I recently had my mind blown by an incredibly profound experience of what Buddhists call emptiness, or “dropped-off body-mind.” In such an experience “how it all is and what it’s all about” becomes stunningly obvious. All ideas dissolve–ALL ideas. Ideas, premises, beliefs, theories, maps of reality, are seen as inconsequential, insubstantial, uninteresting, beside the point. Instead, there’s just an infinitely deep peace, a vast expansiveness, a deep and profound knowingness about the essence of it all–and, the realization that all of this is who you are.
In such an experience, this knowingness of how things really are, what it’s all about, and who you really are is so tangibly obvious that it changes you forever. I hesitate to even call it an experience, because this implies a separate “me” that could experience something, and at such a time it’s obvious that experience and experiencer are one thing, not two.
When you have such an experience you also find that it’s impossible to communicate this knowingness in a way that anyone could possibly understand–unless they, too, have had the experience. When you try to communicate what you’ve realized, anything you say seems foolish and inarticulate, even before you say it. There’s just no way to capture it with ideas or words. For that reason, I’m not going to try to explain it (though I admit I’ve tried in many of these posts), because it can’t be explained–at least in a way that would actually be helpful.
Despite all of this, from this experience I did have one insight I want to share–something I already ”knew,” but now see at a deeper, more visceral, more profound level.
Emptiness is an interesting term in Buddhism. It doesn’t actually mean nothing, and it also doesn’t really mean empty in the normal sense of there being nothing there, or that it’s all empty space. Emptiness is actually an attempt to describe what I’ve already said can’t be described. It’s a kind of code-word amongst those who have had the experience.
You could, I suppose, call it “no-thing-ness,” because in this state it’s very clear that there are no separate things, that everything is interconnected and all divisions are unreal–other than in a conceptual sense. Things are units of thought, not units of reality. In this state conceptualizations seem silly, unnecessary, inconsequential, and not pertinent to what really is. You don’t want to conceptualize. It just seems like a lot of effort serving no real purpose.
Even if you’ve had such an experience many times before, this is an odd sensation. After all, for almost all people life is almost entirely conceptual. All but a few rare people live in and through their ideas about reality, their map of how it all is. That map has been taken as the real territory to such a degree that it’s all that most people see. But in the emptiness experience, all these maps and ideas just don’t seem to matter or have much importance.
When you “see how it all is” in this way, your map seems so skinny and insubstantial it’s hard to believe you built your life around it. To say that it seems partial is an understatement. It’s like mistaking a stick-figure for the real you, or a one paragraph biography for the story of your life. This realization–that pretty much everything you’ve hung your hat on for your entire life is insubstantial, partial, and largely irrelevant–is life-changing.
When you’re in touch with this emptiness (or, I should say, when you realize that you are this emptiness), you see the truth of what all the sages, Zen masters, and enlightened beings have said: there really is nowhere to go, and nothing to get. In fact, even if there were something to get, there’s no separate entity who could go anywhere to get it.
When you’re enmeshed in your map of reality, it sure doesn’t seem this way, though. Of course there’s somewhere to go, something to get, and someone to get it! Not only can I feel it, everyone else agrees with me about it. C’mon. Look around. It’s obvious that there are separate things and separate events, including a separate “me.”
All of this seems quite real when you identify with your ideas about reality–which is what all but a few human beings do. It can be quite difficult to untangle yourself from your map (or, at least, it seems to be difficult). The mind can be quite subtle in the way it tempts you to believe in your map. For instance, if you know a lot about Eastern philosophy and mysticism and such things, you might identify with your ideas about emptiness and no-thing-ness, all the while thinking that you “get it.”
In thinking about this experience, I realized how much of life is about getting somewhere and getting something. Wherever we are, we’re dissatisfied. If we are satisfied, it’s momentary, and then we’re off after something else. Wherever we are, we think we’d be better off if only we were somewhere else. And whatever we have, we want (or think we need) something else or something more. Whatever our material, mental, or spiritual situation–we never feel like we’re quite “there.”
This is how it feels when we’re under the spell of our mind and think and feel that we’re a separate entity confronted by lots of other separate things and entities (who don’t care about us or have our best interests at heart). We feel, as the poet A. E. Housman said, “Alone and afraid, in a world I never made.”
If, on the other hand, you really, really, really got that there’s just One Thing, and you’re it–not intellectually, but experientially, in your bones–where would you need to go? Where could you go? And what would you get if you went there?
We have this underlying sensation, then, that there’s something we don’t have, and if we could just get it, then we could rest, then we’d be okay, then things would make sense. (Then there’s the other side of that coin, that there’s something terrible that had better not happen, and which in relation to we feel reasonably okay–but that’s another story for another time.)
When you were a baby, life was all about eating, sleeping, and pooping. But once you could walk and talk, then you were getting somewhere. But being a toddler wasn’t enough. You wanted to get to kindergarten, then first grade. You want to learn to read. It’s coming, that something, and when you get it, well, then things will be great. Keep going. Maybe when you’re bigger.
Maybe it will come in junior high school. But when you get there you want to be in high school. Well, maybe it’ll happen when you have sex, or make the football team. Or, maybe, it’ll come when you’re in college, or when you get married, or have children, or get your PhD. Maybe you’ll get it once you get a job, establish a career, accumulate some money. Climb the success ladder, and then maybe you’ll get it. Maybe it will come once you have children, or when the children are gone, or when you retire.
And so on.
Somewhere along the line a few people begin to suspect that it (whatever it is), might not come from worldly accomplishments, so they turn their attention to spiritual development. Getting it shifts to “if I meditate long enough,” “if I find the right teacher,” “if I read enough spiritual books,” “if I say my mantra for enough years,” “if I finish koan study,” “if I experience grace,” “if I please God,” “if I get rid of desires,” “if I study the Bible,” “if I read all Ken Wilber’s books,” and so on. In some spiritual approaches you actually have to die (physically, not metaphorically) before you get the goodie you’re after. Or, you might have to experience thousands, or even millions, of lifetimes before you get it.
