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Welcome to Mind Chatter #127, the December 1, 2003 Interim Report.
In these Interim Reports, I leave out the "extras" we add to the full
mid-month issue of Mind Chatter, and just share with you an article
I've written or my thoughts on a particular subject.
On December 16, you'll receive a full issue of Mind Chatter.
Resistance--and Focusing on What You Don't Want: Birds of a Feather
by Bill Harris, Director
Centerpointe Research Institute
You may have noticed that I've been writing a lot lately about the subject of what you focus your mind on, and how this is the KEY to what you create in life. What you focus on determines the internal states you experience, and it also
determines the external results you get.
The trouble is, most people do their focusing unconsciously and without intention. How they focus, and what they focus on, runs automatically--which means that sometimes they focus on what they DON'T want--and get it. And, in addition,
focusing on what you don't want creates bad feelings.
In fact, I'll make an even more sweeping statement:
ANY TIME you experience an uncomfortable feeling--any time you feel bad--you are focusing on what you do not want, what you are afraid of, or what you are worried about.
This is the only way anyone can experience bad feelings.
Luckily, you can control what you focus your mind on, which means you can control whether or not you experience bad feelings, too.
Those of you who have been with Centerpointe for a while are familiar with my Nine Principles for Conscious Living. I've written many articles about The Nine Principles in Mind Chatter.
You can see the archives of these articles at:
http://www.centerpointe.com/newsletter/archives.php
The first (and, some would say, the most important) of the Nine Principles is The Principle of Letting Whatever Happens Be Okay. This idea of what you focus on, and this first principle, are closely related--in fact, in a sense, they are
two ways of saying the same thing.
When you are not letting "what is" be okay--when you're emotionally resisting the way things are--what you're actually doing inside your head is making pictures or other internal representations of what you don't want, and then emotionally
reacting to these internal representations with resistance. You think of what you don't want, are afraid of, or are worried about, and then try to move away from it or avoid it.
I've often said that to resist or not resist is a choice, that when something happens that is other than what you would have liked, you can either resist--which means you suffer in some way--or you can just PREFER that things be different,
in which case you can remain happy and peaceful. This applies to things you can do nothing about, and also to things you can do something about.
I mention this because I want to make sure you understand that not resisting doesn't mean you accept whatever happens without any attempt to shape events the way you want them to be. It does mean, though, is that you remain emotionally
okay and unattached to the outcome while you are working to change those things you may be able to change, or while you're dealing with those things you cannot change.
Often I'm asked how a person can make the choice to not resist something. Someone will write me, convinced that this principle is true in theory, but not understanding how to put it into practice. Usually this mean that the person
experiences him or herself AT THE EFFECT of some cause, over which they have no control--in other words, they do not feel as if they are in charge of their feelings, impulses, and internal states--and sometimes, even their behavior.
So the questions becomes, "how do you do 'not resisting' something?" What do you actually DO that creates resistance, and what do you change so as to end it? I was thinking about this over the Thanksgiving holiday (yes, I really do think
about things like this), and it suddenly occurred to me that resistance and the idea of what you focus your mind on are really about the same thing. Once I realized this, the answer came to me: you can't resist without focusing your mind
on that which you're resisting. You can't resist without making internal representations (internal sounds, pictures, and internal dialog) of what you do not want.
To resist, you have to focus on what you don't want, with the idea that you want to move away from it or in some way avoid it!
I've been telling people for some time now that when you focus on what you don't want, you do two things: 1) you give your mind an instruction to create or draw to you, in one way or another, whatever you're focusing on, and 2) you get to
feel lousy.
When you make internal representations of what you don't want, your mind thinks you want it. Why does your mind do such a lousy thing to you? Because it's wired in such a way that it takes what you focus on as a literal instruction to get
or create something for you. It doesn't distinguish between those things you focus on that you WANT and those things you focus on that you DON'T WANT. YOU have to distinguish between these two things, and be conscious enough to only
entertain internal representation of what you want.
Luckily, the ONE thing you have complete and total control over is WHAT YOU FOCUS ON. That means that when you feel bad, it's a signal that you are focusing on what you don't want--and that by consciously changing that focus to what you
want, you can change how you feel.
Not only that, you also change the results you get, because you change the instructions you're giving your brain from what you DON'T want to what you DO want.
And, I'm here to tell you that your mind is REALLY good at creating whatever instructions you give it. Right now, with no training whatsoever, you are as proficient as any human who has ever lived at creating exactly what you focus on.
