. There are actually six ways you can think, and internal dialog is only one of them.
We connect with the world around us through our senses. We see, hear, touch, taste, and smell, and then we also connect by speech, by talking. These external ways of connecting with our environment each have an internal component which we
use to think. So there are six ways we can think: by seeing pictures in our head, by hearing sounds, by experiencing internal feelings, by internally imagining smells, by internally imagining tastes, and by internal dialog. Taste and smell
are of very minor importance, but I mention them just to be complete, since they are two of the ways we can represent things to ourselves internally.
So, to focus on something, you are probably going to either talk to yourself about it, make an internal picture of it, have a feeling about it, or hear sounds about it (sounds other than internal dialog).
I'm breaking this down to the details because I want to make sure you understand exactly what I mean when I use these various terms, because I want you to be able to do what I'm suggesting in actual practice. When I say I want you to
focus on what you want, and on the rewards of getting it, I want you to know that you are going to talk to yourself about it, picture it, hear it, or feel it.
To decide, then, you want to be clear about what the decision is, and then think about it (in one or more of the ways I've described above) by focusing on what you want, and the rewards to be gained. You DO NOT want to focus on the
potential penalties or the difficulties of the process, or in any way on what you do NOT want. If your resolution is to floss your teeth every day and you focus on what a pain the process of flossing is, you won't do it. But if you focus
on the result you want (a healthier mouth, more money in your pocket instead of in the dentist's pocket, and so on), you'll be more motivated and you'll do it.
If you focus on what you don't want, two things happen: 1) you signal your brain to create what you do not want--and remember that your brain is really effective at creating whatever you focus on, and 2) you get to feel bad--a sure way to
lose motivation and go back on your resolution.
The other thing you have to do in order to make and keep a resolution is to "sort by possibility." This means that when you think of the subject of your decision or resolution, your attention goes to the possibilities, to what is possible.
If you tell your brain to find what is possible in a given situation, it will accept the premise that what you want to do is possible, and will always come up with possibilities--and the way to make them come true.
The person who has trouble making and keeping a resolution tends to sort by impossibility (his or her attention goes to all the difficulties, penalties, and reasons why he or she CAN'T do something) or necessity (attention goes to all the
"have-to's" and "should's"). If you sort by impossibility or necessity, your brain will filter out the possibilities, making it seem as if there are none, and it will compile a long list of reasons why you can't do whatever it is you want
to do--even if what you want to do is VERY possible.
Whichever premise you start with, your brain will unconditionally accept it and create the reality to go with it.
When you sort by possibility, you activate your brain to figure out how to make something happen. When you sort by impossibility or necessity, you activate your brain to make whatever you're thinking about difficult or impossible. When you
sort by possibility, possibilities pop out of the woodwork. When you sort by impossibility or necessity, you filter out the possibilities (and the resources you could use to make it possible) and it seems as if whatever you're thinking of
doing really IS impossible.
My view is that everything is possible. Here's my reasoning: Certainly something someone else has done before is possible, or they wouldn't have been able to do it. If someone else has done it, it's got to be doable. And even if no one has
ever done it before, I'm willing to start out with the idea that whatever I want to do IS possible, with the idea that if I give my brain the right instructions (by focusing on what I want), it will figure out how to make it happen.
Is it unalterably true that EVERYTHING is possible? Probably not. But by starting with that premise, it gives my brain every chance to come up with a way to make the possibility into a reality. And though some things may not be possible
(I'll probably never play center for the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team), I haven't found an actual situation yet where something I really wanted to create wasn't.
There's nothing different about me that makes what I want possible for me but not for you--other than that I know how to give my brain the right instructions. You can do the same, very easily, if you'll just do it.
I'm not kidding. You really can.
So decide what you want. Decide. Deciding (I mean REALLY deciding) to change is the key to any change. Decide, and create the motivation to keep your promise to yourself, by focusing on the potential rewards and on the outcome you want.
Keep your mind off the penalties and off the work involved in the process. The only time you want to focus on the challenges involved is to create a plan to overcome them, and then your focus should only be on the challenges for as long as
it takes to note the challenge and tell your brain to figure out a solution. Then, immediately go to focusing on the rewards to be gained through the plan you come up with.
If you don't have a plan, ask for it. Say to yourself: "I need a plan for this. I know it's in there. What is it? What is it? I know I'll think of it." Asking these questions will cause your brain to bring you the answer. Keep asking until
you get it. (Do you notice that this questioning process also involves focusing on what you want?)
Many people have given up on New Year's resolutions because they feel such disappointment when they don't keep them. Disappointment is something most people will do almost anything to avoid, including not going for what they want in the
first place. This, however, is no solution. You want what you want, and you ought to be able to have it.
You can, however, feel great about yourself, keep your promises to yourself, and experience the rewards of making any positive change you want, if you follow the instructions I've given you.
Decide. Focus on what you want and the rewards of having it. Sort by possibility.
You can do it.
Be well.
Bill
PS: Thank you so much for being a reader of Mind Chatter this last year, and for allowing me to offer my help to you. This year is going to be better than ever, and I'm going to do everything I can to continue to help you get everything
you want in life. It is possible to be happy, peaceful inside, and successful in the world, no matter what your past or present circumstances--if you know how. One way to learn more about the "how" is to take my series of three online
courses, The Life Principles Integration Process. To listen to a information-packed free preview lesson, go to:
http://www.centerpointe.com/life/online/preview
PPS: Are you in a romantic relationship, or do you want to be in one? My good friends Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have recently launched the absolute best program about relationship success I've ever seem, The Relationship Solution. Gay and
Kathlyn are known all over the world, and have appeared on Oprah (twice), Larry King Live, Good Morning America, and many other major TV shows. They've taught tens of thousands of couples, singles, and relationship professionals what they
know about creating conscious, loving relationships. And, they're authors and co-authors of many best-selling books on relationships and other personal growth topics.
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PPPS: One more reminder. I will be a featured speaker at Joe Vitale's "Spiritual Marketing Super Summit" in Austin, Texas, January 15-18.
Joe is the author of the #1 Amazon.com best-selling book, "Spiritual Marketing--A Proven 5-Step Formula for Easily Creating Wealth from the Inside Out" (which, by the way, I HIGHLY recommend--it's really about the spiritual laws of how to
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Joe is one of the most spiritually together people I know, and has become one of my very favorite authors. This guy knows how to write!
By the way, you can read Spiritual Marketing FREE (and I highly recommend that you do) just by clicking here:
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Joe has gathered together some very impressive presenters (including me), along with some other fantastic surprises, for this once-in-a-lifetime three-day seminar/workshop/fun time/Spiritual Marketing Summit. If you want to resolve issues
about prosperity, if you have a business and want to dramatically increase your success level, if you want to have a LOT of fun--or you just want to hear me share some very valuable cutting-edge information about how to be more successful
in life, click here for more information:
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Finally, if you've found Mind Chatter to be helpful, please forward it to a friend.
Bill Harris, Director
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