Does this remind you of a donkey trotting after a carrot?
Whether you’re searching in the realms of worldly or spiritual achievement, there’s always something more to get. And, whatever you do get, it’s never quite it. It’s like taking a journey to the horizon. No matter how fast you go, no matter for how long you travel, you never get there. The it you’re looking for is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but the darned rainbow keeps moving.
All this seeking puts you in a double bind. Why? Because you’re trying to get something–whatever that indefinable something is–that you actually already have (or, to be more accurate, which you already are). When you look at it this way, you begin to see all the spiritual books and scriptures, the seminars, the meditation techniques, and all the teachers and gurus in a different light.
Pretend for a moment that you’re a fish. You’re swimming along minding your own business when I come along and tell you that there’s this amazing stuff called water. It’s the ultimate stuff, I tell you, and if you can find it all your problems will be solved. Come to my weekend seminar ($995) and I’ll teach you what you need to know. I have it–the Ancient Secrets of Water–and you don’t. Luckily for you, I’m willing to reveal these sacred secrets to a few lucky fish like you.
Whatever you get from my seminar, though, won’t be quite enough, so you’ll have to come to my advanced seminar ($1995). You’ll be much better off after that (at least you’ll think I’m wonderful, because I’ve obviously got it). You may need, however, to study with me individually for a while. This, of course, is more expensive (but worth it). After all, you do want the Secrets of Water, don’t you?
All the while, you’re swimming in it, and you always have been.
Now, I’m not saying that all seminars are bullshit, or that all teachers are conning you. After all, I make my living as a teacher, and I think what I offer is pretty valuable. Some seminars and teachers, thankfully, are doing their best to say (as I am), “Look, you already have it. In fact, you’re it.”
Ironically, as long as you’re thinking, “If I just do more Holosync, if I just do more Big Mind, if I just spend more time with Baba Suchabanana, if I just become a Zen monk, if I read more spiritual books, if I just could get rid of desire, if I could finish all of Ken Wilber’s books, if I could just get rid of negativity,” you won’t see that you’re already it. As long as the fish is searching like crazy for the water, he’ll fail to see that his entire world is water. It’s like those times when you can’t find your keys, and all the while they’re in your hand.
This search for what you already are, then, is a double bind, an insoluble problem, a wild goose chase. It’s like trying to bite your teeth with your teeth, or touch the end of your finger with the end of the same finger. No matter what you do to get it, you’re never quite there.
This is one of the main reasons why life is so filled with frustration. We’re all busy trying to get the un-gettable (or, rather, what we already have). We’re not even quite sure what it is, but we have this nagging feeling that something is missing. Wherever we are, it isn’t quite the right place. Whatever we have isn’t quite the right thing to have. Whoever we are isn’t the right “me.”
An authentic teacher–one who really knows that it’s all “nothingness” and therefore has seen through the double bind–will take an interesting approach to helping you. On the premise that “a fool who persists in his folly will become wise,” he’ll try to get you to act consistently with your delusion. He’ll put you in a microcosm of the double bind I’ve described, hoping that after some intense, disciplined, and incredibly frustrating seeking, you might begin to doubt the whole enterprise and give it up.
A teacher might, for instance, tell you that the source of your chronic frustration is that you desire. The Buddha said that desire (clinging, thirsting) creates suffering. Stop desiring and you’ll be fine. Ah, that’s the secret! So, you set out to get rid of your desires, and periodically you meet with the teacher so he can check on your progress. As time passes you seem to be able to get rid of a few desires, but others seem quite stubborn. “This is harder than I thought,” you say.
Then the teacher really throws you a curve. “Isn’t your attempt to get rid of desire just another desire? What are you going to do about that?” Oops. Now what? “Hmm. I guess I’ll have to stop desiring to get rid of desire.” But how do you do that? The teacher has put you in a double bind and no matter what you do there’s no escape.
Or, he might ask you, in one of many different ways, to be totally spontaneous, to not act from any of your ideas or concepts. So, you work on that. But how can you be intentionally spontaneous? Another double bind.
And, if you do get it, the teacher will tell you what a wonderful start you’ve made, but there’s more. Keep going. He’ll keep jollying you along as long as he can, until you’re tied up in knots.
These double binds are, as I said earlier, the double bind of life in microcosm. The double bind, along with the authority of the teacher (he seems to have it), your intense desire and commitment to get it, can create incredible frustration and doubt. This frustration and doubt is designed to drive you to the point where you give up, where you see through the whole thing.
This Great Doubt, as it’s called in Zen, throws you into the transcendent, into the experience of emptiness, and from that place, you suddenly see how ridiculous the whole endeavor was. You, the fish, see that it’s all water, and what in the hell were you searching for all that time?
Or, the whole thing drives you completely out of your mind.
But let’s look at the other side of the coin, because while all of the above is true–there really is nothing to get and nowhere to go, and none of your getting or going is going to save you or solve the basic problem of life (that we suffer). As long as you’re here, you have to go somewhere and try to get something. You have to play the game. If you don’t, life has no juice, no pizzazz.
You can only rest in emptiness (or Oneness, or whatever you want to call it) for so long. After a while, the relative world comes along and bites you in the ass. Everything may indeed be one all-encompassing and interconnected thing/process, and who you are may certain be that process, but that doesn’t mean the relative world isn’t here.
As that one thing/process manifests as the entire natural universe, it obeys the laws of cause and effect. And, as I said at length in a previous post, there is no escape from that. What’s more, there’s also no escape from the fact that everything in the relative universe is impermanent and eventually passes away or falls apart.