It's built in to you. Your only problem is that you haven't been focusing consciously. (More about than in a moment.)
At the risk of repeating myself, let me remind you why someone would focus on what they don't want: they have been wounded, traumatized, or abused in some way. They have had one or more significant emotional experiences that have caused
them to say: "There's danger in the world, and I have to avoid it in order to be safe." To try to avoid this danger, you have to focus on it (at least you think so). But ironically, focusing on it creates more of it, and you also get the
added bonus of experiencing bad feelings.
So whether I talk about resistance, or about focusing on what you don't want, I'm essentially talking about the same thing, and my sincere advice to you is to give up both of them.
Finally, underlying even the broad topic of resistance and what you focus your mind on, is the question "Who's in charge?" And the answer, in case you don't know, is that YOU are in charge. You may not be exercising the control you
undeniably have over what happens, but that doesn't mean it isn't available to you. It may look as if you are a leaf in the whirlwind of fate, but that's just how it LOOKS.
You ARE in charge, I promise. You can decide, in any moment, what you focus your mind on, what thoughts you think, what pictures you make inside your head. You can decide to focus on what you want, and if you do, you'll get it, and you'll
feel good while you're getting it. Most people do not exercise this tremendous power, however. Instead, most people allow their mind to run all over the place, automatically, allowing whatever internal representations their mind happens to
automatically create to run wild in their mind.
Here, then, is my suggestion for you: take the reins of your mind. Become aware, moment by moment, of what you're doing inside your head, and if it isn't what you want--if what you experience, either inside or out, isn't what you
intended--exercise your power to change your focus.
You can do this. I'm not saying IT WILL BE EASY. At first, it's not easy to tame your mind. It takes tremendous persistence, because the part of you that thinks it needs to focus on danger in order to be safe has a lot of momentum. But if
you keep paying attention, and keep exercising control and choice about what you focus on, it will become easier and easier. Finally, directing your mind to do what you want it to do will become a habit, and from that point it's easy.
And, once you get to that point, the world is your oyster, because you'll be able to create whatever you want. I know this is true, because I've done it, and you can do it, too.
Now, if you want a shortcut to accomplishing this (and you do, don't you?), here are two things you can do:
1) Use Holosync every day to meditate, and complete all the levels of The Holosync Solution program. This will create the conscious awareness you need to become aware of how your mind creates your reality, and will give you tremendous
conscious control over your mind, what it focuses on, and what it creates.
2) Take the three online courses of my Life Principles Integration Process, in which you'll discover exactly how your mind creates everything that happens to you, and how you can take complete and total charge of this process. To read
about these courses, and to hear a free lesson, go to:
http://www.centerpointe.com/life/online/preview
So there you have it. What you focus on is the key to life. I'm handing you the key. All you have to do is take it from me, and open the door.
See you on the other side!
Be well.
Bill
Bill Harris, Director
PS: Just a reminder--my good friend Gay Hendricks has recently launched what I think is the absolute best program about relationship success I've ever seem, called The Relationship Solution. Gay and his wife Kathlyn are known all over the
world, and have appeared on Oprah (twice), Larry King Live, and many other major TV shows...have taught tens of thousands of couples, singles, and relationship professionals what they have learned about creating conscious, loving
relationships...and are authors and co-authors of
many best-selling books.
They are the creme de la creme of relationship experts.
If you want to make a relationship you're already in into a GREAT relationship...or want to know what it takes to finally attract a relationship
into your life that gives you the deep and lasting love and intimacy you've always wanted, there's nothing that even comes close to what this program offers. For more information, click here:
http://www.therelationshipsolution.com
PPS: I almost forgot--one more reminder. I will be a featured speaker at Joe Vitale's "Spiritual Marketing Super Summit" in Austin, Texas, January 15-18.
Joe is the author of the #1 Amazon.com best-selling book, Spiritual Marketing (which, by the way, I HIGHLY recommend--it's really about spiritual LIVING, so you don't need to be marketing or selling something to benefit tremendously from
it), and many other great books. Joe is one of the most spiritually together people I know, and one of my very favorite authors.
Joe has gathered together some very impressive presenters (including me), along with some other fantastic surprises, for this once-in-a-lifetime three-day seminar/workshop/fun time. If you want to resolve any issues about prosperity, if
you have a business and want to dramatically increase your success-level, if you want to have a LOT of fun--or you just want to hear me share some very valuable cutting-edge information about how to be more successful in life, click here
for more information:
http://www.SpiritualMarketingSuperSummit.com
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