Eastern philosophy has a wonderful metaphor to describe the fact that while you’re it you’re also subject to impermanence and cause and effect: the one energy of everything is playing Hide and Seek with itself. You’re it, but you pretend to not know that you’re it. You hide who you really are from yourself, and then you look for it. What fun.
At first, though, you look for it in the form of worldly pleasures, status, power, and all the other things you think will satisfy you. As you probably know, none of them, at least in any ultimate sense, can satisfy you. When you do get what you want, it only satisfies you for a short while, and then you need something else. You get a new car and for a while it’s all very exiting and satisfying, but within a month or so it’s just transportation. You have one Pringle, but then you want another.
What’s more, whatever you get is eventually used up or falls apart. No matter what you do, eventually impermanence wins.
If somehow you could scratch your itch to find satisfaction in every possible way, until you totally run out of things to try, you might see through it all and realize that nothing will ever give you any real and lasting satisfaction, salvation, or relief. This would be the equivalent of trying in every possible way to get rid of desire, until you were completely stymied.
The great spiritual masters, down through the centuries, have found that this experience of coming to the end of your rope, this experience of Great Doubt, can lead to an experience of awakening, of emptiness, of seeing that you already are what you’ve been seeking–and that all along there was nowhere to go, nothing to get, and nothing to realize.
The Zen master who asks you to get rid of desire, or to show your original face (or one of many other double-bind problems he might give you) is giving you a short cut, because he knows you’ll never be able to try every way of (hopefully) gaining lasting salvation or satisfaction.
So here you are. Perhaps you know who you are. Perhaps you just believe me and the others who may have told you who you are, but it’s intellectual rather than experiential. Knowing intellectually, I’m afraid, isn’t going to help. It might be a good start, but to really know who you are, it must be experienced. As long as it’s merely something you believe, it’s just another “something” to chase after. If so, once again, you’re chasing your own tail, because you’re already it.
But let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you really do know who you are. You know that you are the emptiness the Buddhists speak about, and you know it experientially. You might want to just hang out in that emptiness place, and for a while you probably will. It’s a great place to hang out. But, as I said, the relative world will eventually intrude on your reverie. The organism though which this Oneness is being experienced is still subject to impermanence and cause and effect, and sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with that.
Knowing who you really are makes this a lot easier, though. If you were an actor playing Hamlet, but somehow forgot that you were an actor, and thought you really were Hamlet, it would be a tragedy, because everyone dies in the end. If, however, you knew it was just a play, and that after the curtain fell you’d all go back to the green room, take off your makeup and your costumes, and go out and have a beer together, you’d have a great time playing at being Hamlet.
So after the experience of emptiness (there could be many, each one deeper than the last), the next step is to integrate this knowingness of who you really are with the reality of the relative world. In part, this means acting as if there really is somewhere to go and something to get, while in the back of your mind you know it doesn’t matter. You pretend like crazy, though, that it does matter, and you do this because this is what makes life worth living. And, anyway, what else would you do?
What’s different is that from this integrated place you have choice. Instead of unconsciously careening from one object of desire to another, from one place you think you should be to another, from one “me” you want to be to another, you consciously choose what to want, where to go, and who to be, knowing the consequences and consciously deciding to accept them. You know that whatever you become attached to eventually will be used up, fall apart, or end, but you decide to become attached anyway. This frees you to love the people and things in your life–but to do so with awareness.
Zen student and British-born Japanese scholar R.H. Blyth once wrote to Alan Watts, saying, “How are you, Alan? As for me, I’ve given up all thoughts of satori and enlightenment and am busy becoming attached to as many people and things as possible.” This is an expression of this idea of becoming attached, not unconsciously, but with awareness and choice.
So in your game of Hide and Seek, once you find what you were looking for (yourself), you keep playing, but now your playing is more relaxed. Instead of trying hard you “try soft,” because you know that although cause and effect and impermanence are real, they’re just the play of that one that one all-encompassing “it” and though it won’t always appear as what you think of as “me,” it will always appear as something, and that something is who you really are.
*******
Before I let you go I have a very important announcement–what some people are calling the biggest personal and spiritual growth event of the first decade of the new millennium. On August 29th and 30th, Ken Wilber, Zen master Genpo Roshi, Zen master Bernie Glassman Roshi, and I will present Enlightenment and the Western Mind in Westminster, Colorado (in the Denver area). This will be a highly interactive, free-wheeling event–one I suspect will never happen again, ever.
As you know if you’ve been following this blog for long, for the last several years I’ve been fortunate to know and work with the great author, philosopher, and spiritual teacher Ken Wilber, and to have an even closer relationship with the great Zen master Genpo Roshi. I’ve also done everything possible to share these great teachers with those who use Holosync and are involved with Centerpointe. I’ve had huge positive growth in my own life as a result of these relationships, and I want you to experience the same thing.
This is your chance to sit at the feet and learn from two Zen masters, and Ken Wilber (and me, too). We’ll be talking about the development of Western Spirituality, and where it might go from here, but I suspect this weekend will cover MUCH more. In fact, I’m quite sure that this weekend will profoundly deepen your experience and understanding of who you are, what life is about, and how to live with true inner peace, happiness, compassion, and success.
I’m convinced, in fact, that this is going to be a truly historic event. Many people are calling it the key spiritual event of the first decade of the 21st century. If I were you, I would do whatever you have to do to be there. It took an event of this magnitude to tempt Ken Wilber, who is in poor health, into making a rare public appearance. None of us are really sure when Ken might stop appearing in public altogether.
To see Ken, along with Genpo Roshi, Bernie Roshi (Genpo’s dharma brother, known for his deep understanding, his skill as a teacher, and his compassionate service in the world), and me, together in the same event, is something that will probably never happen again.
Besides, I really want you to meet Ken, Genpo Roshi, and Bernie Roshi–and, if I haven’t met you in person, I want to meet you, too.
The cost for this special event is $1295, but you can save $300 if you sign up by July 21st. Quite frankly, I’m pretty sure this is going to sell out, and quickly, so if you want to be there, grab your spot right away. Just go to www.vastsky.org and click on “register now” on the right, or call 801 328 8414. I look forward to seeing you at what I’m sure will be the experience of a lifetime.
So, until next time, be well.
Hi Bill,
I am now doing Purif 1 disc 3 . Great improvements have happened in my mental and emotional states. However sometimes holocync brakes me down REALLY bad.
I remember that you said that most people start letting things be ok somewhere between awak 4 and purf 1 . When I did the first cd of purif 1 a couple of months ago I didnot felt almost any upheaval. I was so happy thinking .” great I guess the bad part is over”. And then the cd #2 got me really bad.
When the upheaval is moderate I can deal with it using different methods. On certain occasions the upheaval is so overwhelming that it feels like there is no way I can deal with that in the moment , other than just taking it.
In those moments I still know in the back of my head that my resisting is causing it. I see my thoughts , my pictures , my focus on what I resist but still It seems to strong and real to even think of doing something about it or let it be ok. I think my resisting the awareness created by holocync has also reflected in my life in a negative way . when I hit one of those bumps I lose motivation and momentum and I sabotage myself .
Overall though the program has been great , and now I naturally do things (that work for me) that I thought it would be very hard to do before holocync. I dont engage in drama with other people , I dont judge others much, I accept others and accept what is ( except on those periods of upheaval) , I stand for myself effortlessly, I dont take things personally , I am way lighter and more myself.
Carlos
FROM BILL: Now all you have to do is stop resisting those parts of being human you think are wrong or bad.
Bill,
I was thinking about this idea of reincarnation. I have been experiencing this “I have been here before” feeling. But is not like saying “I was Napoleon, or Cleopatra” in my past life. It’s more like the common feeling of having been a ME before. Of course this may just be another delusion of the mind anyway, but…
However, I think Buddhist and Hindus are speaking from a different level of consciousness when they refer to this. As Alan Watts says it, there are two possibilities. Either we die and “reincarnate” in a different body, but don’t remember our “past life”. Or we die and “some body else” is born. But in reality both options are the same. Either way we will experience ourselves as a ME that is now completely different.
So in a way we are ALL (including animals, plants, or maybe even atoms) reincarnations of that same “I AM” feeling. Just with different “stories”. But of course we identify so much with those particular stories that we end up believing that I am different from YOU.
But YOU and I and Everybody else reading this are in fact different “incarnations” of The Self which is kind of this I AM feeling, and that is only one. That’s why Bill or Santiago CAN’T wake up, because they are just stories, what wakes up is The Self, which is not a story. And it doesn’t matter when the story dies, because that Self (that sense of BEING) will always be here, just as a different story, as a different perspective. I think that is what they mean with reincarnation, is not the story that reincarnates, (besides that would be boring, the fun of the game is actually being somebody else, completely new).
So in a way, by disidentifying with the story and identifying with the Self, the question of reincarnation or life and death is not even an issue.
At least that’s the way I understand it so far.
Love to all,
Santiago
FROM BILL: Well put.
I happen to know, though, that you are the reincarnation of Eleanor Roosevelt. This was obvious to me the first time I set eyes on you.
Dear Bill,
HOLOSYNC gives me the feeling that I am ready to experience the
insights you are going to bring me: I am looking forward to it!!
When I listend to the CD you sent me, the music at the background gave me experiences through my body and it felt good.
I am very grateful that I discovered HOLOSYNC: it just happend and
that’s why I know that I am ready for this.
Thank you beforehand!!
Love and Light
cockie
Thank you Bill. Life is different. It is better…. I ride the upheavals with grace and witnessing. My life is better and i am in “IT”. It is refreshing.
Yes, that was before being the 6th patriarch…. anyway, is nice to see you again gran pa Theodore.
carlos, i’m on disc 4 of the same level. i still have peaks and troughs. you’re not failing at this. thank god i just saw your post, ’cause i don’t know what’s normal for this level… yes, the dips are there, but there seems to be a general upward trend. stick with it, man.
Hey Bill i no what you saying about the one energy thing and how it can be great to just cut loose from the formed and stop acting for a little while, its great to go sit at a train station and just witness everyone acting out a suit so to speak or skirt .
BE WELL
JASE
Hi Bill,
I’ve used the timeline process about 7 times so far to clear up emotional issues that I have with various things in my life. Is it ok to use it again and again, even for seemingly minor things? Possible to use it too much?
Thanks,
Chris
FROM BILL: Time Line is a way to let go of emotions you’ve attached to a past experience and now attach to experiences in the present that remind you of the past experience. Why not just let go of them and skip the Time Line. If you’ve done it over and over, you must, by now, know how to let go of emotions.
I wish I could be with y’all in Denver!!! Please keep doing these events and I’ll be able to make it one day (I’m in Abu Dhabi right now). Thanks Bill — you don’t have to post this… just wanted to say thanks for Holosync and your LPIP courses.
Chris
Hi Bill,
I know you’ve got your Enlightenment and the Western Mind seminar this weekend, but when you have some time…I was wondering if you’ve ever studied String Theory or M-Theory and if you have thoughts about how it could relate to no self.
I love your blog!
Sincerely,
Mary Alice
FROM BILL: I am not an expert in string theory. Like the Self, though, string theory is an idea about reality.
Thank you Shawnesey for your comment and support ,
Yes I am already on this boat and I am sticking with it all the way to the end, and although I know tha holocync wont save me from impermanence in all his forms , at least I have the consolation that as the weeks and months go by I am doing something consistently everyday to make my life a little better.
Carlos
FROM BILL: Holosync will make you more AWARE.
Thank you Bill for this enlightening post, you’ve just made my day!
I love this part in your post…
“What’s different is that from this integrated place you have choice. Instead of unconsciously careening from one object of desire to another, from one place you think you should be to another, from one “me” you want to be to another, you consciously choose what to want, where to go, and who to be, knowing the consequences and consciously deciding to accept them. You know that whatever you become attached to eventually will be used up, fall apart, or end, but you decide to become attached anyway. This frees you to love the people and things in your life–but to do so with awareness”.
This part tells me that ‘living in the moment’ with awareness is important to a fulfilling life in this physical realm. Wow… this is beyond words.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Bill.
~Krystalina~
Bill, I have felt all my life that the world in general, and therefore people had no real agenda or purpose. I did not have any insights about directing my life and was perplexed on how others managed it. Holosync is giving me
the ability to see that there is nothing wrong with me for not believing in or having “a purpose in life” but I can start making my everyday life more enjoyable because I want to not because someone told me I should.
Thank you
Madalin
Can you do us a favor and tell us how you’re aware, instead of continuing to tell us about awareness and how holosync will bring it? Just using awareness as a placeholder for something that you can’t describe is really lame, and it’s a disservice to those who really get what’s going on. Don’t be lame anymore, for god’s sake if not your own!
PS: I really loved your description of your heart opening at the big mind workshop this weekend; it seemed as if a totally different Bill was speaking up there on the stage, someone who was really alive and enjoying what he was doing (perhaps only due to increased awareness at that time). Do more of that sort of awareness with us, because I’m sure that beyond a shadow of a doubt that you know full well what I mean.
Hey Bill,
Just wanted to say thanks for the Vast Sky talk Yesterday. Watched by internet.
I thought your part was powerful. The connection was real, about the sadness, and resonated.
Hi
I wish there was another place on your web site for forums or just to hear other peoples experiences. I have just begun Awakening 1 and am having a difficult time. I have depression problems anyway ( they go back forever ) and as I live in England I dont use the phone help option. I have emailed. Sometimes I don’t know what is from the meditation and what is just my own stuff that I would have anyway. I realise I am only at the beginning and everyone is different but it does help to hear other peoples stories at least at this stage. I wish I had an amazing thought to put down but this is it. I have stuck to this without missing a day for 4 months and don’t intend to stop but it is pretty hard right now. Thanks for hearing me and namaste. Rae
FROM BILL: Get skype so you can call anywhere in the world for almost nothing and DO call the support line. Also CAREFULLY read the support materals several times and do what they say. Take advantage of all the support we offer!
Sorry for being an asshole yesterday. It was my awareness–or lack thereof–that caused me to act that way and, although there is surely an unmet desire there, one who is so immature at times shouldn’t carry that much stuff around by oneself. If you play with fire, often you get burned in the process. Anyway I did appreciate your talk about the heart as this sort of sadness can often be the start of something really huge, and I don’t want you to stop just because. The reason that this resonated so strongly has something to do with all of us with respect to the four quadrants pertaining to integral view; it’s possible to expand the lower left quadrant, rather than being stuck in our individual perspective(s), and because you are a center of influence you could be a bridge for all of us to gain higher awareness. I hate to see such a golden opportunity be wasted. With respect to what you do at centerpointe there isn’t much talk about the quadrants, however with what you’re doing here I believe that a lot more is possible for all of us when we embrace awareness.
You spoke on a retreat cd about how weaker people in a group are often able to work harder because the stronger nervous systems “carry” the energy that would otherwise be limiting beginning meditators at the retreat; I don’t want to offend people by talking about weak virsus strong, however when I attended a retreat I was the weaker one. We could do sort of the same thing here by way of your blog and could really give people a real flavor of what that awareness tastes like. Just imagine what that golden opportunity would be like. Also as a side effect of the awareness new powers come, specifically the power of imagination and enhanced creative abbilities. Think about it, ok? This has been studied in ancient buddhist scriptures, and I’d actually like to make the enlightenment concrete and shareable amung people; there is a lot of essoteric wisdom that may be fascilitated by holosync, and the more we engage our minds in thinking about possabilitties the more we create a sort of neural net that is readying itself for a download of awareness. It’s crazy but it just might work if you’ll use your wonderful imagination. I mean isn’t this what your first course is all about? What about the second course? And the third course, where we’re supposed to make what we want happen in the world? I want to see from your perspective what success looks like (period)!
Dear Rae!!!!!!!!!! Keep listening.Just keep listening.Your depression is just the dirt coming out. After a while it is gone and you will see that it was just your core belief about yourself that had created it. You start to see how unuseful the belief is. You will change your mind about yourself and the depression disappear automaticly. It is like looking for the treasure inside yourself and when you finnaly start seeing it you can taste the first drop of relief. Believe me IT IS MAGIC…!!!
Hi Bill! Thanks for your articles, they are relly good.
For some weeks I have had an idea in my mind about reality that really scares me. The idea came to me after I had used the holosync demo maybe 7-8 times (I have ordered Awekening Prologue now). Its the idea that evrything and everyone are an illusion created by me, that im the only real person in the world and that thought makes me feel afraid and I feel discomfort. I dont like the idea, and it feels scarry when I think about it. It sort of have a grip of my mind, and it doesnt want to go away. I dont know what I should do.
Thankful for answers
FROM BILL: Since you have no evidence that it’s true, anymore than you have evidence that there are fairies on Jupiter or that there is molten chocolate at the center of the Earth, I would just give up thinking about it. When you learn something that is undeniably true, even though it might not be what you would like to be true–such as realizing that everything in the world is impermanent and eventually falls apart–acknowledging the truth of it is ironically freeing. Entertaining an idea about reality that just popped into your head, however, but for which there is no evidence, isn’t going to serve you.
I would observe your mind and see HOW you think about this idea (do you make internal pictures, say something to yourself, or what) and what feelings are created as a result. Be a scientist and observe yourself to see how you create the feeling of uneasiness.
Or, just decide to drop it and do something more fun. Grab your girlfriend and get naked, or whatever.
Oh wow….You are hilarious! Lol!
Hello Bill, thanks for the post.
I wondered if you could answer me a question about buddhism, if you know something about it: according to buddhism we reincarnate constantly because of our ignorance and when it is uprooted, reincarnation ceases.But what happens next? And it sounds as if life is an ”accident” and that we should escape from it by shoving off ignorance.So our only purpose is to “get away” from this place?
I don’t know if you’ve studied such buddhist teachings but you are the only person I know who has some experience with buddhism so please answer if you know something about it.
Keep up the good work!
FROM BILL: This is really too big of a question for me to answer in this format. Let’s just say for now that Buddhism is about seeing the human condition, including life, death, impermanence, and cause and effect, the way they really are, and for what they really are. This means seeing life without adding ideas, concepts, beliefs, or ways of trying to escape from the human condition. What you’re describing is a more superstitious view of Buddhism, which many Buddhists do put forward, rooted in a time when much less was known about science. My suggestion would be to find out about life and what it’s all about for yourself instead of deciding what to believe from a book or from what someone else says.
LOL!! Your comment reminded me of a friend of mine that anytime somebody got to serious or start arguing to much about something He would say ” go get a girlfriend or at least masturbate or something”
Carlos
iv had several droped off mind experiences recently on lvl 1 cd4 i think im gettin this watchin thing down too. http://www.youtube.com/richardmccaul i kinda dedicated this channel to holosync
I often wonder about the same thing, Sam, especially since Bill talks about how we’re creating our reality with our mind. I wonder now if this is only ones perspective though, and that perhaps if one considers being the center of the universe with everything revolving around the one–Sam or whoever–it’s possible to get some uneasiness due to the incredible energy that the person must be feeling. After all if everything centered on me, I would feel uneasy because that’s a huge responceability to take upon oneself. That’s only one perspective though and, while it sometimes can be fun, it more often causes problems than useful solutions to apply to one’s life.
I would always in this situation try to remember that it’s always possible to take the perspective of the one, wherein everything is a direct manifestation of the one I am. However one must remember in this situation to remain in the one’s perspective, wherein the one looks out upon the many manifestations–Sam and Sam and Bill or Terry HS or Ken Wilber or whomever is the object of meditation–and observes all of the activity going on. However one sometimes attempts to look from the many manifestations onto the perspective of the one or, in other words, the many voices contained within the one attempt to focus their energies upon the one object of meditation; this causes a system crash, and should be avoided at all costs. It’s difficult because there are many points of awareness, and when these many points of interest start to consolodate their attention upon one point the energy goes all sideways and can’t function. When I recognize that my point of interest is the one I am, and that I can look from here onto the many other points of interest–and perhaps take one of them as the one I am–and simply observe things as they are, I have a lot more control and can much more readily re-own and embody what I need to function in the world.
Above all though, recognize that nothing can hurt you and that this uneasy feeling means that something is happening; we don’t know what, but something. If you can simply let whatever happens be ok then you’re much more likely to take the ride, as if it’s a roller coaster. I often would get an uneasy feeling before riding roller coasters, however after the ride was over I’d always try to get back in line right away again. I eventually realized that that uneasiness is part of the fun of it all, and that perhaps rather than fear that uneasiness is excitement and anticipation regarding what’s about to happen? Just relax and have fun with it and it’ll all sort itself out; the figuring out part is already done, my friend, and there’s no need to go there.
I’d like to say a thank you to Richard Mccaul for posting his YT link. It’s got some really cool videos on it. The discussion with Bill and Ken is especially good – it’d be great to hear that in its entirety.
T
its all true. I know exactly what you are talking about. Good to know there is someone else out there.
o thx terry im workin on that but i really like to thank bill for this amazing journey iv joined inner circle im gona enjoy my next decade probly more than my last thks bill
Hi again.I just wanted to say thankyou to Bill and also to Anna for answering my post.I will take the advice and Anna you nice words bring me so much hope. I thank al of you out there for listening and reading these posts are such a highlight to my day. Namaste, Rae
I just had a really kick ass idea while listening to holosync, and I can’t contain it anymore. We’ve talked quite a bit on this blog regarding disowned selves, and how we often need to re-identify with these disowned aspects of ourselves such that we might become a fully integrated and freely functioning human being; lord knows the world needs more of us as this time is crucial for our development and we need more embodiments regarding this. At any rate we all disown things however not all disowning is a bad thing, as we can disown things which we put in our black pile (see the post regarding the game of black and white) but we also sometimes tend to disown other things in our white pile. For instance someone else has something that I want and, rather than just talking to them and asking them if I can learn from their experience, I get all pissed off about it; actually not really, but… This disowned good stuff has been called the “golden shadow” by some and it is very powerful once one comes in contact with all of the goodies that one disowned which are beneficial. At any rate back to the point.
I was thinking of Walt Disney and how we can reintegrate our golden shadow by way of our wonderful imagination. It would make sense as Walt Disney was human that he tended to disown things, such as we all do, and part of what he probably disowned was part of his imagination. I mean the possibilities regarding the imagination are imfinite (rather than infinite because he wouldn’t say it correctly as I imagine) so there would be no way for Walt Disney to own all of his imagination unless he approached the speed of infinity (imagine that). This is mind-blowing to me because I actually asked to speak to Walt Disney while listening to holosync by way of big mind, and some pretty cool stuff started to happen. I’ll leave the discovery up to our individual selves to evolve our imaginations, but it’s a cool entry point and something fascinating to at least consider the possibility of exploring. JUST DO IT! There is a whole city waiting for us to re-awaken, which was abandoned a long time ago in a galaxy far far away (perhaps so far away as for the trip we’re taking to take way too long for some of us) by an ancient Buddhist society, and it just takes your willingness to participate and have fun. I mean, what else are we here for? Use the force, don’t let it use you!
September 5, 2009 at 10:29 pm “T” says:
its all true. I know exactly what you are talking about. Good to know there is someone else out there.
I’m unsure. What this means.
Hey Bill, This post reminds me AVATAR http://www.planetavatar.com/
I did their training years ago and the space you write about was my experience, however briefly. Can recall also being at the point of discreating all that I am… but then what?
It is interesting how the mind cannot, and quite naturally, comprehend the non mind.
Do we exist if we cannot monitor ourselves? How do we know we exist if there is nothing to see, feel, experience?
More to the point, isn’t that what we a re here for in the first place.
Take the baggage and guilt of it all and experience it.
Funny creatures these human doings….
Cheers,
Here’s what I am doing when I am awake http://www.polarismediagroup.com/best_decision_ever/ a way to make lot’s of people happier.
FROM BILL: What makes you think you need to monitor yourself? And what makes you think that if you enter the transcendent you won’t feel anything?
I am on Level 3 CD3. Last 3 years have been very tough in business and personal life for me. I went through a tough divorce after a 15 year marriage, found my perfect partner and fell in love and got married. Successful business you know the Million dollar home, exotic cars just a great life. One day My wife found out she had 3 months to live with pancreatic cancer and after a tough battle of 2 years and me not working and just being with her in hospitals she passed away at a young age of 34, about 19 months ago. I ended up loosing my business and the all the glory and riches. At the middle of this I came across Holosync, been a faithful listener, the help line has been an incredible support. If I didn’t have Holosync I think I would have fallen into the trap of drugs, alcoholism because everything happened so fast and the trauma, I just depended on Holosync. I have learned to let go, however as I more time passes my energy is coming up and sometimes a the start of a new level I need to sleep 12-13 hours a day. I thought there was something wrong with me. Now I accept it and just let it be as some things are just coming to the surface and mind and body needs the healing. Instead of worry and fear I witness things and then let them go, I know my life will be back and it’s all up to me. The more I go into deeper levels of Holosync the more the awareness and not to fight, just accepting things the way they are. I have taken more time during each CD then most sometimes as long as 4 months on one CD instead of the normal 6 weeks. I know without Holosync I couldn’t be this strong and face my fears and anxiety about the past with such Gratitude that at least I had the means to be with my wife and that meant a lot to her and myself. Awareness is just beginning as I go up in the levels I know it will have much more deeper meaning. As I put my business and everything back in order at my own pace now, the appreciation of things will be far more enhanced. Now I understand what Bill has been saying as I observe friends in this economic cycle go through divorce over the loss of money and material things, they just don’t have the realization of a deeper energy within themselves that nothing on the outside can effect them, it is always the energy inside you and Holosync the just make you so aware. Letting go is the best gift from Holosync!! As I realize most all live in the past, the past emotions and past stays with us and repeats itself. Learning how to live in the present moment and being the observer, the witness is the Holosync solution.
FROM BILL: Very well expressed. Good for you for being open enough to have these insights and to want to embody them. Keep going. It gets even better as you go deeper into the program.
Wow. I’d like to say a thank you to Haris for having the courage to share such personal challenges so openly. His courage and resilience is inspirational.
I’ve been using Holosync for about 2 months so far, and thought I’d respond to Sam’s post from Sept 3rd above.
I’ve been meditating for years, and about a year ago, I hit a snag. Every time I would meditate, I’d get paranoid that something sinister was lurking, and just waiting to catch me ‘unawares’ and do something undesirable. I would also get frequent nightmares along the same lines. No matter what I did, I could not shake this feeling when meditating, so I decided to just stop meditating all together, after trying all kinds of ‘tricks’.
After starting Holosync, I reading through some of the support materials, I came across some of Bill’s writing on the ‘Witness Position’, and thought it was interesting. I quietly filed it away in the back of my mind, and carried on.
About a month ago, (a month into using Holosync), the paranoia suddenly came back while I was meditating. It left me quite distressed the first time, but after thinking about it, I decided to try the ‘Witness Position’ the next time it occurred.
The very next time I used Holosync, it happened again, and this time, I chose to become aware of it in a different way. I felt the initial panic, but then focused on ‘watching’ myself get agitated… just observing. Almost miraculously, within a few moments, the paranoia was gone, and I couldn’t help but quietly chuckle, and marvel at how easy that had been.
Interestingly, I haven’t had the problem since!
So to Sam, and anyone else who has a similar issue, definitely try ‘observing your agitation’ while in the meditative state. It works!
Hey Bill…. Just a little question, are you gonna update these new blogs in your iTunes Podcast? I love listening to your blog on my iTunes while I am driving, it really makes the whole experience really awesome. thanks for all your hard work.
Dear Bill
This sight is new for me and I must say I love it, especially your blogs. I find it a little disappointing though that you are charging so much – 1295 dollars- for an event. What happens to the people that don’t have the good fortune to possess so much money and experience such a ‘ historic event ‘? I don’t mean to sound cynical because it’s obvious that you have helped and are helping many people out there . I look forward to using the CDs in the near future. Many thanks…Bob
FROM BILL: First of all, it’s not my event, so I have nothing to do with what it costs. Second, it costs money to put on an event, and those who put it on, present at it, help with the logistics, provide the meeting room, and so forth, deserve to be paid. There are many things in life that cost more money than some people can pay. My suggestion would be to find a way to be of service to others that allows you to make enough money to buy whatever you want.
I haven’t started to use Holosync yet, but I have been reading up on it. these changes that I read of are amazing. it would almost be hard to believe if I weren’t hearing it from so many people. I just started using “The Secret” a little while ago, and that small change in thinking made a huge difference in my life, so how much more would it be changed if I were to do to do this…. The possibilities seem endles!
Thanks, Glenn
Hello Bill!
Im now doing purif 1 cd 4. And Im telling that Im living in middle of heaven now. Really. Yes, everything is so perfect in my life and in my world. Everything, what ever happens, its still “perfect”.
I want to share an experience of my own.
My mother died couple of months ago, and I saw her lying on the floor, dead as a stone.
At the same time when I felt great sadness because I will not see her never again, I felt also much, much greater gratitude that I have had spend over 4 decades with her.
When my father died 15 years ago, I spend long time with “vodkabottles” and never had really time to think what I feel. I just wanted desperately to forget it.
Gratitude, it is really “the key-world/feeling”. And I found it with holosync.
The journey will continue
Bill, be well;-)
FROM BILL: Yes, almost everyone once they get into the Purification levels says what you are saying about life. My biggest challenge is getting across to people just how potent and amazing Holosync is without seeming like I must be overstating it. You said it beautifully.
[...] like this Bill Harris’ writings and I think his message here is one of the true keys to living happily as a human [...]
RE: carlos says: August 25, 2009 at 8:04 pm
[1] I too am at Purifcation-1 but CD-1, not CD-3. I have also been worried that many of my previous changes have flown out the window. I get angry at trivial things and intolerant of others to mention a couple. Maybe I should just ride out the storm in the hope that progress will resume with CD-2 or -3.
[2] On the subject of “emptiness” and searching for that which we already are- I have recently been diagnosed as an Asperger’s Syndrome person. It explains a great deal about the way I function, including why I don’t “get it” when doing various self-improvement courses like Life Principles Integration Process, Learning Strategies, Sedona, BMBH etc. And it throws up the question of what my purpose is in life – I’d better find out soon as I’m78 already
[3] Being told to just accept the emptiness doesn’t cut it. Focusing my mind on the opposite doesn’t either. I would really like to know how Holosync might help me cope with Asperger’s Syndrome or if it will have any effect. The Holosync Support people were unable to offer any advice beyond “just keep on keeping on”.
FROM BILL: Holosync has helped many people with Asperger’s, including my son.
Emptiness just means that nothing has any intrinsic separate identity apart form its relationship to everything else. All you have to do is look around to see that. I’m not asking you to accept anything. I’m asking you to look with awareness, whether it’s at the fact that everything exists in relationship to everything else, or whether it’s to watch your own internal processes, which is what I’m asking you to do in the online courses. There is NOTHING to “learn” in these courses. Everything you might learn is by observing how your own internal processes create how you feel, how you behave, which people and situations you attract, and what all that stuff happening around you “means.”
When you have upheaval while using Holosync is does NOT mean you aren’t making progress. It means that you are becoming aware of more of your own unconscious shadow stuff and are resisting it. Stop resisting and it will feel better. The more you become aware of this stuff, the less you will unconsciously create suffering for yourself, so this IS progress (though the resistance is unnecessary).
I have been using Holosync on and off for the last month or so, together with other techniques.
I think it’s a useful tool.
I also don’t think it is an end-all to anything.
Be honest with yourself, respect yourself and your experiences and read some books by Shakti Gawain – and you’ll save yourself some money and frustration.
Enjoy life and be of service to others.
Period.
xoxo
e
FROM BILL: Holosync increases awareness. Lack of awareness underlies all the problems of life THAT YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT (there are plenty you can’t do anything about). Meditation makes you more aware. Holosync meditation makes you MUCH more aware, and does it faster. I have never said that Holosync is an “end-all.” There is no end-all. Holosync does, however, make the user much happier, much more peaceful inside, much clearer mentally, and much more aware. That’s actually quite a lot.
Wow! What good stuff to read. Many laughs and a light heart.
This is my second page and look forward to reading all sometime soon.
Your answers are very informative.
Thanks to everyone again for sharing.
Hi Bill,
I just had an experience this evening that I want to share with you and your readers. I have been experiencing the “dark nite of the soul,” where I felt I was in “nothingness” – the void. I doubted everything, every belief system, and even your teachings, Bill.
I decided to confide to my mother about my depression. She was frantic and quickly said, “Did you call your doctor for medication,” and so on. I understand a mother’s concern, but we as a culture are soon to cover up anything that is unpleasant. Depression is so unacknowledged; maybe that is why some of us have to carry this shadow. How quickly we’re told it is not ok. How soon we pathologize it and want to medicate, suffocate this so-called demon. It such an invalidation to me, saying that I’m not ok. I am ok even when depression has me in its grips.
I decided to voice dialog with the mature and immature depression using Genpo Roshi’s technique. It was powerful. Oh, how I love awakening!
Namaste,
Cassandra
Bill, someone in my extended family has Asperger’s and I did call in to your help line and ask about. They were guarded in their reply (rightly so), so I didn’t pursue it. But I am interested in your personal experience, how Holosync helped your son. Is he more socially adept? Can he cope better with life? How long did it take? How bad was his condition to start with? Etc.
It is so painful to watch this young man in my family, see his pain, and think he may “not get it” like John (and by the way John, my best to you and I hope you do “get it” before you leave us.)
Thanks
FROM BILL: Of course we are not touting Holosync as a cure for Aspergers, first of all. We may be doing some clinical studies soon about that and a number of other conditions about which we’ve had extensive positive feedback from customers over the years.
My son has used Holosync, though not regularly. When he has used it I have seen remarkable changes in the short term (he’s depressed and won’t speak to anyone, he listens for 30 minutes and his entire mood changes, for instance). The longer-term effect that I would expect would require more regular use (which you are motivating me to make happen).
We do have quite a bit of feedback from people who have used Holosync with autistic kids (including teenagers and young adults) and the feedback is quite encouraging–less acting out, better language skills, more calmness, more eye contact, and so on.
I would not hesitate to get relatives suffering from something in the Aspergers spectum to use Holosync, as I suspect that it will be very helpful. Let me know what happens.